Day 136 Honoring My Husband by Just Showing Up

Today I am honoring my husband by showing up.  I had a meeting in Baltimore City today and Bryan had another meeting on tomorrow morning.  Meanwhile I did an all nighter last night, I cannot believe I even have the capacity to do such a thing anymore but I did.  Normally I would drive to the city for my meeting drive all the way back home and then return the next day.  Today I am honoring my husband by just showing up and taking him up on the request to stay in Baltimore tonight instead of going back home.    

In the book I am reading, Improv Wisdom, one of the principles is “Just Show Up.”  The author, Patricia Ryan Madson shares that Woody Allen says showing up is 80% of the success.  She suggests creating a ritual of showing up by identifying a habit you wish you had.  My habit will be showing up in the bedroom.  I have been so busy that I typically go to bed later than Bryan so by the time I get to bed he is well asleep and makes me well aware of going to bed after him.  Now of course it is not about going to bed but being in bed that becomes the problem.  Today I am honoring my husband by making a habit of showing up in the bedroom before my husband goes to sleep and will continue to do so in a new way that matters.

Wives of the world in what way can you honor your husband by showing up?  Is there any area where you have been absence in your marriage?  Is there a habit or ritual of showing up you can begin that will be honoring of your husband, you and your marriage?  Please share your story with us; we would love to hear from your stories.

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 135 Honoring My Husband by Just Being

All I could muster on yesterday was to simply honor my husband by just being.  I had a major assignment to complete and spent all day and night working on it.  Honoring my husband was in my heart but not in my reach beyond just thinking about him and the concept of honoring him.  So I simply honored him with my being, in my heart and in my thoughts.   The Law of Attraction says we attract to us what we think and believe so I know I am sending good messages to him through the universe from my spirit.

Wives of the world how do you honor your husband with your being and in your thoughts when time, opportunity and life gets in the way of honoring him with action.  Please share your stories; we would love to hear from you. 

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 134 Honoring My Husband With Servanthood

Today was a long and tiring day.  Bryan and I saw each other this morning and again late this evening.  I am so tired after a long day of working, teaching and driving.  Today I honored my husband with servanthood in the midst of my exhausion I wanted to make sure he still felt like I cared.  Sometimes a sandwich is more than a sandwich.

Wives of the world how do you or can you honor your husbands with servanthood?  When looking up servanthood in the dictionary it states an employee or assistant especially in a household.  Well today I guess I fit that definition.  Ladies, please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 133 Honoring My Husband Through Negotiations

Last year we had an exchange student stay with us for a month.  She was from Spain and was a blessing to our home.  She and I so connected that she is coming back for a month this year on her own.  She and I have been emailing each other counting down the days.  She calls me her Maryland Mom and she will be here on this upcoming Saturday.  I'm pretty excited to see her.

However Bryan on the other hand its just another thing to do.  I have decided to take her to Niagara Falls this summer with my sister and niece.  Bryan figured it would be more cost effective because we would not need two rooms for accommodations.  Since she will not be in school this year the challenge will be how to keep a 16 year old engaged for 30 days.  That being said, I am honoring my husband through negotiating.  Her name is Maria and she will be celebrating  her birthday during her stay.  Last year we took her on the boat for her birthday and she was so overwhelmed with joy.  This year I will be teaching class the evening of her birthday and I am negotiating with Bryan to take her out for her birthday.  I am also negotiating with  him for the weekend excursions.  Bryan would much rather stay home and hang out on the boat than take a trip with a 16 year old.

Today I am honoring my husband through negotiations by trying to work through how he can support me in keeping a 16 year old engaged for the month.  If you have any grand ideas, I would love to hear them.

Wives of the world in what ways do you honor your husband's through negotiations?  Do you try to negotiate things with him or do you just demand they are according to your path?  It is always easier to get more bees with honey.  Are you serving honey or sour milk in your requests?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"A smile is the secret to a successful negotiation."

Day 132 Honoring My Husband by Honoring His Family

Today we hosted the graduation party for my sister-in-law two sons.  They recently graduated from high school.  With all we had going on Bryan and I hosted the party with well over 150 people.  I had a paper to complete so I had to turn my house over to the family.  The kids really had a great time, there was music, activities and lots of teenagers.  Today I honored my husband by honoring his family and opening our home for them to celebrate the success of the graduates. 

Wives of the world how can you or do you  honor your husband by honoring his family? Please share your stories with us: we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them."
-- Desmond Tutu

Day 131 Honoring My Husband With A Secret

http://www.husbandsgetlucky.com/
Purchase the ebook for $4.99

I came across an interesting book while perusing a blog I have been following.  On the blog was a give away for a new eBook called The Husband's Guide to Getting Lucky.  I thought what a cool title and I'm intrigued about what it may entail.  My interest was further peaked when I realized that the proceeds will go towards a mission trip to Cambodia. I was all in at that point.

Today I am honoring my husband with a secret.  The secret I hope he'll find hidden in this cute little booklet.
I have to admit there is a bit of selfishness in honoring him in this respect, for when he figures out the secret whatever it is I hope to also benefit.  What a wonderful win/win.  I love it when things work out that way.  At the end of the day if he does not get any great insight at least the person going to Cambodia will be just that much closer to getting there.

Wives of the world I hope you are encouraged to honor your husband's with a secret by passing along this booklet.  Just the idea of supporting someone to spread the gospel in another country is an awesome way to give back.  Please share your stories with us about honoring your husband with a secret; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"The secret to humor is surprise." Aristotle

Day 130 Honoring My Husband With A Sense of Urgency

Praise be to God for water!

Today we continued the saga of being waterless in our home.  Of course it could not happen at a worse time.  Both Bryan and I had previous engagements today and someone needed to be home to wait for the plumber to repair our well.  I was scheduled to teach a session at my church and Bryan had a court date scheduled.  I attempted to see if I could schedule the plumber in the afternoon once my class was done but Bryan was concerned we would miss our window of opportunity for the Friday work day and run into paying weekend rates.

At the end of the day I had to honor my husband's sense of urgency and be the one to stay home.  Praise be to God, the great news is we now have running water!  I really have such an appreciation for this luxury we have in America; as I know there are so many countries that do not have running water and cannot just call a plumber to get it working.  My heart goes out to anyone in such a predicament.  Today I honored my husband with a sense of urgency by re-prioritizing to ensure we would have water in our home and not have to worry about how we were going to take a shower and even more critical what to do about Sunday's party.  Praise God he never ceases to amaze.  He may not come when you want him but he is always right on time.

Wives of the world in what ways do you or can you honor your husband's with a sense of urgency?  What was your response when you had a commitment but the priorities of home and life had to take precedence?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Without a sense of urgency, desire loses its value."

     

Day 129 Honoring My Husband for his Responsiveness

Today I am honoring my husband for his incredible ability to help me get grounded when I am feeling overwhelmed.  Today was one of those days, we have a problem with our well so we have been without water for two days, I just realized I have another paper due this weekend because I got the date wrong, I am facilitating a session at my church's women's conference on Friday and Saturday and we are hosting a graduation party for our nephews who invited over 250 people to our home, which is not ready for a party because we have no water to do regular housekeeping.  To say that I was a tad bit overwhelmed today is an understatement. I remember thinking and saying a little prayer Lord I really need your help.

I called Bryan just to share my feelings and he immediately went into fix it mode.  Typically I really do not want a fix I just want him to listen, but today I needed someone to help me work through how to conquer what I was facing.  I was pleased, comforted, relieved and so appreciative of his quick problem solving mode.  Within in five minutes he had delegated some of the work that needed to be done to get ready for the party and suggested some things to work through balancing my commitments.  I ended the call much better than I started and felt such a great sense of relief.  This is why today I am honoring my husband for his responsiveness to my needs.  He was so on it and it so worked. 

Wives of the world how can you or do you honor your husband for his responsiveness?  How do you let him know when his natural ability to solve problems has worked miracles for you?  So many times we just want  our men to listen, but there are times when their advice and support are invaluable.  How can you honor your husband today for his responsiveness?  Please share your stories with us we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Nothing penetrates the human heart as does a personal, fervant prayer and its heaven-sent response." Thomas S. Monson

Day 128 Honoring My Husband By Valuing Our Differences

Sometimes it takes the square and the
circle together to make the perfect shape.

On day 126 I mentioned how Bryan and I are very different in our approach to many things.  He is very black and white and I see gray.  I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and he trust just about no one, I see the glass half full, and he sees it half empty.  I make decisions from my heart and he is all business and bottom line.  These differences are typically handled very well because we tend to balance each other out however they can also be very challenging.

One of the ways we are very different is when it comes to money.  I tend to manage to the penny and he is very frugal (putting it nicely); if I lend someone money I feel blessed if I get it back and if he lends someone money he feels they are obligated to give it back.  If someone commits to paying me for something I tend to trusts that they will and he will too until the day they committed has past.  Financial differences and expectations can be a huge source of marital discourse and fortunately for us we have found a good middle ground, but not without our difficulties.  Today I found myself having to really value, understand and appreciate our differences when it comes to finances. 

I am in a situation where someone owes me money, I am being pretty patient about it and Bryan is quite frustrated.  I believe the situation will work out as needed and he believes the person is trying to take advantage of me, my time and skills.  I really had to sit with his perspective and recognize that because we come from such different places there truly is value in both our views.  The key for me is to find that good and healthy balance where I am not being too lenient and he is not being too hard or where I am standing my ground and he is allowing some latitude.  In the end, I know the Lord has placed us together so that we can support each other with the opposite perspective so that we are both making fully informed decisions. 

Today I am honoring my husband by valuing our differences when it comes to finance.  I am so appreciative of him giving me his perspective so I am not so lopsided when it comes to holding others accountable.  Our differences I believe is what keeps our scale balanced.

Wives of the world in what ways can you or do you honor your husband by valuing your differences when it comes to finances?  I have learned that in just about every situation there is his truth, her truth and the truth.  It does not make either right or wrong just a different way of viewing the situation.  When we can find that happy medium that takes into account both perspectives, that's when the bells ring together to make beautiful music.  What type of music are you making when it comes to your husband differences?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Our greatest strength as a human race is our ability to acknowledge our differences, our greatest weakness is our failur to embrace them." Judith Henderson

Day 127 Honoring My Husband Buck Naked

Buck Naked Marriage: by Dr Corey Allan.
http://www.simplemarriage.com/

Today I came across an interested tool to help marriages thrive.  It is called Buck Naked Marriage by Dr. Cory Allan.  At first glance I thought it was going to be about clearing the internal clutter to allow our authentic selves to emerge in our marriage.  However after reading the details I learned that it is more about focusing on the bare essentials of marriage like money, kids, and family.

I know these things are very important to work on and I love the concept of being buck naked in marriage.  I personally like the idea of stripping ourselves of the mask sometimes worn to protect the self image we may have created.  Today I am honoring my husband by being buck naked and ensuring that I am always showing my authentic self by owning my stuff, speaking from the heart, sharing what needs to be said in love and exposing what needs to be seen or shared for a greater us.

Wives of the world in what ways can you honor your husband's with either concept of being Buck Naked?  How can you ensure you are always showing your authentic self? What can you do to focus on the bare essentials in your marriage?  Whichever you choose be sure it is the nakedness most needed in your situation?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you. 

Blessings,

Rochelle

"A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short."  ~Andre Mauroi

Day 126 Honoring My Husband's Skills

What the challenge today has been with technology.  My apologies to my daily readers about the delay in completing my post for yesterday.  I wish there was a back up to the back up, back up.  If that makes any sense.  Well enjoy my journey from yesterday and stay tuned later for today's journey.  Rochelle

Bryan and I have very different personality types.  He is very black and white and I see gray, he does not mix business and pleasure and I think there should be a balance of the two in any working relationship.  If someone owes him money, he typically is not concerned about their personal situation and I typically am.  We are just very different in our approach; however there is a great benefit to how we complement each other.

Bryan is the ultimate negotiator and I would say I am okay but it depends on the situation.  I have a tendency to allow my heart to get in the way of my decisions which can be very beneficial at times and damaging at others.  I recently had a situation where I needed the ultimate negotiation skills because my heart was very much engaged.  So I referred to Bryan and he was able to provide some coaching that enabled a win/win solution.  Today I honored my husband by referring to his intellectual skills and our differences.  It was quite helpful and I felt honored that he has such an ability to see black and white because although I do not prefer that approach there are times when it truly is needed.

Wives of the world in what ways do you or can you honor your husband's skills?  Does he know what aspects of his personality that is different than yours are of true value to you and your family?  How can you honor his differences and skills today?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Differences are what make the world a greater and more interesting place to explore."

Day 125 Honoring My Husband As An Honorary Father

Happy Father's Day to all the dads across the world and especially to those fathers that are enjoying being honored by their wives throughout 2011.

Bryan and I do not have children of our own however I am proud to say that we have both had the opportunity to serve as sit in parents for several children that are now adults.  Today I honored my husband as an honorary father. He served as a teacher for many years.  During that time two of his students became very attached to him while in the sixth grade.  Neither of these students had a father figure so Bryan became their honorary father.  Today the young lady is a beautiful 25 year old adult working in New York and the young man is a 28 year old working young man and now father himself.

It was very nice to enjoy lunch with him and his honorary daughter today.  Over the years he has supported her through college and has been there for her emotionally.  His adopted son has stated that Bryan is the reason he is not on the streets and why he is a good father today.  I am honored to honor my husband as an honorary father to the two people he has truly served as the substitute dad.

Wives of the world how did you honor your mate as a father today?  Are you a woman who is lucky enough to have someone that has taken on the responsibility as dad to your children that are not his?  How can you ensure he feel acknowledged and rewarded for his unselfish giving of his heart, time, resources and love?  Please share your stories with us we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!" Lydia M. Child

Day 124 Honoring My Husband by Keeping It Simple

Today I came across a great website about marriage.  It was called Simple Marriage.  One of the posting was about 6 ways to soothe yourself to a better marriage.  Below are the suggestions that were listed.  I love the idea of keeping it simple in marriage.  It is so easy to make a mountain out of a molehill so the concept of keeping it simple had me thinking about the impact this could have not only on our marriage but also on our spirit.  The suggestions were:

1. Don’t take your partner’s behavior personally. Even if your partner doesn’t make all the changes you’ve made, don’t take it personally. If you and your partner are having a conflict, try some inwardly focused relaxation techniques. Focus on your breathing. Stop talking and try to slow your heart rate. Lower the volume of your speech and work on relaxing your body. In other words, you take care of you.
2. Keep the current conflict in perspective. Think about past instances of the same type of conflict. What resources did you use in the past for dealing with the conflict? Think about how discomfort will surface again in the future – and if you learn now how to deal with it, you will be better off in these future instances.
3. Control your behavior, even if you can’t regulate your emotions. While you may have difficulty in controlling your emotions, especially in the face of a conflict, you can have control over your behavior. Prevent yourself from saying and doing things that you will regret later. Tell yourself: “I don’t have to take action on my feelings.”
4. Stop the negative thinking. Thoughts drive your feelings and behavior. When you find yourself engaged in negative thinking, make the change to more positive thoughts. Accept what is happening – then calm down.
5. You may have to break contact temporarily with your partner until things cool down. When you are engaged in a conflict, you may need some time to get in touch with your self again. Look on this as a time-out, not a separation. Tell your partner that you need some time alone to calm down and that you can discuss the issue better later, after both of you have had some space from each other.
6. Self-soothing does not involve substance abuse, the abuse of food, or emotional regression. You need time to confront yourself and understand what your part in the conflict may be. This does not mean hiding out, sleeping, binge-eating, or the use of drugs or alcohol, which are all ways to avoid self-confrontation.

Today I am honoring my husband by keeping it simple because just as Forrest Gump put it, life if like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get.  If we chose to have our spirit disrupted each time we tasted something that was not fitting to our taste we could live a life with a frustrated spirit.

Wives of the world in what ways can you or do you honor your husband by keeping it simple?  What do you need to keep simple today?  Please share your stories with us we would love to hear and learn from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 123 Honoring My Husband Through the Heart

Today I am honoring my husband through the heart.  I came across the following video about the road to love. She speaks about the road being the heart.  Jesus lives in our heart and when we touch the heart of others we are sharing with them the greatest aspect of Jesus love. 

                       

So how exactly is it that I intend to honor my husband through the heart?  You are probably thinking that should be something I do anyway, well I believe it is something I do however I also think it is not something I do all the time.  Honoring my husband from the heart to me means when he says something or does something I may not necessary like or agree with, how do I respond.  Do I respond from the head or from the heart?  I think most times I respond from the heart, but I also know there are times I respond from the head.  Those are the times that instead of making the situation better I might make it worse, this is what I would like to change.  I am honoring my husband from the heart by listening, responding and acting from the heart as much and as often as I possibly can.

Wives of the world in what ways can you or do honor your husband's through the heart?  What happens when you respond, react or take action based on something your husband may have done?  Are you honoring him through the head or heart during those times?  If you do not know, ask him and I am sure he will tell you if it feels like you are honoring him from the heart.  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 122 Honoring My Husband With Gratefulness

Today I am honoring my husband with gratefulness.  I had work to do with a client and needed to make copies of my presentation.  I had intended on making copies at FedEx and Kinko's but I was really concerned about having to deal with traffic in downtown Baltimore.   I think my husband know Baltimore inside out and around and asked him if he knew of another place I could get what I needed.  Turns out he did. 

He took the time to drive by the place to make sure they were still open and to get the name for me.  I got there literally minutes before closing but they were very accommodating and their work was better than I expected.  So I  not only got the copies I needed, I got them at a better price and better quality without having to deal with traffic.  All because my husband directed me to them.  I was thrilled with gratitude.  today I am honoring my husband with gratefulness because I am so grateful for him and all his brilliance and his support today.

Wives of the world in what ways can  you honor your husband's with gratefulness on today?  What small or big thing has he done that warrants a warm felt sense of appreciation?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear and learn from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Gratitude is nothing less than the key to happiness."

Day 121 Honoring My Husband With Positive Beliefs

My attention was captured today by a book I am reading, Awaken The Giant Within by Anthony Robbins. In his book he uses several concepts I have heard and tried to put in practice.  However when I reread one of the sections today what struck me was this aspect of how our beliefs impact our feelings and our feelings impact what we do.  I began to think about this in relationship to marriage. 

I thought about the times when I allowed my feelings to get in the way of what I wanted or may have needed to do in relationship to my spouse.  I began to think about so what would happen if I just decided that I was only going to think positive beliefs about my marriage.  How would the universe respond if I reframed my thoughts about my husband working late.  Instead of thinking he is just filling time, I change that thought to be he is ensuring the economic viability of our family or instead of thinking he knew he hurt my feelings I could reframe to believe he really had no idea of the impact. 

I am typically the ultimate optimist as I have shared before, however there are times when even I go to that ugly place of temporary despair.  Fortunately for me I do not visit that place very often, but imagine the high degree of infrequency if I applied this principle to all aspects of my life including my relationship at all times.  Imagine the positive emotional intact and continued emotional balance.  Because of the unlimited emotional potential, today I am honoring my husband with positive beliefs. 

Just yesterday we were having a conversation about something and I explained how his words impacted me.  Now that I think about the aspect of reframing how I thought about the situation I could have saved myself from the brief emotional impact.  Today I am honoring my husband with positive beliefs which I believe will not only honor him but it will also honor me and my commitment to God to stay grounded and only see the good. 

Wives of the world how do you honor your husband's with positive beliefs?  Are you one to go into an emotional tailspin when something happens? What do you think would happen if you changed how you thought about a situation, how much emotional energy would you save if you focused on the positive of what could have been instead of a negative perception of what it may have been.  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses; it is an idea that possesses the mind." Robert Oxton Bolt

Day 120 Honoring My Husband With Accommodating

I have mentioned on a few occasions about the distance Bryan and I live from Baltimore City, over 60 miles north of the city.  Unfortunately, it is the location where we spend most of our time so we spend a lot of time on the road.  Today I had a teaching event in a city south of Baltimore and tomorrow Bryan has a business engagement also south of Baltimore. 

Earlier today we discussed the possibility of staying in Baltimore so he could get to his event and not have to worry about the traffic.  I thought we ended that conversation by stating we would stay at home and stay in Baltimore on tomorrow evening and Bryan thought the reverse.  In the event I am honoring my husband today by accommodating his need to meet his business appointment in the morning by staying in Baltimore City on tonight.  This is really a win/win situation. I do not have to make the almost two hour trip home and Bryan will not have to get up at the break of dawn to make his appointment.  I love it when things just work out for the good of everyone.

Wives of the world in what ways do you or can you honor your husband by accommodating?  In what area might you be able to ensure a win/win for the two of you instead of a win/lose situation?  So often we talk about the aspect of compromise in a marriage and I do believe there is a great degree of and need for  compromise in marriage.  However I also believe that compromise does not mean win/lose; but win/win.  It is more about how can each partner get a little of what they both want instead of how does one partner get all of what they want at the expense of the other.  How can you honor your husband with accommodating today?  Please share your story with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"The Law of Win/Win says, Let’s not do it your way or my way; let’s do it the best way”
Greg Anderson

Day 119 Honoring My Husband With Attention

Sometimes I can go about my day, do what needs to be done for my business, school and home and before you know it the day has passed.  Although I am honoring my husband it does not always mean I am giving him the attention he needs or that I would like.  So today, I am honoring my husband with attention. 

I remember on the Oprah show a relationship expert said to keep the fire burning to kiss your partner for at least 30 seconds everyday. Bryan and I always kiss each other when we leave or first see each other, however it is usually a quick peck.  Today I wanted to demonstrate my attention to him by applying the expert's theory so I kissed him for over 30 seconds at entry.  As this process has been going, I am always learning. Today I learned that the concept of the 30 second kiss hold true.  It was not only a way to honor my husband but it was a way to receive pleasure myself, surprise him and set the stage for the remainder of the evening.

Wives of the world in what ways do you or can you honor your husband with attention?  Along with your continued yes, and the 30 second kiss and just see what happens.  When we give our attention to our loved ones through the sense of touch, we add another layer to our emotional deposit?  It increases our deposit by 100% and at the same time having the deposit returned.  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention." Richard Moss

Day 118 Honoring My Husband With A Surprise

I am really excited today, for the first time in 18 months my class ended early.  It is a beautiful sunny day and I am truly excited about the opportunity to spend time with my husband; especially since I had forgotten we were ending early and told him I would not see him until later this evening.  So today I am honoring my husband by surprising him with my early arrival so we can really enjoy the remainder of the afternoon and spend the evening enjoying the outdoors.  So I am off to make my way home so I can see the expression of happiness on my husband.

Wives of the world how do you or can you honor your husband's with an unexpected surprise today?  What can you do that will make him smile and leave a lasting impression?  The author of the Five Love Languages calls it filling the emotional love bank and today I am going to make a huge deposit.  What are you depositing into your mates emotional bank today?

Blessings,

Rochelle

"A good surprise fills the soul and ignites the spirit with joy." R.A. Simmons

Day 117 Honoring My Husband From Afar

The challenge of today is honoring my husband yet again from afar.  I am in DC and he is back at home.  So I have decided that today, I am simply honoring my husband by honoring our relationship and our marriage.  I had the opportunity today to offer someone a suggestion based on their current marital challenges. I am always so grateful to God when he offers the opportunity to share with others.  This time it was not sharing all the good but sharing how we got through some tough challenges.  Today I honored my husband from afar by helping someone else.

Wives of the world in what ways do your or can you honor your husband's from afar?  How do you ensure in or out of his presence you are honoring him, your marriage and your relationship even in conversation with others?   Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 116 Honoring My Husband By Sharing

This weekend I am away on my monthly learning excursion in Washington, DC.  I am always excited to learn more while at the same time dreading the added workload.  It's kind of like getting your favorite piece of candy and having to go through a traffic jam to get it.  While in class today I had the opportunity to share with someone about the blog and my husband while she shared some of her story with me.  It was such a nice exchange of pleasantries.  She shared a wonderful technique with me about how to help my husband reduce stress that I will definitely test out and share with you all when I do.

After having this conversation I was so appreciative of having the opportunity to be in a learning environment about one thing and getting an education on something totally unrelated to the classroom topic.  I cannot wait to try and share what I learned.  Today I honored my husband by sharing and received a lesson from a more experienced wife that my husband will certainly be very appreciative of and enjoy. 

Wives of the world how can you or do you honor your husband by sharing?  I have always believed the blessings in life comes from giving rather than receiving and I was truly blessed today by the sharing from someone else and she too said it was a blessing to her.  Please share in what ways can you or have you honored your husband's by sharing and possibly getting blessed in the meantime?  We would love to hear your stories.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else." 2nd Corin 9:13

Day 115 Honoring My Husband With Space

Today the Lord gave me a true perspective of what it means to offer space.  I was supposed to be at one of our properties today for a showing.  However on Tuesday a group I am working with realized we were not going to complete  our project for school and had to schedule time to meet on this evening.  Well there was absolutely no way I would have made it from Baltimore to DC in time for the meeting had I led the showing.  I had to ask Bryan to fill in the gap. 

Initially he said it would be no problem, but as the time approached today he was not too happy about having to change his plans and he needed to let me know.  So today I honored my husband with space, space in terms of air space so he could vent his frustrations about having to make the change.  As I pondered on his need to vent about this issue, I also wondered how often  the Lord allows us space to vent about whatever we may feel is not going according to plan.  I'm so grateful he offers space by providing mercy and grace.

Wives of the world how do you honor your husband's with space?  Do you allow him the space to vent his frustrations, even when you may not agree with the contexts of the conversation?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 114 Honoring My Husband With A Continuation

Today is the 7th day since I committed to following the suggestion of Patricia Ryan Madson, the author of Improv Wisdom by honoring my husband  by saying yes for a week.  Well it has been quite the week.  As I mentioned a few days ago I have learned just how much I used to say not now.  This past week I was stopped in my tracks several times as I tried to hold true to saying yes. 

The best part about saying yes all week is that Bryan really noticed the difference.  I do not believe he realized exactly what was different but he knew something was different.  Because of this I am honoring my husband with a continuation of the commitment to say yes for at least one more week.  I just love when I am able to be of service to someone else, in this case my husband, and at the same time learn something about myself that changes me for the better.  God is so good.

Wives of the world how can you honor your husband with a continuation of a prior commitment?  Did you commit to saying yes for 7 days and if so are you willing to go the extra mile and commit to another 7?  Did you learn anything about yourself along the journey and did your husband take notice of the difference in you?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear and learn from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Every choice moves us closer to or farther away from something.  Where are your choices taking your life:  What do your behaviors demonstrate that you are saying yes or no to in life?"

Day 113 Honoring My Husband With Passion

The Love of Culinary Creativity

Today I am thanking Jesus for the rediscovery of my passion for cooking.  I mentioned back on day 72 how I was experiencing challenges with my culinary skills.  By getting to the core of the challenge I have rediscovered why I used to love cooking so much. 

The past couple of days I was quite excited about the possibilities.  Today I honored my husband with my rediscovered passion for cooking.  It is amazing how easy it is for something we love to become more a burden than an activity that we enjoy.  I wondered how often does this actually happen where we lose sight of the enjoyment of something because it has become a requirement instead of a blessing to our spirit, soul and loved ones.  I may not be the greatest cook but I do know anything you do with love and passion goes up exponentially without it.

I have often heard women speak of sex in this manner.  When they first got married they loved it and today it is a burden or more of their wifely duties as opposed to an activity of enjoyment for them and their husband's.  I have to admit there were times when I have felt that way but thank the Lord he took care of that spirit pretty quickly. 

This has given me pause to further think about what other great activities of enjoyment I have allowed to go by the wayside.  In the meantime, I am going to enjoy honoring my husband with my passion for cooking.  It is amazing how by simply changing how we think about something we change how we feel about it.

Wives of the world how can you or do you honor your husband's with passion?  Is there anything that you used to love that now feels more like a burden?  How can you change what you think about those activities so you can also change how you feel about them?  It is such a liberating experience.  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear and learn from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"He who has no passion has no principal or motive to act." Claude A HelvTitus

"Live with passion." Anthony Robbins

Day 112 Honoring My Husband's Request

Today I felt like I was on a bus that was moving about 90 miles an hour and I just wanted to jump off without getting bruised. After my final meeting this evening, I proceeded to go home.  Bryan was in another part of town and as I drove down the road I started to get off the highway to go to where he was.  It was late and I thought I would miss him. 

Turns out that feeling I had was the Lord's way of letting me know that Bryan and I were on the same page.  I felt I needed to go to where he was because I had missed him all day.  We talked only once or twice, less than our usual so I was thinking it would be great just to spend some time outdoors before heading home.  Bryan called me right after I passed the exit leading to where he was and asked that I meet him for dinner.  It was at that moment that I realized it was the Lord that was directing me to the exit and I missed the opportunity to just go with the flow. 

Fortunately, I was in a position to still quickly get to where he was and we were able to spend some good although short quality time together.  Today I honored my husband by responding to his request which in actuality was just as much a need for me.   The lesson for me was - listen to that voice on the inside.  It is God speaking and he always knows best.  In this case, the maxim of yes was best.

Wives of the world in what ways do your or can you honor your husband's with a request?  Do you know when it is the Lord speaking to you for your husband and do you listen?  How can you honor your husband's request on today?

Blessings,

Rochelle

"It has been my repeated experience that when you said to life calmly and firmly, I trust you; do what you must, life has an uncanny way of responding to your need." Olga Llyin

Day 111 Honoring My Husband By Following Through

Today I honored my husband by following through on several commitments I have made over the past 111 days.  On day 50 I committed to good health, day 92 by greeting him with a smile, and day 108 by saying yes for a week with no attachment.  With the best of intentions I have tried to continue the good health through cooking but have fallen off the wagon a few times because of rushing.  The commitment to smile I must say is not a huge challenge for me because I typically smile.  However this yes thing I am finding quite interesting and challenging at the same time but I am truly committed to following through on each one.

I realized through the help of a coach that I need to be more purposeful in my attempt to cook healthier.  Through the coaching process I was able to rediscover my love for cooking.  I used to love the creative aspect of cooking but when I started traveling a lot and with carrying a full load in school, cooking became more a burden than fun.  Now that I have remembered what I loved so much, I have put some systems in place to recreate that feeling of creativity and I cannot wait to put them into action.

As for the smiling commitment, as I already mentioned that was not too much of a challenge.  The key has been for me to recognize when I am so engrossed in my work that I may be pleasant in my welcome it may not always be accompanied with a smile because of what I am facing.  My technique to keep it going is to remember the song by Kirk Franklin, Smile.  I cannot believe how much I play it over in my head but I have found it very rewarding for us both.

The commitment to say yes has been interesting because in only 4 days I have come to realize just how much I used to actually say no or not now.  It has been quite amazing to learn this about myself.  Saying yes has also been challenging because there were a few things that required a greater sacrifice than I would have liked but I had to follow through.  Today I am honoring my husband by following through on these few and sometimes simple commitments.   I believe they are and will continue to have a positive impact on me and our relationship.  I know Bryan is seeing the change in me and I too have seen a change in him.  It has been great to watch our subtle yet impactful change.

Wives of the world in what ways are you or do you honor your husband's by following through?  What commitments to change have you acknowledged to him that you are or are not continuing to do?  What commitments do you find especially challenging to keep?  What have you learned about yourself as you try to make a difference in your relationship?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear and learn from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results." Author Unknown

"Commitment turns a promise into reality with words that speak boldly of your intentions and actions that speak louder than words." Steve Brunkhorst

Day 110 Honoring My Husband With Awareness

What a beautiful day it was today in Maryland.  The temperature, sunshine and breeze were another one of God's great creations.  Bryan and I had hoped to spend the afternoon enjoying the outdoors. Because of our trip to the graduation we stayed on our boat last night with the intention of spending the day together.  As life goes he had several minor but very time consuming mishaps in his business and just about everything I had intended to accomplish took longer than anticipated.

To make a long story short, 7:00 PM rolled around and Bryan found himself quite exhausted so we decided to head home to prepare for church.  We were in separate cars and as I left the marina to head home it dawned on me how tired Bryan looked when he returned to the boat.  He was slumped in the chair and said he just wanted to rest the night away.  We live an hour away from the marina and I knew it would be a struggle for him to drive home.  I turned around and told him to ride with me home so he could rest and not worry about making the drive.  I could see the sense of relief in his face.  Today I honored my husband with awareness by recognizing his need to not worry about having to find the energy to drive himself home.  I honored him by being aware of his true need without him having to ask.  He later thanked me for being very appreciative of how hard he had worked that day and offering to drive him home.

Wives of the world in what ways do you or can you honor your husband with awareness?  I would like to think that I am or have always been very aware of Bryan's need in the moment but I know that has not always been the case.  I know that the Lord is using this process to help me be more aware and in tune with the needs of my mate and how He, the Lord would have me to be as a wife.  How have you changed since embarking on this journey to be the change you want to see by honoring your husband?  What are you more aware of today than before joining this movement?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear and learn from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Through awareness, you get a certain attitude.  That's the way, you see, to achieve more peaceful, more compassion, more friendship through that way."  Dalai Lama

Day 109 Honoring My Husband With Demonstration

Thank you to those of you that made notice my post on yesterday did not transmit. 

We had the pleasure of attending the high school graduation of my husband’s nephews.  After the graduation the family went to dinner and one of my nephews was accompanied by his girlfriend.  It was so nice to see their young affection for each other.    Bryan is such a comedian and made a few humorous comments about their relationship.   At one point the girlfriend made a comment about being together for the long haul and about not having someone order dinner for her.  Her words were, “We don’t do that anymore.”

At the moment she said it I responded by saying Bryan does not order my food either and then I realized, well sometimes he does.  I then began to think about how awesome it is to be with someone for many years and they know you well enough to know what you like at just about any dining establishment.  I had to recant my statement to the young lady and share that it is actually not a bad thing to have your mate know what you want well enough to order it for you after many years of togetherness.  Today I honored my husband by demonstrating how to acknowledge the little things he does that expresses love.

As I quickly pondered on this short dialog I wondered what were we teaching this young couple about love, marriage and being life mates.  Now these were two high school kids and probably both their first love.  They will be heading to two different colleges and will most likely be left with memories of each other in the years to come; nonetheless I know that we are always teaching something to those in our presence. 

My hope is that they learned it is okay for a wife to allow her husband to order for him, and what a pleasure it is to have your husband open the door for you or wait for you to allow you to enter into an establishment before him.  My hope is that they learned affection does not always have to be expressed overtly but can be very subtle, like smiling at each other, walking hand in hand, a touch of the face or sharing your meal or acknowledging the small things your mate does.  My hope is that they learned love is how you demonstrate your love to each other.  Today I honored my husband by partaking in our demonstration of love to one another.  The best part about it is we were just being us.

Wives of the world in what ways do you honor your husband’s with a demonstration?  I once read something that said “Be careful how you treat your husband, the kids are watching.”  I thought what an awesome wake-up call about what we are teaching those around us.  Bryan and I do not have kids; however I know there are many kids that watch us on a regular basis.  I hope we are teaching them the lessons God would want them to know about life and marriage.  Wives are you teaching your kids and the kids around you what God would want them to know about being married?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear and learn from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"They do not love that do not show their love." Shakespeare

Day 108 Honoring My Husband With A Yes

I just began reading an interesting book.  It is called Improv Wisdom and it lists the key principles to live a life of improv.  The first concept is "Yes."  The author suggests that by saying yes to many of life's requests we live a more fulfilled life.  She also goes on to say this does not mean simply going with the flow, but really saying yes, meaning yes and acting upon it. 

The book states that when we say no we are blocking something from the other person.  No to the author meant control.  I'm not allowing something therefore I am controlling what you get and or do. She recommends spending a week just saying yes.  I am typically not a no person.  I usually do respond with a yes however my yes may be followed with an and. For example, yes I can help you take care of the house and I will get to it by 8:00 tonight. My yes's are usually followed by a time line or a request to have an opportunity to plan.  This is somewhat contradictory to living a life of improv.

Today I honored my husband with a yes.  I have to be honest and admit it was after several yes ands.  But nonetheless I did honor him with a yes when he requested that I meet him somewhere when I was already in route to another location.  I am also going to embark on this journey and challenge to just say yes to him for a week.  I am excited and frightened at the same time as I begin to think about the possible implications, but this is what God placed on my heart today.

Wives of the world in what ways do you or can you honor your husband's with a yes?  Are you a blessing blocker by always saying no?  Does your house celebrate when you do say yes because of the infrequency or is it another day of celebration because it is more your norm?  How can you honor your husband's today with a yes?

Blessings,

Rochelle

"I imagine that yes is the only living thing." E.E. Cummings

Day 107 Honoring My Husband With Good Service

Today was not much different than most days.  I had a couple of appointments, completed some work for school and my church ministry. When it came time to write my blog, I think for the first time I was stuck.  I began to ask the Lord did I miss something today.  As I reflected on the day and asked myself, how did I honor my husband today?  We spoke several times, I shared my day with him in the evening and he shared with me but I was still stuck.  When I usually sit down to write the Lord floods me with how he used me on that day to honor my husband so here I sat trying to figure out did I miss the boat today and then the Lord spoke.

When Bryan arrived home it was late but I knew he had not eaten.  I had not cooked dinner because he asked me to meet him somewhere and I did not have the time to cook dinner beforehand.  I returned home first so when he arrived I asked if he wanted dinner. I was tired but also knew he was probably hungry so I proceeded to fix him a quick, easy but tasty summer dinner.  The Lord reminded me that I had honored my husband.  I do this so often I had forgotten that this act of service is also honoring him.  

Now that I reflect upon it, he offered to make dinner for  himself but I said no, I will take care of it.  In that moment I can recall thinking he has been working all day and this is the least I could do for my husband is make sure he is fed well since I had not prepared dinner.  I guess I can feel good that this is one area where I do not have to think about honoring him because it comes so natural to me.  Today I honored my husband with good service.

I love for Bryan to take me to dinner.  When he does I love and reward good service; however I feel the service he receives at home should always far exceed any service he gets outside the home by a stranger.  Honoring my husband with good service is my honor.

Wives of the world how do or can you honor your husband's with good service?  Does he get better service at a restaurant than he does at home?  Do you feel it is an honor for you to be of good service to your husband?  How can you honor him today with good service?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." Gandhi

Day 106 Honoring My Husband With A Warranty

I heard a great sermon today about life's purpose and the purpose of relationships by two different Pastors on Family Life Today.  I am always so amazed, pleased and fascinated when I go to the Lord with curiosity how he uses so many venues to speak to  me.  Yesterday I pondered on the question, the purpose of a partnership beyond procreation.  Today the Lord began to provide an answer and based on his answer I am honoring my husband today with a warranty.

One of the Pastor's I heard was Dr. Tony Evans and he spoke about how God leads us to our divine purpose and he used the analogy of purchasing a product with a warranty.  He shared how the purpose of a warranty is to get a product back in proper working order if it malfunctions.  He also stated that the warranty is only good if you use the product according to its intended purpose.  He related this to how we as Christians have a built in warranty from the Lord but it is only good if we use the product, ourselves, according to our intended purpose.  He went on to share that our most important purpose is to seek the Lord with all our heart as quoted in Deuteronomy.  He proceeded to say only if we are willing to function in God's purpose (individually and collectively) will we find our purpose.  This sermon was a reminder that our first purpose is to seek the Lord together as a couple, hence the threefold cord and this will lead us to our God intended purpose for our marriage.

The sermon also had me thinking about how well I am using myself (the product) as God has intended as a wife as well as how we are using our marriage as God intended.  I know that I can go to the Lord with anything and he will fix it and or me so I know I am covered by his warranty.  Today I am honoring my husband with a warranty because I know even with the assignment, process, blessing and challenge of honoring him each and every day I still malfunction.  With the best of intentions at hand, I know that I sometimes come up short according to God's intended purpose for a wife.   Today I am honoring my husband with a warranty as an acknowledgement of malfunctions to come, and with the assurance that the Lord will get me right back in operable order according to his will just as long as we stay in constant communication with him.

Wives of the world in what ways do you are can you honor your husband's with a warranty?  Are you using yourself according to God's intended purpose for a wife?  Are you willing to function according to the Lord as a wife?  How do you feel about submitting and honoring your husband as the Lord commands?  The answer to these questions will give you indication on how well you are using the product (yourself) according to God's intended purpose.  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you and learn in what way's we all can be better wives according to God's intended purpose.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul." Deut. 4:29

"To find the Lord's will find the Lord." Dr. Tony Evans