Day 295 Honoring My Husband's Work Ethics

The journey to feeling valued
 for men and woman is to be
 honored by being served.

Today was an exciting day for me because I completed almost all of my Christmas shopping.  Yet it was almost ruined by my extended trip home.  It was a long, fulfilling yet tiring day and I was looking forward to getting home to relax my legs.  Bryan and I chatted and I shared with him that I had forgotten to take out what I had planned to cook for dinner.   He simply stated "It doesn't matter I will grab whatever we have, I'm sure I can throw something together." 

My first thought was that of relief but then I quickly remembered that he had quite an early start this morning and I know it was a very busy day for him.  Having a good dinner to Bryan is just as meaningful to him, as it is for me when he drives me around.  With that in mind I decided I wanted to honor my husband's work ethics by not providing a dinner he would just be okay with but one that he would truly enjoy.  In my quest to accomplish this task I found my directionally challenged self off the path home and ended up adding an additional 30 minutes to my trip. This was with my GPS best friend. Normally when I get off my directional path I consider myself  to be exploring however, this evening I was a little perturbed because I wanted to get home to cook this great meal.

I am one that believes in the power of energy.  I began to think about the negative energy I was carrying and thought I did not want that to be a part of the meal I was planning to prepare.  I decided to choose to change my thoughts which changed how I was feeling and began to enjoy my extended journey.  As I began to enjoy my exploring I realized I was in a path of some very beautiful Christmas decorations, which I love.  My trip turned into an exploration of how the community expressed their celebration of Christ's birth.  When I arrived home and cooked I know it was filled with Jesus joy and good positive energy because that is what I was feeling and what we feel goes into what we do. 

Wives of the world how can you honor your husband's work ethics?  What is something you do that makes him feel special?  Many people say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I think those that believe this is only partially correct.  I believe the path is not his stomach it is the feeling of being honored through the process of being served that they love.  The food is simply the vehicle to the journey.  How can you honor your husband's work ethics today?

Blessings,

Rochelle

"For even the Son of man did not come to be served, but to serve,
and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45 

Day 294 Honoring My Husband With Sweet Treats

Today I am grateful that we serve a Lord that is so forgiving and gives us grace and mercy with the big and small things.  Yesterday I was quite busy and did not realize until today that I actually missed publishing my post.  As I sat down to prepare for this days post I was feeling pretty guilty until the Lord spoke.  What I realized was that all though I may miss a consecutive day it does not mean I have lost sight of my journey; it simply means the next day continues the sequence.  I also realized that this actually benefits my husband because the number of days of honoring him will be well beyond 365 because of the few days I have missed.  I am just thanking God for giving me grace.

Today I honored my husband with sweet treats.  I took a trip to Hershey and had the opportunity to shop in their company store.  I was like a kid in a candy store.  Bryan's favorite chocolate bar is Reese's so I stocked up on them for him. I could not believe the variety of Reese's they had in the store and I was sure to buy his favorite and things I did not think he had ever tried. He was quite grateful when I presented them to him.  I was fortunate enough to purchase enough chocolate to make gift baskets for my nieces and nephews for Christmas.   I look forward to seeing their faces when they get the goodies, as I am sure they will be filled with smiles as Bryan's was this evening. 

Later in the evening he remembered that I had received a package in the mail from one of my very best friends from Chicago.  She sent me a large can of my favorite popcorn. Garrett's caramel and cheese mix.  If you have never tasted Garrett's popcorn, do not die and go to heaven without trying it.  It is the absolute best popcorn I have ever tasted; you can go to http://www.garrettpopcorn.com/ to purchase a bag or tin and do not blame me when you become addicted.  My first thought when I opened the box was, how cool ii is when the Lord reciprocates our giving. I honored Bryan with sweet treats and in return received my favorite sweet treat on the same day.  I do not believe in coincidences and know it was only a blessing from God. 

Wives of the world how do you or can you honor your husband with sweet treats?  Today was a reminder to me that it is always better to give than to receive and when we do how God always returns our giving twofold.  How can you honor your husband with sweet treats today?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.
Blessings,

Rochelle

"Nothing says I love you like your favorite sweet treat." RAS

Day 293 Honoring My Husband With Remodeling



Your own work space allows you to
feel more at home.

 When we purchased our home several years ago the plan was that my office would be on the main floor and Bryan's would be on the lower level.  He started working on it about 8 years ago but never finished.  About three years ago I decided I wanted a theatre room so I had to move all our storage items from one room to what was supposed to be Bryan's office.  I had committed to it being a temporary fix until I could figure out the best location for the items. 

Well in my quest to serve in the capacity of full time wife, one of the duties on my to do list was to get his office in order.  He has several files for all three of his entities and often uses my office for his work, which I am not to crazy about because we have different housekeeping standards.  Today I honored my husband with remodeling. I spent several hours removing all the old items and finally had the time to take the time to sort through everything.  To my amazement there were quite a bit of items the only home I need to find was the nearest Goodwill store.  I could not believe how much stuff we had transported from our old house that we have absolutely no need for today yet I am very pleased to clear the clutter.

Although the room is ready for a total remodel it will require some more work before I can paint and move the furniture.  Nonetheless based on the amount of time I spent preparing it for its new look I think it is warranted to honor him today with remodeling.  The remainder of the work will be the easy part.

Wives of the world how have you or can you honor your husband with remodeling?  Is there a place he has been wanting in the home just for him but time, resources and opportunity has not presented itself.  My brother is the best carpenter I know so I reached out to him to get instructions on how to take care some of the finishing work and he volunteered to come down from New Jersey for a day this week to help me surprise Bryan with his new office.  I could not be happier.  This will be another one of those great win, win situations.  I get to do some decorating, Bryan will have his own office and I will have mine back and all to myself.  Life will be grand.  How can you honor your husband with remodeling on today?  Sometimes a simple change in a room layout can make all the difference in the world.  Please remember to share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Nothing says home like having  your own space in it." RAS

Day 292 Honoring My Husband With Leadership

Leading by faith is like having angels
carry the load so we walk a little
lighter and see our way to the end.

Today my pastor preached an awesome sermon about believing God's word.  The topic was called  "Making Do" and it was about being financially savvy in these economic times and believing no matter your circumstances that God will bring you through.  He spoke out of the book of Luke chapter 2 and told the story of Mary and Joseph making do when they had to sleep in a barn and turn the barn into a manger for baby Jesus.  He mentioned how both Joseph and Mary had to display leadership by not complaining about where they were sleeping but turning it into what would work for them at that time.  Today I am honoring my husband with leadership.

During the sermon he mentioned how at times we can forget all about the many times God has brought us through a situation and begin to complain about our current situation not realizing that complaining gets in the way of focusing on the solution to whatever challenge we may be facing.  He stated that during these times, someone in the household have to serve in the leadership capacity by believing that no matter how bleak the situation looks God will make a way out of no way.  He said if you are the stronger believer, than you simply say, I know God will do this for us and more importantly I know he will do it for me.  I had a huge smile on my face when he shared this because there have been many of times those were my exact words to Bryan.

Today I am honoring my husband with leadership by continuing to believe that whatever comes our way, the Lord will surely bring us through and by reminding him of how we continue to be blessed beyond our expectations.    I especially believe that the Lord will bring our desire to be parents to pass.  As I have said before, I don't know how, I don't know when but I know who.  Jesus will surely keep his promise.

Wives of the world how can you or do you honor your husband's with leadership?  When it comes to challenging times are you part of the solution or part of the problem?  Are you the complainer or the believer?  Are you the encourager or the doubter?  One thing I have come to know for sure, if God says it, he means it and he will do it.  If you are on the negative side of the coin during challenging times, how can you honor your husband with leadership by becoming a part of the solution and put your faith to action by demonstrating your belief in what Jesus will and can do?  How can you honor your husband with leadership today?

Blessings,

Rochelle

"The LORD, before whom I have walked faithfully, will send his angel with you and make your journey a success.." Genesis 24:40

Day 291 Honoring My Husband With Quiet Time

Yesterday and today were very busy days for Bryan and me.  Yesterday I worked on getting items ready for a flea market I decided to partake in and he had his somewhat usual day of taking care of unexpected business events.  When it was all said and done today I found myself wanting to just totally unwind and then thought Bryan would probably want to do the same.  So today I honored my husband with quiet time.

I decided I wanted to create the feeling of being away at a nice cafe.  I fixed a cheese, grapes and crackers platter.  Made us two hot cups of tea, we both love tea. Turned off the TV so we could have some quiet time to just talk and be with each other and added the pleasant sounds of soft jazz music.
When Bryan came home he was a little taken back, it has been a long time since I've had time and opportunity to create such an atmosphere.  We spent a little over an hour discussing several topics before getting dinner.  Today I honored my husband with some quiet time and afforded us both an opportunity to just be.

Wives of the world how can you or do you honor your husband with quiet time?  How do you allow each other to simply enjoy each other's company without the distraction of TV, children, work or home chores?  How can you honor your husband with quiet time today? 

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 290 Honoring My Husband's Recommendation

Two brains are always better than one.

These past few weeks have been really interesting to me.  It seems I had less of a challenge getting my  blog written while I was in school.  Since finishing school and now trying to accomplish my to do list, I am more challenged to stay up late and get it done.  I've always heard the more you have to do the more you get done, think that is what I am experiencing.  Nonetheless I'm hanging in there.  The other night I literally fell asleep on top of my laptop in the middle of my posting.  I think I need to work on the timing of my postings.  Well on Thursday I honored my husband by taking heed to his recommendation.

I have a meeting scheduled next week and the drive is about 90 minutes from home.  I had the opportunity to go the night before but turned it down.  When I shared this with Bryan he gave me several reasons why I should consider changing my plan and go the evening prior.  His reasons were that I would not have to worry about dealing with traffic, I would know exactly where I am going because I can map it out,  and I can get an idea of the community and how I like it.  I also realized I would be more relaxed during the meeting than if I drove that morning.  So I took his recommendation and changed my plans so I could be there the night before.  I felt more relaxed about it the moment I made the change.  It is so great to have a spouse that can help you process things from a different perspective.

Wives of the world how can you or do you honor your husband's recommendations?   There was a time Bryan would offer me recommendations that I initially thought were way out of alignment with what I was thinking.  However history has taught me  that because his lens is so different than mine his perspective was always in what I call my blind area.  Today I am very appreciative of our different perspectives because together our lens allows us to see the whole picture.  How can you honor your husband's recommendations today?

Blessings,

Rochelle

"When weighing options, a loving spouse can be a window into the blind spots of our thinking." RAS

Day 289 Honoring My Husband With Coaching

Coaching allows one to see
with a new set of eyes.

 Yesterday Bryan was somewhat disturbed by some news he had received from a colleague.  As we discussed it I could tell it really impacted him and he had a sense of despair thinking about how the situation that impacted his colleague could also impact him.  I immediately began to remind him of how his situation was quite different than this colleague but I knew my words were falling on deaf ears.  At moments like this I do what I believe is the best thing to do which is pray and serve as a coach so the person can find their own answer.  It is staying in a place of curiosity and removing ourselves from the outcome which can be challenging when it is your loved one you are coaching.  Today I honored my husband with coaching.

As we continued the conversation I switched my mode from the encouraging wife to the life coach partner.  I asked questions like, what can you do so you do not experience the same situation in your business, how has God led you to handle such situations in the past and what would be a comfortable resolution.  At the time he could not think of any answers.  This morning as I prayed I began by asking the Lord to help Bryan find a way to address this business concern he had.  Because I am not keenly aware of all the nuances and possibilities of this aspect of his business, I could not offer any suggestions. 

A little later in the day when I spoke with him he shared how he was going to address it.  All I could say was thank you Jesus.  He began to share answers to the questions I had asked the night prior.  This taught me a very valuable lesson.  I initially thought my questions were of no value in helping him and then realized that sometimes people just need time to think through to the solutions.  I truly felt the Lord heard my prayer and removed Bryan's despair to get him to a place of seeing possibilities.  Today I honored my husband with coaching and with some help from the Lord he was able to find a solution to something that initially looked hopeless.

Wives of the world how can you honor your husband with coaching?  Where is he stuck?  How can you, by serving in the role of coach instead of wife, help him to find the answers to something he is currently facing but do not see a resolution?  How can you honor him with coaching today? Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"I have no special talents, I am only passionately curious." Albert Einstein

Day 288 Honoring My Husband With A Confirmation

I just absolutely love it when the Lord provides insight and blessings with a threefold confirmation.    Since last week the Lord has provided several reminders about his promise to me about children.  Today I watched the 700 Club and there was this awesome story about a couple who had experienced several miscarriages and was told their most recent pregnancy was not going to go full term because the doctor could not hear a heartbeat.  After much prayer and while in the hospital to have what they thought to be their still born child; the husband asked for one last sonogram.  To every one's amazement there was a heartbeat and 7 months later they had a little girl.  The story brought me to tears.

I was about to turn the TV off when Pat, one of the anchors asked to join them in prayer.  I really wanted to move forward with my chores for the day but something told me to stop and join them in prayer, so I did.  They began to pray and were praying for several things I understood but could not relate to and then the female co-anchor began to pray for all the women who are experiencing fertility challenges.  She spoke about God's promise and having faith that God will bring it to pass for everyone under the hearing of her voice.  I knew at that moment why "God" told me to listen and partake in the prayer.  It was one more reminder of his promise to Bryan and me . I could not wait to share it with him.   Today I am honoring my husband with a confirmation from the Lord.

I believe that things typically happen in threes and I believe this because it is often representative of the trinity, God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.  God has used three different forums on three different occasions to remind me of his forthcoming blessing.  I am honoring my husband with a confirmation that the Lord is as sure as his word and just as I have said on many occasions, including yesterday, I don't know how, I don't know when but I know who which is good enough for me.  I believe God at his word, I know Jesus is interceding on my behalf and I believe the Holy Spirit will guide me and my faith until it comes to pass. 

Wives of the world how can you honor your husband with a confirmation? What has the Lord confirmed for you lately that has brought joy to you and will bring joy to your husband?  How can you honor him with a confirmation on today?

Blessings,

Rochelle

"I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” Genesis 28:15

Day 287 Honoring My Husband By Recommitting

The past week has been quite spiritually and emotionally fulfilling for me.  Last week we had revival at church Monday - Wednesday.  One of the pastor's that preached used a credo that I used to use on a regular base for many years.  It is "I don't know when, I don't know how, but I know who."  This was my faith testimony about everything I believed God was going to do.  When he used these words the Lord reminded or more like convicted me about getting away from believing Him when it came to getting pregnant. At one time my faith was so strong that God was going to bless us with a child of our own that when people visited our home I would tell them one of the rooms is my daughter's room.  I would even tell them her name; it is Heaven because she will be God's gift to us from Him. I have a closet where I have stowed away clothing, gifts and other baby items I have purchased for when God performs this miraculous blessing. 

This past Sunday as I sat in church enjoying the worship service I looked around and realized I was surrounded by babies.  I could hear crying, giggles and baby noises in every direction.  My heart was filled with joy and sadness at the same time and I said to God, Lord I want to hold on to your promise but age and time are getting the best of me.  My heart got very heavy and I just said Lord when.  When my Pastor got up to speak he used the story of Abraham and Sarah to talk about how God does what he says he will do.  I shared on yesterday my desire because I think my heart was just too heavy to unload all of what I was feeling during the service.  I almost could not contain myself as he spoke about holding on to God's promise and our dreams and when he reminded us that Sarah was 90 when she gave birth I knew it was the Lord's reassuring me.

This was of huge significance to me because God has been using the story of Abraham and Sarah with me and Bryan for many years in terms of children.  So much so that at one point Bryan and I were at two different churches and when we came home that evening to talk about the service we realized that both preachers talked about Abraham and Sarah and this was on the heels of a discussion we had only two days prior.  We knew the messages were not a coincidence.  Today I am honoring my husband by recommitting my faith and unwavering belief in Jesus and that the Lord will do what he said he will do. 

Bryan and I had to drive two different cars to church on Sunday.  I arrived before him and realized I did not have my phone so I could not text him to let him know where I was sitting.  We have a huge church that sits close to 5,000 people so I did not see him nor did he see me even though we both sat in the area where we typically sit.  While the pastor was preaching I was so yearning for Bryan's presence as I felt my pastor was speaking to me and I took notes feverishly so I could share all the details with him. I thought he may have decided to visit another church or got caught up with errands.  To my surprise at the end of the service as he was leaving we saw each other.  He came over and gave me a huge hug because we both knew the Lord was speaking to us.

Today I am honoring my husband by recommitting my faith, standing on God's promise, believing him at his word, knowing what he promised will come to pass and allowing my faith and not life's facts to guide the way.  As I have so often said, "I don't know how, I don't know when, but I know who" and that is all that matters. 

Wives of the world how can you honor your husband by recommitting?  What is it that you have let go of or your faith has wavered that you need to recommit to?  There have been many situations where things have looked bleak and the only thing I had to stand on was faith, so that is what I did and every time, every single situation the Lord came through.  The one thing I remember about each and every one of those situations is that I held on to the Lord's word,  "The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry," and "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken." Psalm 34:15 & 55:22 respectively.  I knew if I walked in faith God would give me a testimony as he always did and I know he always will. How can you honor your husband by recommitting your faith today?

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 

in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Prov. 3: 5-6

Day 286 Honoring My Husband With A Desire

Today was an awesome day in church.  My pastor preached about believing God will do what he said he will do.  He noted  how God keeps his promises and we are to hold on to our desires if God has told us  he will do what we've asked to fulfill our desires.  On today I honored my husband with a desire for our love and life together.


My desire is that we stay in love and to passionately and fearlessly listen to our hearts.
To be thoughtful and generous to each other.  To believe in our love at every sight.
To hold hands and laugh uncontrollably. To write each other love letters and make gifts.
To get dressed up for dates, I love getting dressed up.  To feel butterflies in our stomach when we touch.
To want to run away together and stay in bed all day.
To create memories we will enjoy telling our children and grandchildren because that is God's promised.
To always learn from each other and be patient and kind with our words to one another.
To grow very old together, be spontaneous, impulsive and indulgent in our love.
To kiss each other goodnight and at every first sight.  To remember why we fell in love and;
to live happily ever after.

Today I am honoring my husband with a desire by making it plain and clear to the Lord.  As the Psalmist says may he give you the desires of your heart and make all your plans succeed.   If marriage is God's design than how can he not make my desires come true.

Wives of the world how can you honor your husband with a desire?  I remember when I was young, I would take my desires to the Lord in prayer and by wishing upon a star.  Today I know God fulfills desires and I look upon the stars as His watchful eyes over us at night. What promise has the Lord made to you that you are waiting to be fulfilled?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed." Psalms 20:4

Day 285 Honoring My Husband With Curiosity

The other day while grocery shopping I noticed this month's Essence magazine had blazoned on the cover, "The Secret To Black Love, Real Couples, Real Solutions."  So of course I had to purchase it.  Then on today while teaching at church, someone had a local magazine called "Grace & Glory".  While perusing through it I noticed an article titled "Love Unlimited" so I found a copy I could bring home.  Both of these magazine articles raised my curiosity about their contents.  Being and African American couple, I was especially intrigued by the Essence article and very curious as to whether or not it would contain any secrets that are specifically for Black couples that may not apply to others.  Today I honored my husband with curiosity in the hopes I would learn something new in the pages of either or both articles.

After reading both articles I was somewhat excited, a little disappointed but mostly I think I felt validated.  I enjoyed the contents of both. The Essence article that stated secrets to black love I discovered was really an article about how important it is to have effective communication, clear expectations, ongoing shared activities, and a high degree of commitment and sharing of life experiences to keep love alive.  To me these secrets are not just for African American or Black couples  but for any couple that wants to have lasting love.

The Grace & Glory article focused on the importance of loving each other as God loves us.  One of the things stated in the article was "You cannot surpass God's love but it does not hurt to try" I loved this little nugget.  The author went on to say, "Give love, the gift that keeps on giving, and  you and the recipient will not be disappointed."  The article was written by Carla J. Debnam who is the wife of a Pastor I know very well.  My thoughts after reading her article was, well done and well said.  She spoke about how God's love is not limited and how we are to show love in action by not having limits.

Today I honored my husband with curiosity, mainly because my curiosity led me on a journey to discover some great secret or to find love unlimited.  I am happy that as a result of reading both articles I felt I am on the right path, have activated the recommended secrets, and to try to love like Jesus in all my relationships.  It was a nice validation.

Wives of the world how can you honor your husband's with curiosity?  What things do you have questions about in your relationship or other areas that a little curious research can solve?  How can you honor your husband with curiosity today?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Curiosity is the lust of the mind." Thomas Hobbes

Day 284 Honoring My Husband With An Embrace

An embrace says more
than a million words.

Today I am honoring my husband with an embrace.  You may recall I shared about the benefits of  the  one minute hug. Well a picture is worth a thousand words.  Someone captured a moment of Bryan and I during my closing ceremony at school.  It was the embrace we shared after I publicly acknowledged  him (Day 273) and his support during my journey through school.  I mentioned how I believed I made several deposits into his emotional bank and this picture is my evidence of how he received that message.  Today I am honoring my husband with an embrace in remembrance of the importance and impact emotional deposits have on one's spirit.

Wives of the world how can you honor your husband with an embrace?  Remember the one minute hug is a way to keep the emotional bank on full and when you add the blessing of a public acknowledgement there's no doubt you will see the evidence of the impact through the embrace of your spouse.  How can you honor your husband with an embrace today?  Please share your stories with us we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"The embrace of a hug speaks the love language of life." RAS

Day 283 Honoring My Husband With Advent

Joy, Hope, Peace and Love,
God's gift to us and our relationships.

Today as I was reading one of my favorite devotionals, Our Daily Bread it talked about the season of advent which began this past Sunday.  It is my favorite time of year where we gear up to celebrate the birth of Christ.  I was reminded that Advent is marked by a spirit of expectation, of anticipation, of preparation and of longing.  It talked about how hope, peace joy and love are emphasized during this time.  As I read more about each of these blessings from God I thought how different life would be if we celebrated advent every day throughout the year in our marriage. Today I am honoring my husband with Advent. 

Our Daily Bread described the following:

HOPE. We have an inheritance reserved in heaven, a living hope through the resurrection of Christ from the dead (1 Peter 1:3-5).  How would we see things if we addressed our marital challenges through the lens of hope every day?  How much lighter our hearts would be?

PEACE. We will love life and see good days if we turn from evil and do good and if we seek peace, for the Lord watches over the righteous and hears their prayers (3:10-12).  How much more pleasant would we be if we constantly walked in peace which allows our energy to be calming presence?

JOY. We have inexpressible joy even though we have trials because our faith is being tested and proven genuine. The end of this faith is the salvation of our souls (1:6-9).  How much less anxiety would we experience if we truly trusted God by activating from the moment we arise in the morning till the time we lay for rest?

LOVE. We can love one another with a pure heart because we have been born again through the Word of God which lives and abides forever (1:22-23).  How different would we experience our marriage if our spouses experienced our love as unconditional every moment of every day?

Because Christ came the first time, we can live with hope, peace, joy, and love till He comes again.  We can live this way every day in every way if we choose to live the season of advent everyday.

Today I am honoring my husband with advent.  It is my favorite time of the year where it seems everyone is filled with joy and peace.  I am honoring my husband with advent as a reminder that Christ's birth was intended for us to experience hope, peace, joy and love to the extreme not only in our daily walk but in our life's relationships, especially marriage.  I am honoring my husband with Advent as I continue to experience the spirit of expectation, anticipation, preparation and of longing for how God will continue to move our marriage to another level of glory.  I am excited about what he is doing, will do and has already done. 

Wives of the world how can you honor your husband with Advent?  What are you expecting, anticipating, preparing and longing for the Lord to do in your marriage?  How can you honor your husband with Advent today?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"If you’re looking for more hope, peace, joy, and love in your marriage, look to God."

Day 282 Honoring My Husband With Koinonia

In my quest today to learn just a little more about relationships I was fumbling through the book Experiencing God Together by Henry T. & Melvin D. Blackaby.  I came across a chapter entitled Koinonia God's Love Expressed, Experiencing God's Love Together in Life.  I was intrigued by the chapter because I teach the concept of Koinonia during leadership school and I wanted to know how they use it in the context of relationships.  After reviewing their explanation I realized it is what I want for Bryan and me so today I am honoring him with koinonia.

Koinonia is a Greek word used in the New Testament and is usually translated as fellowship and means the practical expression of God's love toward His people.  However I learned from the authors that it is also translated to mean partnership, sharing and even stewardship.  Koinonia is where God's love is manifest in real life.  The authors describe it as agape love in action and the essence of God's great salvation.  I had never referred to it in quite that context.  They go on to state that when it is applied to God's relationship with His people it takes on a much greater significance.  It means we become partners with God and nothing is withheld in true partnerships.  They also state that sharing is the release of everything there is in you to the one with whom you are sharing.  This is why I am honoring my husband with Koinonia.

Learning about koinonia in this context had me thinking about the practical ways I demonstrate love to Bryan and I remembered a fun exchange we used to do when we were dating.  We had a contest with each other to see who could come up with the best dates.  For a few months we alternated planning our dates for Saturday night and we rated the evening on a scale of one to ten as it related to fun.  I do not remember which of us actually won but I do remember how much fun we had along the way.  We each engaged in activities we had never experienced like ice skating, and mountain climbing.  Today I am honoring my husband with koinonia and agape love in action by re-implementing our dating challenge.  I cannot wait to see what we come up with.  Stay tuned to hear more.

Wives of the world how can  you honor your husband with koinonia?  In what practical ways can you express agape love to your mate?  Feel free to tag along with us on our dating challenge and please remember to share your stories with us we would love to hear from you?

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 281 Honoring My Husband With Structure

Monday was the first day of serving in the sole role of wife.  I could not believe how exhausted I was at  the end of the day.  I spent the day washing and folding clothes, my least favorite task, and laying the foundation for the remaining weeks.  I am usually a person of spontaneity however I have learned there are great benefits to having a little structure.  One of the things Bryan complained about while I was in school was how often we had chicken for dinner.  He loves chicken but got a little tired of it after eating so many chicken meals. Because of this, today I honored my husband with structure.

I used to create menus for the week and had gotten away from that quite a while ago when I started school. Although my coach helped me rediscover my love for cooking, time just did not allow for the diligence of establishing weekly menus.  Today I honored my husband with structure by putting that task back in effect.  He used to enjoy knowing ahead of time what would be for dinner and would look forward to it.   I like the idea of having a menu because I remember how easy it was to go shopping, how much money I saved, how we had less waste as a result and how much more healthier I cooked.  We had more variation in our meals because I was intentional about cooking something different each evening.  It also allows me to use my mental capacity in other ways throughout the week and not worry about what to cook for dinner each night which at times was exhausting itself. 

Wives of the world how do you or can you honor your husbands with structure?  Bryan would say of the two of us he is the more structured person, I say it depends.  He is the more routine person because I love variety yet I think I am the more structured person even though I only prefer a little of it.  Who is the more structured person in your relationship?  In what ways will honoring your husband with structure make your life or his life a little easier?  How can you honor him with structure on today?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Many say variety is the spice of life, sometimes to get variety one has to indulge in a little structure." RAS

Day 280 Honoring My Husband With Implementation

School is over, we are back from a very nice vacation and my journey to serve in the capacity of wife and homemaker begins.  I have been planning and outlining what I believe needs to be taken care of  as well as making inquiries from Bryan and the Lord.  My plan looks more like a list of honey do's instead of what I thought it might look like.  Nonetheless today I am honoring my husband with implementation of this plan.

I was really surprised today as we headed home and I realized that once I got home there was no studying to be done, no papers to write, no client project to work on or no deadlines to meet.  I must admit at first I wondered how do I reframe my current status into a role that feels acceptable, validating, fulfilling and challenging for me.  While we were on vacation someone asked me what did I do and I said I am a consultant and housewife and he said so you are a domestic engineer.  My first response was well if that works for you and then I realized, it doesn't work for me. 

Domestic engineer sounds like a technical word for housekeeper and I believe anyone who takes care of their husband, home, children and family things are far more than a housekeeper.  I have yet to identify what word or words work for me, so in the meantime, wife works because it covers so much territory.  Now you can see why I am doing a survey.  I really need to figure this out pretty soon.  Today I am honoring my husband with implementation because my new journey begins now.


Wives of the world how do you or can you honor your husband with implementation?  Is there something you need to start but have been holding off?  I was listening to the WORD Network today and was surprised when I heard T.D. Jakes, followed by Joyce Meyers and then my Pastor all speaking about moving forward with what you believe God has given you.  Talk about a validation. Jake's stated to be relentless with passion, Meyers stated to reach beyond your fears and my Pastor stated in whatever we do, we are covered.  That being said I am moving forward with implementation of having the role of wife and will let the Lord guide this journey.  I submit to you to follow your heart and trust God all the way.   I believe implementing something that will make you a happier person is a way to honor your husband's love for you and his desire for your happiness.  Honoring our husband's does not always have to mean we are doing something for them, sometimes it means doing something for yourself.  How can you honor your husband with implementation today? 

By the way, please stay tuned for the questionnaire as I am still fine tuning it to keep it as short as possible.

Blessings,

Rochelle

 "Every beginning starts with an ending." William Bridges

Day 279 Honoring My Husband With Recreation

When Bryan and I decided to take the family on vacation for some reason we both thought we were  heading into very cold climate.  Probably because we knew we would be in the mountains but we had forgotten we were traveling south so it was a nice surprise when the weather in the Shenandoah Valley has been in the mid to high 60's since we've been here.

Today was yet another opportunity to honor my husband with the shoulder to shoulder friendship he so desires.  We don't always get the opportunity to exercise together and today we did, spent time relaxing in the whirlpool and swimming pool and then had a great dinner.  It was the kind of day that I love to have while on vacation.  For me whenever we are on vacation, every day feels like a date.  We typically do not have to worry about who's going to drive and when we do he will do all the driving so I feel special every day.  We get to plan the activities we are going to do or not going to do.  What I love most is that we get to determine how we are going to spend our time together instead of wondering how much time we will have together in a 24 hour period. 

Today I honored my husband with recreation by just having fun together and honoring both our need for shoulder to shoulder friendship and closing out the day with his need for the S in C.H.A.I.R.S.  If you don't remember what the S is, shame, shame, shame.  You can find the answer on Day 207. 

Wives of the world how do you or can you honor your husband with recreation?  While we were going about our day it dawned on me that if I want to have this experience on a more regular base, I just need to plan it and let Bryan know.  He is wonderful about ensuring we get the time together both he and I believe is needed.  I love it when the day is filled with emotional deposits into both of our accounts.  How can you honor your husband with recreation today?

Blessings,

Rochelle

"If bread is the first necessity of life, recreation is a close second." Edward Bellamy

Day 278 Honoring My Husband With Respite

Today was one of the best days I have had all year.  After a wonderful thanksgiving day filled with love, great food and fun, Bryan and I spent the day today shoulder to shoulder watching TV movies.  He spent Thanksgiving afternoon hanging out with our nephews playing basketball and pulled a hamstring muscle.  I think he forgot he's not the 20 something basketball star he used to be.  Nonetheless to recover from the activity we just lounged around in our PJ's until we got hungry.  Today I honored my husband with respite.

It has been quite a while since I have had the opportunity to spend that kind of time in front of a TV without a book, my computer or a paper in my hand.  It felt really good and he truly enjoyed it as well.  To our amazement when we did get up his leg was all better and he was able to walk again without pain.  Today I honored my husband with respite by allowing myself to just be.  It was a great moment of honoring my husband's need for shoulder to shoulder friendship.

Wives of the world how can you or do you honor your husband with respite?  Please share your stories with us we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"A day of respite is rejuvenation for the mind, body and spirit." RAS

Day 277 Honoring My Husband With Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving Day! 

Today was such a blessed day and a reminder about all the things I am grateful and thankful to have in my life. We celebrated today with both of our immediate families thanks to Bryan and his brilliant idea to spend our vacation and the holiday with the family. We had a few hiccups with our reservations when we checked in but in the end it all worked out.

Today I am honoring my husband thanksgiving because I am thankful for his idea. I am thankful for the opportunity to spend quality time with our families. I am thankful that we are able to have some downtime and I am thankfulthe Lord allowed us all to arrive safely, blessed us with a tremendous meal and allowed us to enjoy each other's company.

What has been so awesome about this time away is that we ran into some of our close friends and was able to enjoy their company as well and I got to honor my husband with relationship by watching the game with him. It has been a great blessing of a day.

Wives of the world how can you or did you honor your husband with thanksgiving? Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear and learn from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Give thanks to the Lord, for all things great and small."

Day 275 Honoring My Husband With A Plan

Write a plan and make it plain.

I cannot believe that I have less than one hundred days to go on this journey and at the same time I am very well aware that I am not done learning yet.  I made the commitment a couple of months ago to spend the month of December with no other major responsibilities except to be a wife.  It will be the first time since our marriage that I will have the opportunity to dedicate my time in such a way.  As I noted before I am excited and also a little nervous about what this might mean and what my husband will expect.  Nonetheless I am proceeding forward.  Today I honored my husband with a plan by preparing for this journey.

To prepare I have been asking him what are some of the most important things I can do to help him with his business or other things on his plate.  I have laid out a plan to get some things at home in order that are more of a concern for me than him like his closet.  I have also done some research on property management software.  My husband has over 50 property units that he manage and I have no idea how he keeps all that in his head.  I mentioned before about his phenomenal memory yet I know technology will be a huge relief for him and me.  Along with all this I am in the process of developing the survey I mentioned to get perspective from all of you about what it means to be a wife.

Today I honored my husband by laying out the plan to meet my commitment to eliminate or minimize all other duties, roles and responsibilities for the month of December to be a full time wife.

Wives of the world how can you honor your husband with a plan?  Is there something you have committed to do but have been putting it off because you have not laid out a plan?  When I initially had the thought to be a full time wife for the full month of December, I had a lot of curiosity about what that might look like.   In the absence of clarity I did what I do best, lay out a plan.  Sometimes a plan is all we need to move in the direction of where we are trying to go.  How can you honor your husband with a plan today?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"For lack of vision my people perish."