Day 195 Honoring My Husband With Progress

Listening with the heart brightens
the conversation.

 Today I am really proud of myself.  The Lord revealed to me an area where I have made great progress and  I am so excited about it.  Way back on day 15 I wrote about honoring my husband through listening.  That was back on the first of March.  I shared how the Lord convicted me when Bryan was talking to me and I was multi-tasking.  I also shared about the concept of listening for the "Gold".  Well today I am honoring my husband with my progress.

Since that time I have been working really hard to listen for the "Gold" when he is sharing something with me.  I created an acronym for the Gold called God's Opportunity Leading to Destiny.  The reason why I am honoring my husband with progress today is because I recognized how far I have come with listening.  Today when Bryan called me I was in the middle of my school practicum project.  I was just really getting into a groove and felt I finally lost my writer's block.  So when the phone rang I twitched because I did not want to stop, however I always check to see if it is Bryan calling and it was.  I not only answered but I stopped and walked away from what I was doing so he would have my full attention. 

Now to some of you that might not be a big deal, but to me it was major because I am the ultimate multi-tasker.  I had learned not to do so when he was in my presence but I had not realized that just by practicing the technique of listening for the Gold it has become just a part of how I do things.  I was so excited and smiled on the inside and just said thank you Jesus.  One of the great revelations I had was that when I listen for the Gold, I am not listening with my ears but I am listening with my heart.  When I listen with my heart I hear the story behind the emotions.  I hear his heart which brings me much joy.  Then I realized this was probably why I did not get too angry on Monday when I felt he hijacked my evening. I listened to his explanation with my heart and could hear his sincerity.

Wow! I am truly ecstatic because I began this journey to be the change I want to see and it is so cool to really experience myself in a different way and to see how it is positively impacting our marriage. I know my husband feels more heard than ever because he has shared that with me.  In Timothy the Lord says to be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress.  I am grateful my diligence is paying off.

Wives of the world in what ways can you honor your husband's with progress?  Since being on this journey what major changes have you noticed in yourself that has translated into your marriage?  If you are still challenged to listen for the "Gold" try listening with your heart and see what happens.  I think you will be amazed at the transformation in you and your relationship.  Please be sure to share your stories with us; we would live to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Don't wait until everything is just right.  It will never be perfect.  There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions.  So what. Get started now.  With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful."

Mark Victor Hansen

 

Day 194 Honoring My Husband's Friendship

I am so glad that the Lord forgives us and gives us the power to forgive our loved ones.  I call that joy in the  morning.  Today I am honoring my husband's friendship.  I know that Bryan and I have a great courtship.  We enjoy spending time with each other, show love in many different ways, we tease each other, bring home each other's best desserts just because, and we will watch each other's TV shows, even the ones we are not interested in just to be in each other's presence. Given all this, I would like to believe we are very good if not best friends. 

However today I came across an interesting list of questions from the book, Romancing Your Husband by Debra White Smith.  In her book she speaks about increasing the intimacy in your marriage through a deeper friendship.  She suggests answering the list of questions below.  As I read through the questions, after the first few I thought this will be a piece of cake, until I came across one I was not absolutely sure of, and then another one, and then yet one more.  I decided at that point that this is probably a good way to honor my husband by honoring his friendship and using the questions to move to a place of being closer friends than today by knowing just a little more than we do today about each other.  The questions are:

1.  What is the happiest thing that has ever happened to your husband?
2.  What has been the hardest experience of his life?
3.  What are his secret ambitions, his goals for life?
4.  What are his deep fears?
5.  What about you does he appreciate the most?
6.  What traits of yours would he like to see changed?
7.  What man or men does he most admire?
8.  What are his spiritual struggles?
9.  What does he like best in bed?
10. What's his favorite color? Favorite restaurant? Favorite dessert?
11. What's his favorite song?
12. What's his favorite piece of your lingerie?
13. What his favorite sport?
14. Who is his favorite profession athlete?
15. What was his favorite class in high school and/or college?
16. When he was a child, what did he dream of doing?
17. What's  his earliest childhood memory?
18. What's the one thing he would consider a sexual treat?
19. How does he feel about storms? Has he ever been in a tornado? Snowed in? A hurricane? An earthquake?
20. What a brand of underwear does he prefer?

It is a long list of questions but I thought it would be a cool exercise to do for each other.  If nothing else it would make for interesting conversation for those things you discover about each other.

Wives of the world in what ways can you honor your husband's friendship?  Does your husband consider you to be his best friend?  What can you do to honor your husband's friendship today to increase the level of intimacy in  your marriage?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

“Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, ‘The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever."

1st Samuel 20:42

Day 193 Honoring My Husband With Forgiveness

Today was another busy day.  We had a lot of following up to do because of Hurricane Irene and our properties.  Fortunately there was no major damage but we discovered a leaky roof and a large tree collapsed in one of the backyards onto someone else's property. 

After taking care of all the business stuff I got right into my school projects and client work and then onto a late video conference call for a school assignment of which I had to facilitate.  By 9:30 PM I was exhausted.  Yet as I ended my video conference call I heard the door bell ring.  My first thought was what happened that would cause someone to ring our bell so late.  Turns out Bryan had invited someone over to our house to do a sales demonstration.  It was somone I knew but that was not even in my radar.  He led the person to our front table and turned her over to me while he sat in front of the TV.  I was not a happy camper but she is pretty young and I did not want to hurt her feelings because she drove at least an hour to do this presentation.

To make a long story short, it was a two hour presentation and needless to say I was beyond exhausted when it was done.  I was not happy with Bryan because I had no idea this person was showing up and he went about his evening as normal while I felt he hijacked mine.  When she left I was so tired all I could say to him was simply, please do not do that again.  Today I am honoring my husband with forgiveness.  Any other time I would have been delighted to support the work of this young lady however it could not have been on a worse evening. 

I am honoring my husband today with forgiveness for several reasons, 1. I did not want to carry it, 2. He did apologize for not informing me or asking me if it would be okay, 3. Because that is what we do as a child of God, we forgive.  What else was I to do?  I am not the kind of person that carries things around but I do let my feelings be known.  I actually found it quite funny that I simply did not have the energy to do anything else but forgive him.  Sometimes God just knows.  He has forgiven me of all my transgressions the least I could do is forgive my husband for his today.

Wives of the world in what ways do you or can you honor your husband's with  forgiveness?      This issue may seem pretty minor to most, however I am one that really value my time and will plan my day up to the end so it left me with a few things undone for the day that will have to be carried over into tomorrow.  Forgiveness or the lack of it can be the cause of some much dissention in a marriage or relationship.  Something happens and we hold on to it, yell at the person for something totally unrelated and they are clueless that the thing we were angry about happened 7 days prior.  How do you need to honor your husband with forgiveness in today? What if anything are you holding on to that is causing a divide in your marriage. Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace." Ephesians 1:7
 

Day 192 Honoring My Husband's Instincts

Hurricane Irene was predicted to
be one of the largest storms along
the East coast shoreline ever.

Praise the Lord we survived Hurricane Irene.  I know there were many that had to deal with major flooding, loss of access to their homes and damage to their property, and some lost loved ones.  My prayers continue to be with you for an expedient return to what's normal for you.  We were very fortunate in that we only had the loss of our power for about 12 hours.  I am grateful, humbled and saddened all at the same time.

Today I am honoring my husband's instincts.  Several years ago we experienced a major storm that took our power out for three days.  I was traveling so Bryan had to make sure the small generator we had was constantly full with fuel so we would not lose our food.  After that experience we purchased a full house generator.  About three weeks ago Bryan stated we should get our generator serviced because hurricane season is coming soon.  He asked if I had heard it come on for its daily battery charge.  I had not noticed.  We called to have it serviced and sure as heck it was not running properly so they made the necessary changes to get it back in operation.

Today I am honoring my husband's instincts because if he had not paid attention to his intuition about getting it serviced we would have been in the dark for those 12 hours.  I am so appreciative of him taking full ownership for our safety in the home.  I love my home, but one of the things I dislike is that it seems our power goes out at the slightest rainfall.  We live in a very rural area and when he purchased the generator he stated he did not ever want me to be caught at home alone when the lights go out.  I love that he is so proactive in this area.  I just need to figure out how to get my Internet connected to our generator.

Wives of the world in what ways can you or do you honor your husband's instincts?  How do you honor  your husband for ensuring the safety of you and your family by following his instincts to protect you?  If your husband takes care of your car, do you take it for granted that you do not have to worry about your tires, oil or brakes?  How can you honor your husband today for his instincts? Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out." Michael Burke

Day 191 Honoring My Husband With Comfort Food

Today I have been having the strangest feeling, a feeling I do not recall ever experiencing before today.  I like to watch the news, specifically CNN.  I like to know what is going on in the world as it relates to people's behavior, our economy and government.  Today it seems just about every news channel was talking about the impending hurricane Irene.  My curiosity was heightened and at the same time I wondered should we be doing something to prepare. 

Bryan spent the day in Baltimore helping his Mom and sister prepare by getting their generators ready, tying down his boat, and checking on our properties.  As I watched the news and listened to all the reports about the weather, I kind of felt like a sitting duck.  It was really weird for me.  I know for sure from the moment we bought our house we were protected by angels.  I used to stand outside on our porch and tell Bryan to take a look at all the angels watching over us because we have so many stars over our home each night.  Yet today this feeling kept gnawing at me.  Finally I decided I need to pray about this, so I went to my prayer alter and asked the Lord what if anything we needed to do to prepare.  What I heard back was to simply have the essentials, enjoy the evening with my husband and know that we are covered.  That was all I needed.

Bryan came home quite exhausted after making sure everything was in order.  He was concerned about his boat and a couple of his properties.  Today I honored my husband with comfort food.  He was quickly passed out on the couch yet I knew he had not nourished his body.  I began to reflect back on my prayer earlier in the day and realized there is a blessing in bad weather; alone time with loved ones and the opportunity to lighten their loads.  As I prepared Bryan's food I could feel the summer slipping away.  One day its popcorn on a beach pier and the next comfort food in the confines of our home, I just love the changes each day brings.

Wives of the world in what ways do you honor your husband's with comfort food?  How do you or can you take advantage of a major storm?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Comfort food, every spoonful puts the mind at ease, removes the worries of the day, relaxes the soul and rejuvenates the spirit."  RAS

My prayers go out to everyone that experienced a loss today due to the storm.  To all that are in the path of Irene please be safe, follow the directions of authorities and government officials about evacuating and know that a life is more important than a house. 

Day 190 Honoring My Husband With Tenacity



Tenacity - forging forward even when
it feels like pushing up hill.

 I cannot believe that I have crossed the half way point in this journey.  It seems as I get closer and closer to completing my school program it gets more and more challenging to get clarity on how I will honor my husband.  Today as I wondered what it would be the word tenacity jumped right out at me so today that is how I am honoring my husband.  I will need the tenacity of a jungle "female" lion to stay the course.

I shared a while ago that I have written my own personal 12 life commandments, the last one is to be a lioness.  The reason is because the lioness is the one who gets up each day and ferociously tackles what needs to be done to ensure her youth can eat for the day and she will hunt for hours until she completes the task.  Over the next few months I will need to be the head lioness to ensure I hold true to honoring my husband, successfully complete my MSOD program, and stay the course on the home front with some minor adjustments.

Today I am honoring my husband with tenacity as a reminder to continue to forge forward and tackle what feels like a huge mountain of work before me by chucking away one piece at a time.  To make sure that I continue to plan our meals so I don't get back to feeling like cooking is a task instead of a creative way to express myself.

Wives of the world in what ways do you need to honor your husband's with tenacity?  Is there something you committed to doing but it has fallen by the wayside because life, kids, school, work, and family has gotten in the way?  I have found that sometimes all I need is the feeling of accomplishing what I said I would do to keep me going for the remainder of the day.  Being able to say, yes I did it brings so much joy to me and those I have made the commitment to.  What do you need to do to bring joy to your husband today by honoring him with tenacity?

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Patience and tenacity of purpose are worth more than twice their weight of cleverness."

Thomas Henry Huxley

Day 189 Honoring My Husband With Timeliness

Today was the day to head home and get back in the swing of things.  It is so nice to be back on line again.  I cannot believe how dependent I am on technology.   My husband calls my computer my best friend and to some degree he is correct, especially these days until I finish school.

We both had a ton of things that needed to be taken care of in light of the impending storm so Bryan asked if I woud be so kind to ensure we have an early start to head back home.  I even surprised myself.  We grabbed a great breakfast and headed home.  Today I honored my  husband with timeliness by ensuring he met his commitments by keeping my promise to leave in time for us to arrive back home by 2PM.

Wives of the world in what ways do you honor your husband with timeliness?  How do you help ensure you are not the reason for him missing an important business meeting?  How can you honor your husband today with timeliness?

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 188 Honoring My Husband's Intellect

If you live in the Maryland, Washington, DC or Virginia area, where were you when the earthquake hit.   Well I was standing on the top floor of a beach house looking out of a sliding glass door when the house began to shake.  I immediately turned to Bryan and said, what was that and what are you doing?  He said I did not do anything and then it happened again.  He then said it was an earthquake.  I simply laughed and said we do not get earthquakes on the east coast.  Little did I know he would be correct. 

Today I am honoring my husband's intellect.  Without pretty much missing a beat, he recognized the rattling as an earthquake.  He stated he could not imagine it being anything else given the entire house was shaken.  The idea of an earthquake on the east coast was so far out of my possibilities; I could not get my head wrapped around the idea. 

Wives of the world in what ways do you or can you  honor your husband's intellect?  Does he provide information that seems so farfetched for you that you ignore him or think he's  joking?  Bryan is typically such a prankster, I actually looked under the bed thinking he had placed something under it to make the house shake, I asked him about the washing machine, and the dryer thinking he was really pulling my leg.  When he finally said, Rochelle, I am not kidding it was an earthquake, it kind of sank it but not really until I heard it on the news.  My lesson, when my husband says he is not kidding, know that he is not.  How about you, how can you honor your husband's intellect today?  I would say today is a day I failed to really honor my husband's intellect and learned a very valuable lesson; to do so in the future.
Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Curiosity is one of the most permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect." Samuel Johnson

Day 187 Honoring My Husband With Relaxation

Hello all my faithful readers, I am still without Internet access but capturing my blessings in word until I can post them. Stay tuned to see how the Lord is blessing me while honoring my husband on vacation.

Rochelle

Yeah! I am back in business.

When Bryan decided he really wanted to go on vacation, I agreed but also stated that I needed to have at least four hours a day to complete my school and business work.  He agreed but I could  tell he would have preferred not to have to share my time.  Today I got up really early and completed some work but then spent the day really enjoying our vacation. 

We spent the day enjoying the boardwalk, saw a movie and had a great dinner.  Initially I was concerned that I would not get done what I needed to but then I decided to just relax.  Today I honored my husband with relaxation because that is what he really needed and apparently it is what I needed as well.  After spending the day and evening just enjoying each other, I had one of the best sleeps I've had in a long time.  I guess a day of relaxation is what I needed as well.

Wives of the world in what ways do you honor your husband with relaxation?  Are you a Type A nonstop kind of  person or do you take time to just be in the moment?  How can you honor your husband with relaxation today?  I realized that when I am relaxed it gives my husband permission to relax as well and not be on the phone conducting business.  Today was a great day for us both.  Wives please share your relaxation stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Your mind will answer most questions, if you learn to relax and wait for the answer." William S. Burroughs

Day 186 Honoring My Husband's Physique

I cannot believe I am away on vacation in a lovely house with no internet connection. Stay tuned for today's posting. Thank goodness for blackberry's.

Today as Bryan and I were preparing to enjoy the sights in Ocean City he was very interested in what was on TV.  As he was getting dressed he stopped before putting on his pants and was standing before me with simply a T-shirt and his underwear.  I could not help but admire his physique.  I smiled inside and felt myself getting all warm and fuzzy.  As I watched him complete the process of getting dressed I could not help but be grateful for being blessed with a handsome husband that still has it going on.

Today I honored my husband’s physique by appreciating him physically as well as aesthetically.  Sometimes it is nice to appreciate the wrapping paper as well as the gift of our blessings. 

Wives of the world in what ways do you honor your husband’s physique?  Do you still admire the wrapping of the gift the Lord has given you?  I remember once an older woman shared with me that her husband is like a pair of old favorite slippers to her.  She said he may not be as tight in all the places he once was, some of his straps have widened, the heal is a little worn down, but he is still her favorite because he fits like a glove, is more comfortable than anything else she knows, she always feels relaxed in his presence and she loves to come home and wrap herself in his arms.   

Blessings,

Rochelle

"It is always a blessing when the gift and the wrapping are still intact years after its received."

Day 185 Honoring My Husband Emotional Needs

Praise God for the internet!  Here is my post from Sunday. 

Today I am excited because I will be heading down to Ocean City, MD to join my husband for vacation.  Yesterday as we were going through the challenge of trying to find him a room he asked me what time will I be arriving after my presentation with my client.  He commented that he knows how I can easily get distracted and take my time getting somewhere when I am not in a hurry.  I shared that I intended to arrive by 5PM.  He was quite skeptical but shared he missed me and asked me to please arrive as soon as I could.  His exact words were, “I need you here with me.”

Today I honored by husband’s needs by keeping my commitment and arriving on time.  Once my meeting was over I had planned to change my clothes, get my car washed and then grab something to eat before heading south.  However because of Bryan’s request and the impending rainy weather I simply got in my car and headed south and grabbed something to go along the way.  I was very excited during my entire drive and was looking forward to seeing him.  When I arrived it was nice to see his excitement and get my one minute hug.

Wives of the world in what ways do you honor your husband’s emotional needs?  How do you respond to his request of wanting to have you near him?  I was quite touched by his words of “I need you here with me.”  I felt missed and wanted which is always very nice.  How can you honor your husband’s emotional needs today?  Please share your stories with us we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"The eternal quest of the human being is to shatter his loneliness." Norman Cousins

Day 184 Honoring My Husband With Diligence

Imagine if you had the faith of a bag
of mustard seeds, how much less
stressed would you be?

I had quite the interesting evening.  I finally got my hug from Bryan last night but I am missing him again   tonight.  We will be on vacation next week but he left before me because I have client work tomorrow so I am without my one minute hugs again tonight. 

I was going about my work this evening and Bryan called to let me know that he could not get in the house we are supposed to be occupying this coming week.  He showed up with our friends and there were shoes and clothe's depicting that someone else was there.  To make a long story short, when he called me I was not happy.  As this is the second time a miscommunication has happened with us occupying this house.  The last time we had to cancel altogether and went to Atlantic City and Ocean City, NJ instead.  This time I was not happy and neither was he.  To make the situation worse we could not get in contact with the owner, all the hotels in the area were sold out.  Bryan asked if I could locate a hotel for them to stay the night.

The person that owns the house has a business and Bryan also asked if I could locate the number to speak with her because he could not remember the name of the establishment.  I went into my research and detective mode and was able to find the name but of course they were not answering the phone.  This establishment is located not too far from my sister.  So I contacted my sister and asked her to visit this establishment so I could speak with the owner.  I was pretty upset with her for this mishap and causing a situation where my husband was without accommodations.  Actually I was very angry at her.  Being the good Christian that I am, when I finally got to speak with her I did not do what I really wanted to do which was to yell at her for creating this situation a second time around.  In my best, give her the benefit of the doubt voice, I explained to her what was going on and asked that she do something to correct it.  Well as it turns out there was not much to be done.  The family that was occupying the house certainly was not going to leave knowing they would not find alternate accommodations.

I had to stop in my tracks, say a prayer and ask the Lord to lead me to someplace that would have accommodations.  I had searched every travel site I knew to try and find something while my sister sought to locate her and came up empty handed each time.  Then the Lord told me to type in the name of a hotel I knew was in the area and to give them a call directly.  And but of course they had "one" room available.  It was at a ridiculous rate, but it was a condo with two bedrooms, perfect.  I was quite relieved to know he and our friends would not have to sleep in the car.  Today I honored my husband with diligence by being creative and pulling out the ultimate weapon of prayer.

My friends always tell me they are amazed at my level of faith.  I think I simply just take God at his word.  He says ask and it shall be given and I believe he can do the absolutely impossible in all situations.  I believe it for the small things and the big things.  There are things I have prayed for that have not yet been materialized but I know in my heart they will come to pass, even if it is in heaven because my God cannot lie.   All the resources on this earth belong to him; he is just allowing us to use them during our relatively short visit. 

Wives of the world in what ways can you honor your husband with diligence?  This story had many more details I could have shared, but the most important aspect is that I wanted to honor my husband's request to help him find accommodations and to understand what happened.  We still do not know who was telling the truth, the person currently in the home or the owner, but that is not important.  What's most important is that the Lord used my diligence to get the task accomplished. This was a nice deposit into the emotional bank account.  How hard do you work to take care of something for your husband?  Do you see it all the way to the end or do you give up when the situation looks bleak? How can you honor your husband with diligence today?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized." Hebrews 6:11

Day 183 Honoring My Husband Through Sadness

"Two hearts beating as one soothes the
soul and deepens the love." R.A.S.

I spent most of today completing work for school and one of my clients.  I decided to complete my work at my office away from home, Panera Bread.  I love that they open early and close late and have great food.  Bryan left the house pretty early today and tonight is the Baltimore Raven's first preseason game and his friend's birthday so I knew he would be out late.  However I did not anticipate missing him so much this evening when I returned home. 

After getting settled I realized I was not going to get my one minute hug because I will be sleep by the time he gets home and I am really missing it.  I guess it did have an impact on my subconscious yesterday and it certainly left me with heightened emotions.  Today I am honoring my husband with sadness.  When I used to travel extensively for work I would have these moments but it was usually after about 3 days.  Well it has not even been 24 hours and I am wishing my husband was home to give me my one minute hug.  This is somewhat of a new space for me yet I only want to bask in the moment.  That will make it just that much more joyous when he does come home.

Wives of the world in what ways do you honor your husband's with sadness?  How much time has to pass before you begin to experience sadness when you and your husband are apart? Or are you over joyed to have some alone time?  There are times I get excited to have some alone time, but tonight is not one of those times.  You may wonder, how one can honor their husband with sadness.  Well what it means for me is that my heart is pounding with anticipation, my thoughts are filled joyous memories of him and my body is longing for his arms to be around me and because I have all of that going on, I am sad that he's not within reach at the moment.  So I guess you can say I am missing my husband this evening and I truly wonder how much of it has to do with our new practice of the one minute hug.  Wives please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love. Sustain me with cakes of raisins, Refresh me with apples,  For I am lovesick." "My beloved is mine, and I am his." Song of Solomon 2:4-5,16

Day 182 Honoring My Husband With The One Minute Secret

On day 176 I shared how I had come across a site that talked about the 7 secrets to a happier marriage.  The first secret is the "One Minute Secret".  Drs. L and Leslie Parrott of Real Relationships describes the first secret as follows:


When you both return home after a day of work, before you do anything else, spend 60 seconds sharing a hug and a kiss, looking into each other's eyes, and talking.

It's this simple: when you come in the door, FIND YOUR SPOUSE. Go to him or her and offer 60 seconds of affection and attention. If you're the first one home, when your spouse arrives, stop what you're doing and give your mate 60 seconds of affection and attention. What happens between you on a subconscious level is extremely important. Pressing your bodies together, focusing on each other for a full 60 seconds (and that is longer than you think), soothes your subconscious. It says warmth, home, love, and security in a very primal way.

Bryan and I typically greet each other with a kiss when we are going and coming in the morning and evening everyday.  Since we were already home today I told him I had a secret I wanted to share with him that required him giving me a hug for a full minute.  When we were done he asked, so what's the secret, I simply said its the secret to a happier marriage that I would like to add to our current practice of kissing each other when we first see each other in the evening. 
So did this activity soothe my subconscious?  I really don't know if it did that but it did allow me to feel more emotionally connected in the moment and I do believe if we incorporate this practice on a regular basis it will have a positive impact on our marriage.  Today I honored my husband with the "One Minute Secret" to a happier marriage.

Wives of the world how can you surprise your husband with the "one minute secret" if it is not already a common practice.  See how it impacts you and your spouse.  I always tell Bryan I feel safest when I am wrapped in his arms, so if this exercise does nothing else, it will give me the feeling of safety on a regular basis.  I believe that in of itself could make for a happier marriage.  Ladies please share your stories with us and how you felt about it; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"A hug a day keeps the marriage counselor away." RAS

Day 181 Honoring My Husband's Leadership Skills

Today was quite the interesting day for me.  My schedule was full as usual from start to finish, however it was also filled with an interesting learning.  This morning I accompanied my husband to rent court.  We have a tenant that has not paid their rent so we had to file a claim against her to begin the proceedings to have her removed from the premises.  I was absolutely astonished at how many people were in rent court to explain why they had not paid their rent. 

I was also very impressed with how connected Bryan is with those that run the system.  When we arrived in court all the seats were pretty much full so we stood in the back of the court room.  It was about 9:00 in the morning and I had to be somewhere by 10:00.  I could not see how in the world I was going to make it without leaving him and later returning to pick him up.  He had shared with me that he had connections and promised we would be in and out in no time.  I watched as he signaled the court clerk and as he promised we were called within 10 minutes of the proceedings starting.  I truly had to take pause and acknowledge his ability to build effective relationships.

My work is about teaching others how to be great leaders.  One of the concepts I teach is about being an Authentic Leader which includes the concept of building healthy effective relationships because it is the only way things get done.  Today I am honoring my husband's leadership skills.  I have seen him in action before but this took things to entirely new level for me.  I really understood his effectiveness.  I heard the court clerk mention that they had over 100 cases that morning and yet we were close to the last to arrive and one of the first three to leave.  Absolutely incredible is all I could say.  I was so proud of him in that moment.  I then began to think I should probably have him help me teach the concepts about building effective relationships and the benefits that they bring since he is a walking example.

Wives of the world in what ways can you or do you honor your husband's leadership skills?  How have you seen him in action that has demonstrated to you that he is a good leader?  Have you shared your thoughts with him?  If not, honor your husband today by letting him know how proud you are of his leadership skills in whatever area they show up for you.  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Leadership is action not position."

Day 180 Honoring My Husband Through Frustration

It is amazing how quickly the waves can turn into a storm. Today I am honoring my husband through my frustrations. He has been holding something against me that I feel he really owns. In the midst of holding myself accountable to God I sought to find the lesson in the situation.  Today while spending the day at a client church trying to get to know their system better, I prayed and asked for understanding and clarity.  Then I was presented with a video of their service on Sunday by one of the pastors.  You would not believe what it was about, nothing other than marriage.

The Lord certainly does have a way of getting his message across.  The video I viewed was about how a husband is to love his wife and how a wife is to submit to her husband.  I was quite intrigued by some of the concepts shared.  Specifically how when a wife does not submit to her husband according to God's plan it derails the marriage just as it does when a husband does not love his wife as Christ did.  So I asked the Lord what in the world am I missing and in what area am I not submitting.  I don't know the answer yet but I am committed to finding out.  In the meantime I am still honoring my husband through my frustrations and I actually had a great laugh about how things unfolded.

Day before yesterday I honored my husband's emotions and today he escalated mine.  When we were going through premarital counseling our Pastor told us his barometer to determine the seriousness of a couple's problem is their sex life.  If the sex is still working then he says the couple is only going through growing pains.  Well I had to laugh at that thought because although I am frustrated when using my Pastor's barometer I know we are only going through growing pains.

Wives of the world in what ways do you honor your husband through your frustrations?  Are you able to still honor him in the midst of your own emotions or do you totally shut down?  This process has actually gotten me to the point where I do not believe I could totally shutdown even if I wanted to.  God just continues to keep me focused on the prize.  How can you honor your husband today through your frustrations.  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"You've done it before and you can do it now.  See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination." Ralph Marston

Day 179 Honoring My Husband in the Midst

Today was just a day of simply recognizing this journey and taking the time to honor my husband in  the midst of everything that is going on and trying to figure out exactly the message I am to be getting in this season of the process.  Today I am honoring my husband in the midst of my extra busy schedule, in the midst of our misunderstanding and in the midst of the madness in his business.  Sometimes it is good to take a pause to take it all in.  Today is that day for me.

Wives of the world please share how you spent the day simply honoring your husband in the midst of everything called life.  How can you honor your husband today in a way that will cause him to take pause and enjoy the moment?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 178 Honoring My Husband's Emotions

This weekend was another interesting and inspiring weekend at school. Bryan was out of town while I was in school so we had a hard time connecting with times.  So I was very excited to see him and was ready to honor his emotions.  Revelation number 4 is "Men want more sex" - Your sexual desire for your husband profoundly affects his sense of well being and confidence in all areas of his life.

Per the author sex unlocks the emotions of a man and we (the wives) hold the key.  She says "Your sexual desire for your husband profoundly affects his sense of well being and confidence in all areas of his life." At the most basic level our men want to be wanted just like we want to be wanted.  When asked the question, How import is it to you to also feel sexually wanted and desired by your wife, 67% responded very important.  There were two benefits to meeting our husband emotional needs through sex.  The first one is it makes  him feel loved and desired and the second is it gives him confidence.  That was a new revelation for me.  I was not aware how demonstrating my desire increases my husband's confidence.  So I guess I could say today I am not only honoring  his emotions but I am also honoring his confidence.  And of course there's a reciprocal benefit for me as well.  I just love win/win situations.

When we do not honor our husband emotions by demonstrating our desire for them there is a direct opposite negative impact in the form of two wounds they carry.  One is they feel incredibly rejected and two it can send them into depression.  I guess that explains some episodes I have experienced.  I have come to learn that my husband has an emotional time frame when it comes to the amount of time between sessions.  After 3 days he gets cranky, after four annoyed and after five he's the other side of Jekyll and Hyde. Now I get why.  Today I am honoring my husband's emotions to keep him in balance.  Men experience a no from their wife or significant other as a no to them as they are and not just a no to sex. 

Wives of the world in what ways do you or can you honor your husband's emotions to build his confidence and help keep him out of emotional depression?  Our husband's are a tender heart hiding behind a lot of testosterone.  Show him that the desire for intimacy is on both sides of the fence.  Show your husband something different today and honor his emotions by demonstrating your desire for him.  He will love you more for it.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Feelings are much like waves, we can't stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf." Jonatan Mårtensson

Wives of the world in what ways can you

Day 177 Honoring My Husband In Spirit

This weekend I am away at school and I had the privilege of having dinner in Alexandria, VA  with two very good friends and their husband's.  Bryan could not be there because he was attending a fight in Atlantic City.  I had a great time with my friends and their husband's and I also missed Bryan very much. 

My friend Jen is the ultimate OD Practitioner and comes up with these awesome dinner and party games.  Tonight we played a game that entailed sharing what you are grateful for, listed our favorite things like shoes, candy, vacation spots, words, beaches etc. and our current or desired super powers.  As we shared in each of these areas I could not help but wonder what Bryan would have said if he was present.  Today I honored my husband in spirit.  Although he was not at dinner I found myself bringing him up on several occasions because I truly missed his presence.  Stating his name was my way of bringing  him into the room and providing me with the warmth of his presence. 

I was actually surprised at how much I wished he could have shared in on the experience with me.  I believe it was because both of my married friend's have great husbands and I so enjoyed watching their love in action.  Today I honored my husband in spirit by sharing some of his story, bringing him up in the conversation and holding a place for him in his absence.

Wives of the world in what ways do you or can you honor your husband in spirit?  How do you bring him into the room when you need to feel his presence but he is not there?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit." E.E. Cummings

"The human spirit is the lamp of the LORD that sheds light on one’s inmost being." Prov. 20:27

Day 176 Honoring My Husband With A Happier Marriage

One of the things I have learned about marriage is that it is not easy.  The rewards are great, but to make it through the long haul it requires more than just getting up each morning and spending time together.  It requires a commitment to keeping the fire alive and adding happiness to each other's lives.  Because of this I am always looking for interesting things to do just to keep my husband wondering.  Today I am honoring him with a Happier Marriage. 

I came across a website called Real Relationships.  When I joined to get regular updates, I was rewarded with a list of the 7 Secrets to a Happier Marriage.  Today I am honoring my husband by making the commitment to try each one of the secrets over the next several weeks.  They are as follows:

     1. The "One Minute" Secret

2. The "Best Sex" Secret

         3. The "Cats and Dogs" Secret

  4. The "Last Laugh" Secret

       5. The "Lavish Praise" Secret

 6. The "Chemistry" Secret

  7. The "Big Dream" Secret

I cannot wait to put each one to the test to see if they add just a little more happiness to our lives.  Stay tuned to hear about how they did or did not work.

Wives of the world in what ways can you honor your husband's with a happier marriage?  I know there are probably 1000's of list of how to's about improving one's marriage.  Every now and then I come across one that seems interesting, funny yet simple enough to give a try.  What, if any lists have you tried to use to help spice things up in your marriage?  How can you honor your husband with a happier marriage today?   Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

 "Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry." Tom Mullen

Day 175 Honoring My Husband With Reverence

Today while I was running some errands and was pondering over how I would be honoring my husband  today.  The Lord had not yet spoken to me so I was just waiting to hear from him.  When I got in my car after leaving the store, one of my favorite Pastor's was on the radio, Dr. Tony Evans and he was speaking about marriage.  As I was starting the car he said, "The Lord commands that we reverence our husband's, this is how we honor them."  I thought well that was pretty clear.  So today I am honoring my husband with reverence.

Reverence is defined as "a feeling or attitude of deep respect, love, awe, and esteem, as for something sacred." Proper expression of a reverent attitude toward God reveals the character of the heart. The greater our character, the greater our reverence of God and our husband.  I always love Dr. Evan's teachings about marriage.  He stated that if a husband does not receive the reverence from his wife he will shrivel up and die.  He likened reverence to respect and honor.  He said it is their greatest need and highest motivator to do a better job at loving his wife.  "It is not optional" to reverence our husband's like it is not optional for our husband's to love us. 

Reverencing one's husband includes submitting to him.  Dr. Evans stated that we are equal in every way to our husband's but when it comes to the family we are to yield to his headship.  He used the analogy of Adam and Eve and what can happen when roles are reversed.  The devil takes over and there is spiritual dysfunction in the family.  Today I am honoring my husband with reverence.  As I sat in the car and listened to Dr. Evans talk about reverence, submission and honor I began to wonder, "In what way am I not demonstrating reverence to my husband?"  I do not think it is by chance that the Lord has raised the topic of respect and submission several times since I began this blog.  My prayer is that whatever else I need to learn or unlearn in this area it will be revealed to me sooner rather than later. 

Wives of the world in what ways do you honor your husband with reverence?  Who's the head of your household, you or your husband?  Is your house spiritually dysfunctional because it is out of order with the word of God?  Tony mentioned that God is the head of our husband's and our husband's are the head of us.  This does not mean we follow them when it is something against the word of God, but it does mean that we allow them to take the lead.  He mentioned that if we change how we reverence our husband's they will change how they love us, for the better.  So I am going for the gold and hope you join me.  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." 1st Corin 11:3

Day 174 Honoring My Husband As The Provider

Today I had a very interesting aha! moment.  As I asked the Lord to lead me to how I needed to honor my husband he led  me back to the 7 Revelations from "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn.  The third revelation is "Men are providers" - Even if you personally make enough income to support the family's lifestyle, it would make no difference to the mental burden he feels to provide.  What I found interesting as I delved into this revelation was just how deep this runs for our husbands.  When asking the 4,000 men interviewed the question, "Suppose your wife/significant other earned enough to support your family lifestyle.  Would you still feel a compulsion to provide for your family?"  76% of the men responded yes and the author notes that the compulsion is greater in minority men. 

A few of the other findings that struck me were, men feel powerful when they provide. And they want to be depended on.  Being a provider is a highly desirable goal.  Providing is a primary way to say "I love you" and long hours equal love to men.  This was a nice revelation to have.  Bryan works all the time and we have often had conversations about whether his priority is his business or his family.  His response has always been exactly what the author found, "I work so hard because I want to make sure you are taken care of."  I am almost embarrassed to admit I did not always believe him.  I really thought he just loved his work.  The author also found that working long hours is a way a man experience success.

As I reflected upon the findings about the husband's need to provide, I began to feel an even greater appreciation for Bryan and how he has handled me quitting my job.  I quit my job last year to pursue my passion and although my husband is very supportive of me and my abilities he was not too crazy about my chosen area of focus.  I left my job at the height of the economic crisis and at a time when his business was not doing as well as it had in the past.  However over the past 16 months since leaving my job he has never said to me you should not have left nor has he pushed for me to find other employment.  We have had our challenges but I can honestly say my husband fits the bill when it comes to his role as the provider.  I am so proud of him because of this.  Today I am honoring my husband as the provider that he is and continues to strives to be. 

I had been talking about leaving my job for at least a year and a half before I left and it was amazing to me how he became very strategic about how we were going to fill the gap to replace my salary.  I feel truly blessed and honored to have him as my husband.  I realize his quest to be the provider comes with a lot of stress and when I left my job I added to that burden.  As the author noted, men often think about what is the worse that can happen.  This is the world my husband lives in; he is always trying to be financially proactive instead of reactive.  Men feel like failures if their family encounter financial problems, even if they are out of their control, this explains that behavior.

Wives of the world in what ways can you honor your husband as the provider?  Even if you make more money than him; know that it is a fundamental need for him to feel like the provider in the home.  How can you honor your husband for all that he does to try to provide for you as his wife and your family?  The author found that being a provider is the key arena where men experience the ongoing risk of failure.  In what ways can you uplift your husband as the provider so he feels appreciated in this vain.  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"One of the ways the Lord ensures our needs are provided is by giving us a husband."

Day 173 Honoring My Husband With the Power of Change

So what have I learned over the past 48 hours about my ability to honor my husband without having to think about it and just how often did the concept, idea of honoring my husband come up in 48 hours.  I stopped counting after 40.  What I realized was that a lot of my behavior is on automatic when it comes to honoring my husband and there are many times when I had to think about what would be the most honorable way to deal with a situation.

Over the course of the past 48 hours I have honored my husband in communications, thoughts, theory, laughter, prayer, listening, a sense of urgency, compliment, surprise, praise, respect, prioritizing, a smile, as a lover wife, his insecurities and with collaboration to name a few.  Whew! Yes that is what I thought.  However the cool thing about it is that it did not feel exhausting although it sounds exhausting.  My greatest learning during this practice period is just how much power I really do have to make a difference in myself, my marriage and my husband. 

Today I am honoring my husband with the power of change that has come with this journey.  I am also honoring my husband with the power of the spoken word.  There is a lot to be said about putting your intention in the universe and watching it come to pass.  I am excited about how much more I am going to learn over the next 6 months.  What surprised me was the number of times I had to think and say, okay so what is the best way to be honorable in this situation and each time I had the question the answer would be revealed.  I just loved it.  Mostly because I know eventually it will all be automatic which is the ultimate purpose of this journey.

Wives of the world how can you honor your husband with the power of change?  If you took the past 48 hours to practice, what did you discover about yourself and the changes you have made?  What did you learn about your husband and your  marriage?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change." Barbara de Angelis

"As one person I cannot change the world, but I can change the world of one person." Paul Shane

Day 172 Honoring My Husband

Today I am just following  up with my practice.  So far I am amazed at how much of each concept is used in a 24 hour period.  I am learning just how much of a multi-tasker, thinker, strategist and lover wife I am.  As the old saying goes, practice makes perfect.  Although I am not striving for total perfection, I am curious about just how much of my behavior is on automatic pilot and how much requires intentional thought. 

When I started the blog I noted that it takes 50 days to create a habit and I am well beyond 50 days.  I guess the challenge is that each day the Lord has taught me something else that I need to add to the list or to learn how to do more effectively.  Given this is my 172nd day I believe the only thing I have been doing is just truly honoring my husband in the way the Lord has guided.  Whether or not I have repeated any one behavior 50 times or more, I believe the most important aspect is that I am honoring my husband in the way he needs to be honored in that moment in time.  So today I am simply honoring my husband and continuing to practice what I have already learned and learning what the Lord has in store for today.

Wives of the world in what ways can you honor your husband's today based on all of what you have learned about yourself, your husband and your marriage thus far.  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 171 Honoring My Husband With Practice

Today it dawnwd on me that each day as the Lord reveals something to me about honoring my husband that there is an accumulative effect. As I pondered on this I thought, I need to take some time and practice to see how many of my 170 days I have to use in the course of 48 hours.

Today I am honoring my husband by practicing what I am preaching while keeping track just for myself. Each day has brought a new awareness so I am very curious about what the next 48 hours will bring. Its not that I have not been practicing because I have, however I do not recall paying attention to just how much I have learned collectively. This weekend my journey will be to do just that while honoring my husband with practice. Stay tuned for the update.

Wives of the world in what ways can you honor your husbands by practicing?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Practicing what you preach is an act of courage, you get to see the blind spots more clearly." RAS

Day 170 Honoring My Husband As Lover Wife Part III

Post for Friday, August 7, 2011 - I am often surprised at the number of times over the past couple of months the enemy has tried to deter this process and hence my journey.  Yet each time I emerge more committed and determined to forge forward.  When I am not able to get an internet connection the Lord blesses me to ensure I either have pen and paper or can type my post for the day in Word.  Praise be to God for creativity.

Today I am honoring my husband as Lover Wife Part III. Specifically I am honoring him based on the concept of expressing appreciation for "every" task he performs.  Since day 163 and reporting about being a lover wife, I have been paying attention to just how much I hold true to each of the concepts I believed I was doing well.  Then on the heels of that another author speaks about how so many within my husband's age range feel unappreciated.  I put myself to the test and tried to be as authentic in my test of myself.

What I learned was that I do say thank you for just about everything my husband does, however I don't often use the words "I appreciate you doing that" or something to that effect.  I then wanted to go a little further and find out if my husband felt appreciated.  So I prepared myself for the response and asked the question.  "Do you feel that I appreciate you?"  I was somewhat surprised and taken aback at his answer.  His first response was no and then he quickly said well sometimes.  So we entered into a conversation about why, when does he and when does he not.  What I found interesting is that when I asked the question what could be done so he felt more appreciated I got a response that left me in the dark, I don't know.  So then I thought so now what.  This brought me back to the concepts in the For Women Only book about showing appreciation.  So I guess I will begin to put them into regular practice and revisit the question in about a month in the hopes that I have increased my level of being a lover wife.

Wives of the world in what ways can you honor your husband's by going another level in being a lover wife?  Have you ever asked him the question if he feels appreciated?  If not, ask and be ready for the answer.  I believe in the old adage that you do not ask a question you do not want to know the answer to or are not prepared to do something about it.  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well."

Day 169 Honoring My Husband With Trading Places

Today I unexpectedly came across a very interesting little book titled, Trading Places, a Workbook for Men.  Unfortunately I could not find the counterpart which is the Workbook for Women or the book, Trading Places which the workbook is intended to accompany.  The cover of the book states it is the best move you'll ever make in your marriage, so of course I could not pass it by.  As I perused it I discovered that it is filled with exercises a husband and wife can do separately and then talk about them together.  The book was written by a husband and wife team named Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott who are apparently experts on the topic of marriage and relationships and shared in the creation of the eHarmony online service.
                   

                                                 

Today I am honoring my husband with Trading Places and completing the eHarmony exercise to see what we can learn about each other and from each other.  The exercise is to answer the following questions separately and then discuss them together:

1.  If you could press a magic button right now to make you a better husband/wife, what one specific thing would you improve?

2. Name one specific desire you would like to have fulfilled more frequently in your marriage.  In other words, what one single relationship improvement would make you a happier husband/wife?

3.  If you were married to yourself, what would you find to be most challenging and why?

4.  If you were married to yourself, what would you find to be most rewarding and why?

I will be honoring my husband by completing the questions and asking him to do the same.  I am already curious about his answers. 

Wives of the world indulge yourself in a fun activity and honor your husband by Trading Places with the eHarmony exercise to see what you discover about each other?  Please share your experience with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” Ghandi

Day 168 Honoring My Husband's Insecurities

On day 155 I honored my husband with the 7 Revelations outlined in the book, For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn and committed to following up on each revelation. Today I am honoring my husband with revelation no. 2. Men Are Insecure.  The author states, despite their, "in control" exterior, men often feel like impostors and are insecure that their inadequacies will be discovered.  She went on to say that men are hiding a deep inner uncertainty. 

As I read through some of her findings I was quite surprised. I do not experience my husband in some of the areas she discovered.  For example she states that men feel they are going to be found out in their work environment and this is one area I know my husband feels very secure.  He knows what he knows and will admit to what he does not know.  However she also mentions that men feel they are going to be found out because they do not always know what they are doing.  She states that men will compensate for this insecurity and their feeling of being watched by working long hours.  This caught my attention.
The other finding that caught my attention was the idea that men feel like impostors at home.  She found that most men want to be a good husband, but many do not feel they know everything about how to succeed at being a good husband.

So how do we help our men in the face of their insecurities, the author notes a few strategies,

1. Affirmation is everything - "Home is the most important place for a man to be affirmed.  If a man knows that his wife believes in him, he is empowered to do better in every area of his life."

2. Don't tear him down - 44% of the 4000 men she polled said they actually felt unappreciated at home.  Specifically men between 36 - 55 felt even less unappreciated.  Most wives do appreciate their husband, we just may not show it enough or in a way that matters to them.  Hint, in their Love Language.

3. Create a safety zone - Men want to know their home is a safe haven for them.  If we as wives are too attentive to their mistakes at home, the home becomes as much a war zone as the outside world to our husbands.

4. Supportive sex - Her study found that the role of sex (sessions) cannot be overstated. A great sex life will overshadow and overcome a multitude of impostor messages from the world.

5. The gift of confidence - Men want their wives to be aware of their weaknesses, failings, shortcomings and still want them.  They need us to be their number one source of encouragement to become the men God created them to be.

Today I am honoring my husband by honoring his insecurities and recognizing that although he may be my rock he has vulnerabilities that need to be attended to.  Some time ago I was watching a show and the actress Holly Robinson Peete was playing the role of a wife.  She had an appointment with her ob-gyn.  Her husband than began to question her about her visit and her doctor.  I wondered why he was so inquisitive until they showed her doctor.  He was a very tall, handsome, muscular African American man.  I could tell her husband was uncomfortable with her doctor and more so since he was her obgyn.  At the end of the show, Holly shared with her husband that she had found another doctor, a female and he was of course elated.  He had never asked her to change doctors but she knew her husband enough to recognize his insecurities.   I thought, wow, now that was a major strategic move.  Imagine the deposit into her husband's emotional love bank account.

Wives of the world in what way do you or can you honor your husband's insecurities?  Do you use his insecurities to put him down or do you recognize them and try to make sure you do your part to help him overcome them?  The author notes, "it's about sending the man we love into the world every day, alive with the belief that he can slay dragons," to me this is how to honor our husband's insecurities.  How can you honor your husband's insecurities today?

Note:  Just as a side bar, I have been writing this blog for close to 170 days.  The topic I have noted the most is respect, respect, respect.  I have written about it 15 out of the 168 days which is close to 10%.  Ladies, I cannot say enough about the importance of this topic to your husband.  If you do not believe me, the researchers,  or the Bible; ask your husbands.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"My theory is that men are no more liberated than women."  ~Indira Gandhi

Day 167 Honoring My Husband With His Love Language

What Is Your Love Language?

 Yesterday the Lord set the stage for Bryan and I to have a very intimate conversation.  We were on our   boat and it began pouring down raining which took out the cable and the lights.  This set the stage for us to continue a conversation we had begun last week.  The conversation was about how we experienced love in our childhood.  My family demonstrates love emotionally, we share hugs and kisses all the time.  Bryan family demonstrates love through acts by doing things for each other.  As we discussed how this shows up in our marriage today we realized that we both show love in the way we received it as children but different than the way the other prefers to receive love.  What an ahay moment.

As we talked I shared with Bryan that it dawned on me that we were having a conversation about our love language.  I was referring to the book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  In this book the author shares that often time couples do exactly what Bryan and I do on a regular basis, that is demonstrate love the way we want to receive it instead of the way our partner may prefer or need.  He shares that it is a major cause of divorce because many times a couples emotional bank may be continuously on E(empty).  Fortunately for Bryan and I we both acknowledged that although we would like to receive love more often in the way we prefer, neither of us are running on an empty tank.  Praise God for that.

Today I am honoring my husband by putting into action his love language.  The Five Love Languages are

             1. Words of Affirmation

2. Quality Time

     3. Receiving Gifts.

    4. Acts of Service

    5. Physical Touch

Bryan's love language is Acts of Service and mine is Physical Touch.  When I do something of service for him it is like love money in the bank and when he shows affection to me with hugs and passionate kisses (outside the bedroom); I can live off of it for at least two weeks.  This is the power of loving your mate in the manner at which is most impactful to them.  Today I am honoring my husband with his love language by increasing my acts of service in his business.  As we continued our conversation we both also acknowledged the challenge it will be for both of us to increase our ability to demonstrate love in a manner that is outside our norm but we know the benefit to our marriage will be beyond measure.

Wives of the world in what ways can you or do you honor your husband's love language?  Do you know what your husband's love language is?  How full is his love bank?  Do you keep him with at least a 3/4 tank or is he almost on E on a regular basis?  One way to find out, ask him.  Take a moment to engage your husband in a conversation about love languages to find out if there is an opportunity to increase the emotional love money in your marriage.  Please share your stories with us.  By the way, if you do not have this book, get it.  Every marriage can benefit by intentionally increasing the exchange of the desired love language (http://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-That-Lasts/dp/0802473156/ref=lh_ni_t#_).


Blessings,

Rochelle

"Love is a language all to its own, it sings like music and is worth more than gold." RAS

Day 166 Honoring My Husband With A Prayer of Protection

I have come to learn that the Lord speaks to me through nature.  It has been through this experience, this blog, that I have come to this revelation.  I just love it when the Lord raises another level of awareness.  Bryan and I love the Discovery Channel.  Today begins Shark week where they share many stories about the lives of shark, previous attacks, beaches to stay away from, how to protect yourself if ever attacked and the different species of shark.  It is a wealth of knowledge yet sometimes scary since I love the water so much. 

As I watched one of the shows today where they spoke about the numerouse attacks that happened in 2008 the Lord revealed to me the correlation of a shark in beautiful water and the existence of the devil hear on our lovely earth. The shark show talked about how a shark willl watch its prey until it appears to be in its most comfortable position.  It will circle and staulk its prey awaiting the right moment to attack.  The shark is called the ocean's most majestic predator.  It is extremely quick and deadly and will overtake a victim before you know what hit you forcing the victim into an unexpected battle for their life.

As I listened to the narrator speaking I realized that the Lord was reminding me that this is exactly how the devil works.  He will wait until we are most comfortable and our guard is down.  He will come when we are surrounded by the beauty of what's important to us and he will attack when we least expect it often times throwing us into an unexpected battle for our spiritual, emotional or mental being.  The shark show talked about those who love the ocean, especially the areas where shark tend to have a higher concentration to always be prepared and to expect the unexpected. 

Today I am honoring my husband with a prayer of protection.  I pray for my husband every day asking the Lord to cover him, to keep his mind, to help him stay focused, and to help him be the man God would have him to be.  As a result of my revelation today, I am adding to this prayer, the prayer of protection from the cunning ways of the sharks on earth.  He has often shared with me how he sometimes gets worn down by the people he encounter.  Today I realize those people are like the shark in the water attacking his spirit without notification.  I am honoring my husband with a prayer of protection by adding to my daily prayer specifically that he is protected so that when the shark come he is able to see them coming and not let them tear away a piece of his spirit.

Wives of the world how can you honor your husband with a prayer of protection?  What are the shark in his life that your spiritual warfare can help contain or provide the necessary protection of your husband's spirit?  How can you honor your husband today or tomorrow with a prayer of protection?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle


"Prayer - do not leave home without it and do not send your loved one's out without it either."