Day 105 Honoring My Husband With Partnership

What a great day we had today.  It was hot, hot, hot, did I say it was hot. I could not believe how hot and humid it is here in Virginia.  We visited Busch Gardens and from the moment we entered the park we were drenched from the humidity.  Bryan loves roller coasters and I on the hand can do without them.  Typically when we go to amusement parks we have either our nieces, nephews or some other children with us to accompany him on the rides. Today however it was just me and him. 

I wanted to make sure we both had a great time so our compromise was to ride the water rides.  It served two purposes, he got to enjoy the thrill of the rides and we got to cool down for a while with the water.  The first one we went on I thought, oh that was a piece of cake so I dared to go on a second one.  It scared the heck out of me.  I screamed so loud I thought I injured my vocal cords.  We both had a great laugh out of it.  Today I honored my husband with partnership by facing my fears and ensuring we fully enjoyed our vacation.

We also visited an animal show while at the park and had the opportunity to learn more about the life of the Great Wolf.  At the end of the show I spent some time just watching the animals and began to think about how awesome our God is.  He created so many animals, creatures and critters and they all serve a great purpose on this earth.  I began to think about God's purpose for partnerships and how in just about every species there are partnerships.  I think this is absolutely beautiful and it made me wonder, beyond procreation, what is truly the purpose of our partnerships.  Today I honored my husband with partnership by not only ensuring I served as his ride partner in the park but also by raising the discussion about the greater purpose of our partnership here on earth.

Wives of the world how do you or can you honor your husband with partnership?  Have you ever had the discussion about the greater purpose of your partnership together beyond procreation?  There is a book I love called The Purpose Driven Life and in this book the author suggest that we write out the greater purpose for your life which I have done.  However we have never written out the greater purpose for our partnership which I am hoping to do rather soon.  Wives of the world how can you honor your husband with partnership today? Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective in deepening your understanding of every good thing we share for the sake of Christ." Philemon 1:6

Love does not consist in gazing at each other,
but in looking outward together in the same direction.

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery ~

Day 104 Honoring My Husband With Covering

Today Bryan and I embarked on our mini vacation.  It was a beautiful ride through the countryside of Virginia.  Bryan knows the area pretty well so we took the back roads, which was just beautiful.  Bryan reminded me that he had gotten a ticket in Virginia last year and although he paid the ticket they added additional fees that he did not pay which meant he probably should not be drivng in Virginia.  We wanted to make sure our weekend was not hijacked by an over zealous officer trying to make a name for himself.  So this meant I had to drive once we crossed the state line; which of course I was not crazy about, but I also did not want my weekend ruined. 

All that being said, I honored my husband today with a covering by having his back while we are enjoyed Virginia.  Typically when we go away Bryan does all the driving and I am able to read, crochet, sleep or just enjoy his company and conversation.  I truly believe this role reversal was God's plan. Bryan was the one really wanting to take a vacation and we had considered going to another state.  I realized today that had that happened he would have done all the driving and not have gotten the opportunity to relax as he did today.  It was my pleasure and honor to afford him the opportunity to truly relax, read, sleep and simply enjoy my company while I honored him with a covering. 

I learn more and more each day that absolutely nothing is a coincidence.  When the Lord says you need something and you speak it, he surely will make a way for it to be realized which is exactly what he did for Bryan this weekend.  He also taught me a very valuable lesson to ensure we both have the opportunity to fully relax on vacation so in the future I will do a much better job of sharing this load.

Wives of the world in what way do you or can you honor your husband with a covering?  Does your husband always drive you around while on vacation or at home?  Is this a task that is shared or is it more his responsibility?  Are there other tasks that you can share with him to cover his back?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear and learn from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Be someone's angel today by providing covering in an area of need."

Day 103 Honoring My Husband With A Compliment

Bryan and I recently purchased some property to build our retirement nest egg.  He typically does all the renovations himself but I shared on day 73 that he finally requested to have someone else do the work so he could have some free time and enjoy the summer.  I was glad to ensure we were able to do just that which has afforded us the opportunity to go away this weekend.  Normally he would be spending half the time working and the other trying to play catch up.

He completed the first property and the second one we gave to a contractor.  Today I had a great revelation about just how skilled and talented my husband really is.  I visited both properties today to meet one of the tenants and to check on the final product.  I have to say I was quite impressed.  When I compared the property Bryan completed it was heads above the property the contractor completed.  I was so proud of him and realized I really need to compliment him on his great work.  He had been telling me the one property was a step above the other but I did not expect to see such a stark difference.  So that being said, today I am honoring my husband with a great and well deserved compliment.  I do not know why I was so surprised; he has renovated many properties that looked very nice. 

Now here is the dilemma, I love the idea that he has benefited with free time to enjoy the one hobby he loves and I am glad both properties are just about complete; however I am not sure if I will want someone else to take care of a future project.  He does such good work.  Well for now, I will enjoy giving him the compliment and his free time.  I guess I will have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

Wives of the world how do you or can you honor your husband with a compliment?  Is there something that he does very well that you may take for granted?  Are you surprised at his ability in some areas?  If so, tell him how great he is and don't worry about him getting a big head.  If a compliment is well deserved it should be given.  When we lift our husband's spirits with a compliment we also lift up our marriage.  Statistics state they will carry that feeling of greatness for at least seven days.  Imagine the lift in your marriage.  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"I can live for two months on a good compliment." Mark Twain

Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

Day 102 Honoring My Husband With Playtime

Bryan and I love to travel.  Whether it is a trip to New York, DC, across the country or the world, we like to go.  Our work, life in general and the economy has slowed us down quite a bit in this area.  We used to take at least four major vacations a year and now we take about two and other shorter vacations.  Bryan had been talking about wanting to get away this coming holiday weekend as I mentioned in a previous post.  He wanted to go north and I wanted to go south.  We had the Poconos on the table, Myrtle Beach and a few other options.

When he asked me what I would like to do I stated, well actually I would like to take care of the outside yard.  I thought he was going to have a stroke.  He was adamantly against spending any time cleaning the yard this weekend; mainly because he spent so much time doing this at his properties this week.  His response was so interesting to me because I am the kind of person that will speak of something from a more theoretical perspective and he speaks and listens from a literal perspective.  So although I stated I wanted to clean the yard, I did not mean it actually had to be this weekend.  I have to remember our differences at times like this.

At the end of the day we will be heading south for the weekend.  We decided Virginia could offer us the best of both worlds, a beach, amusement park, shopping and other activities.  So today I honored my husband by planning our playtime for this weekend.   We both are so ready to just be and remove work out of our  minds for a few days.  I am looking forward to both of us rejuvenating and just enjoying each other's  company. 

Wives of the world in what ways do you or can you honor your husband with playtime?  How do you help ensure his and your focus is not all work, work, work but you add a little play, play, play to liven things up?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Play keeps us vital and alive. It gives us an enthusiasm for life that is irreplaceable. Without it, life just doesn't taste good." Lucia Capocchione

Day 101 Honoring My Husband By Prioritizing

Wow!  I am absolutely amazed at how fast the year is moving.  We are already one quarter of the way through the year and I feel like it was just yesterday we were celebrating the New Year.  As I headed into day 101 I really was at a standstill.  I typically go about my day and listen to the Lord and watch how he works or raises moments of inspiration.  Today was a day of work, work, and more work and I hardly lifted my head.  I wanted to attend an event at church and my choice was spend 5 - 6 hours attending the event or finish my client work and school paper.  I chose the latter because I really would like to spend this weekend not focusing on work but enjoying time with my husband.

As I began to write my blog today, I said Lord I was crazy busy today, help me see how I honored my husband according to your way.  His reply, prioritization, and that is exactly what I did.  I had sat down, made the list of things I needed to do, prioritized them by using the old Covey method of A, B, & C and went from there.  It worked pretty well except I did not get everything I would have liked completed.  In any event, today I honored my husband by prioritizing so we can have a good weekend whatever we choose to do. 

Wives of the world in what ways do you honor your husband by prioritizing?  How do you determine what's critical and what's not?  Do you focus on the little urgent things or the big important things during your day?  Intentional or not, we prioritize everyday by the choices we make.  How can you honor your husband by prioritizing today?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"I learned that we can do anything, but we can't do everything; at least not at the same time.  Think of your priorities not in terms of what activities to do, but when to do them." Dan Millam

Day 100 Honoring My Husband With Good Energy

Today was a sad day for all of us Oprah fans.  I am a big Oprah fan and was very saddened by the ending of her show.  It was such a source of inspiration, learning and personal growth for me.  At her closing today she spoke about energy and how it is everywhere and we take our energy with us wherever we go.  I found this interesting given I recently wrote a 20+ page paper about the Law of Attraction and the Law of Correspondence which pretty much speaks to exactly this concept.

The Law of Attraction and the Law of Correspondence both speak to the concept of us getting back what we put out.  In the book of Job and Proverbs the Bible speaks about us reaping what we sow.  One statement that Oprah made that I absolutely loved was, "Be responsible for the energy you bring into the room."  I thought, Wow! What a degree of accountability that brings to every individual that takes it to heart.

Today I am honoring my husband with good energy.  I know that our spirit, attitude and energy can change the dynamic of a room by just showing up.  I am taking responsibility for the energy I bring into the room by ensuring that I am carrying joy, happiness and the spirit the Lord with me wherever I go.

My work used to require me to travel across the U.S. and other parts of the world.   Every where I went, anytime I had to do a presentation, make a speech, and facilitate a meeting or any intervention with a group, I always prayed beforehand.  This was my way of covering myself to ensure I did not leave with any spirits I did not bring into the room.  I now realize I was also being responsible for the energy I brought into the room.  I am so glad I can look back on those times and know I brought good energy into the room. I am honoring my husband with good energy today because I want to attract to me good energy in return.

Wives of the world how can you honor your husband's with good energy?  What type of energy do you bring into your home?  Does the spirit of happiness, joy and cheer rise or fall when you are present?  How can you honor your spouse with good energy today?  Remember we all reap what we sow, so be sure to sow good energy so you get it in return.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"As I have observed, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it." Job 4:8

Day 99 Honoring My Husband With A Journey of My Heart

Today I am honoring my husband with a journey of my heart because I love to feel the presence of the Lord in my spirit and to feel Bryan's love in my heart when I take the time to just be and feel.  I came across this very interesting poem about searching inside one's heart to find true peace.  It reminded me of a time when Bryan and I were in the midst of making a life changing decision.  We had both heard the same thing from God but had come up against the timeline and needed to come to closure.  I asked him the question someone asked me about the situation which was "What does your heart say?"  That was such a powerful question because it really did get to the core of what we both wanted to do. 

When we listen to our heart, we are listening to God.  Please enjoy the Journey of the Heart article below.

Live your life from within your heart, for in this pursuit you will find your soul.  Your heart is the seat of all love and compassion. Your heart is the only place that will overwhelm you.  Therefore, become the consistency of your heart and you will find wonder all about you.

Think for a while about the abilities contained within your heart.  Peace is found there in abundance.  Love is shared with others.  When you become this love and become this peace, you will look and will find that you are within your heart.  Walk within your heart and see.  Look carefully and witness the many parts it contains.

You will see that the beauty and the secrets of the heart are for the enlightenment of your soul.  Therefore, listen to your heart.  It is by listening to your heart that you will find the outermost secrets of your desires. By doing this, you will transfer the wants of your hearts into the desires of your soul.  Watch your life change in perspective to the wonders you see.  If you listen to your soul and become your heart's desires, you will transform your life forever.  

Look, listen and become your heart.  When you become the essence of your heart, you move onward in life.  All will see the difference in your being.  All will notice the desires and the feelings you possess.  They will notice the changes you make in your life and begin to wonder at the newness of life you have found.

Therefore searach your heart for the Spirit.  Search your heart, for in the spiritual you will find life.  You sill discover your Creator's love is contained within your heart and minifests itself through your soul.  Remember that you are the heart of the universe.  You are the beauty of the heavens.  Learn to see, feel, and be the inclinations contained within yourheart.  In doing this, you will become and be altered.  You will become and be changed.  You will welcome these changes in your life and become at peace.

Author - Ronald Bissell

Wives of the world in what ways do you honor your husband with a journey of the heart?  How often do you allow yourself to just be, feel and experience the love of God and your mate through your heart?  It is said that taking a mental and emotional journey is like allowing yourself to go on a mini vacation, well allow  yourself  a mini vacation of love and take a journey of  your heart.  Remember to ask yourself, "What does my heart say?" Enjoy the ride and please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"People look at the outward appearances, but the LORD looks at the heart."  1st Sam. 16:7

Day 98 Honoring My Husband With Relief

Today's mail came with some unnerving news about one of my husband's prior tenants.  He had a tenant who I believe was or is a little off her rockers.  She tried to accuse him of breaking into her apartment, stealing her furniture when she in fact moved it herself, she was very irate and the neighbors could not wait for her to leave.  When she left she called the police and tried to accuse him of locking her out of the apartment when she in fact called him to say she had moved.

To make a long story short, she moved, broke her lease by four months and is now suing for an insane amount of money.  Bryan called me with the news and I could hear the sense of frustration and despair in his voice.  I also knew he had all the necessary proof to demonstrate this person is not operating with a full deck.  I encouraged him to take care of his work while I worked on responding to the claim.  I prepared the necessary documentation for him to return to court.  He was so relieved that he did not have to figure out how to address the situation and I was grateful that I headed up a legal department in my former life.  You never know when God is going to use knowledge he has imparted in prior years for a current situation. 

Today I honored my husband with a great sense of relief by taking on the task of handling a situation that is a huge nuisance and frustrating so he could focus on being productive with other aspects of his business.

Wives of the world in what ways do you honor relief for  your husbands when he may be dealing with a frustrating situation?  How do you help relieve the pressure and our anxiety so he focus on what's important.  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 97 Honoring My Husband With Praise

Today Bryan felt the urge to cook dinner which is something he rarely does.  He decided he wanted to experiment with making a tilapia fish dish.  To my surprise it was actually very, very good.  The fish was good and the accompanying side dishes were just as great.  So today I am honoring my husband with praise.
Praise because it is well deserved after he tackled a task that he would not normally do and did a nice job.

Wives of the world how do you honor your husband's with praise?  When was the last time you offered praise for him accomplishing what might have been to him a significant task?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you. 

Blessings,

Rochelle

"When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you." Deut. 8:10

Day 96 Honoring My Husband With Like Mindedness

Today Bryan and I had a pretty cool moment where we were on the exact same page.  I was on my way to a meeting and was thinking about how I wanted to spend the summer.  Over the past few years we have not done a lot of the things we love to do either because of his work and/or my traveling. I was thinking I wanted this year to be different and I wanted us to be intentional about enjoying this summer. 

To my surprise, Bryan called me while I was in the midst of thinking about what that might look like and he stated "Let's plan to go somewhere for Memorial Day!"  I could hear the excitement in his voice.  I could not believe that the Lord so worked it that we were on the exact same page at the exact moment about vacationing and enjoying our summer.  So today I am honoring my husband by following up on our like mindedness.  My first thought after we talked was how cool is it that neither of us have to try and convince the other why we should be intentional about spending more recreational time together this summer.  Stay tuned to hear all about our adventures, the first one I think will be to the Poconos for Memorial Day.

Wives of the world how do you honor your husband when you both are on the same page?  How do you ensure the acknowledgement of such a beautiful moment when the Lord has the two of you on one accord?  I felt it was a moment of oneness and felt blessed the Lord showed up in such a way.  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor." 1st Corin. 3:8 

 

Day 95 Honoring My Husband With Gratitude

Today is my birthday and my husband was considerate and romantic by beginning the celebration the night before.  He presented me with flowers a cake and card right before the strike of midnight to acknowledge the beginning of my day.  I was so surprised.  He usually waits until the morning and wakes me with a nice surprise so when he started it the evening before I was elated.

We had a nice dinner this evening and spent the rest of it just enjoying each other's company.  Today I am honoring my husband with gratitude because I am grateful for his thoughtfulness.  We had a little mix up in the location for dinner and my lesson was never assume anything and his was in the absence of data we make up our own stories.  So the morale of the lessons, ask the right questions and share the right information. 

Wives of the world in what ways do you honor your husband's with gratitude?  How do you let him know you appreciate his thoughtfulness?  Please share your stories with us; there are male and female readers who may get a great idea from you. 

Thank you Bryan for a nice birthday and thank you to everyone who called and sent me a note to say happy birthday.  I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts." Col. 3:16

"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." William Arthur Ward

Day 94 Honoring My Husband With Free Will

When Bryan and I got married the minister that married us told us to both look at our wedding party and to wave goodbye to them and our friends because we were to be tied to each other and not to our friends.  So of course we were obedient and wave while we both laughed.  We have always had a relationship such that it was important to maintain our relationship with our friends while maintaining respect for our marriage.

Today I honored Bryan with free will because although we have spent very little time together this week, he had the opportunity to go to the baseball game but was concerned about how I might feel about it.  I explained to him that I was fine with it because he rarely takes time to do something that he really enjoys.  So I spent the evening catching up on some work and was actually amazed at how much I accomplished.

Unfortunately, the Orioles lost today but the night wasn't wasted.  Since tomorrow is my birthday he came home and surprised me with a cake, flowers and card on the eve of my birthday and it was an awesome surprise and totally unexpected.  It is so nice when the small things in life are rewarded with great surprises.

Wives of the world in what ways do you honor your husband with free will?  Do you expect him to spend every free moment with you or do you allow space and grace for him to have time with friends.  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you. 

Blessings,

Rochelle

"God created the law of free will, and God created the law of cause and effect. And he himself will not violate the law.  We need to be thinking less in terms of what God did and more in terms of whether or not we are following those laws."  Marianne Williamson

Day 93 Honoring My Husband With Grace

So this must be the month for testing my commitment to this awesome process of honoring my husband for a year.  Yesterday was yet another day of challenges with long hours and more work than time.  I was so exhausted I barely made it home and when I got home the only thing I wanted to do was hit the bed so I did.  I did not realize until this morning that I had not completed my post and I was shocked and disappointed at myself for not remembering that I had not finished what I started.  However it is amazing how the Lord works.  Yesterday was my day to honor my husband with grace.

The Lord placed grace upon my heart when I noticed he had not left things the way I would have liked in one of our bedrooms.  I remember saying okay Lord with my mouth but not totally being there in my heart.  Well today when I realized I had fallen short on my commitment, the Lord gave me a good dose of how he gives us grace every single day.  So yesterday I honored my husband with grace while today the Lord supplied me with grace.  The Lord also reminded me of my 12 Commandments, one of which is to allow space and offer grace.  Sometimes we simply do forget.  Although I was still disappointed in myself I was also appreciative of the great lesson and reminder to allow space and offer grace. 

Wives of the world in what ways do you offer grace to your husband's?  Do you find yourself offering space and grace when your husband just simply forgets?  Remember God offers us grace every day.  How can you offer grace to your husband today?

Blessings,

Rochelle

"You are the most excellent of (wo) men and your lips have been anointed with grace, since God has blessed you forever." Psalm 45:2

Day 92 Honoring My Husband With A Smile

There is a new gospel song called Smile and I love the lyrics to it.  It talks about all the benefits of smiling.  How it is much easier to smile than to frown.  It speaks of the joy a smile brings to another and the joy it instills inside of us when we smile.  The lyrics say to "Just Smile." 

Today I honored my husband by smiling.  It had been a long and busy day and I still had work to do but I took a moment to spend some time with him and approached him with a smile to let him know I missed him throughout the day.  Many people often call me smiley or ask why do I smile so often.  I usually respond it is the joy in me.  Yet sometimes when we are busy and overwhelmed with what's before our smile may be more internal than external.  A simple smile can make all the difference in the world for how we handle the load of our day.  Today I honored my husband with a smile because I know it always makes a difference in his day as it does mine. 

Wives of the world in what ways do you or can you honor your husband with a smile?  Our husband's try so hard to make us happy; it brings them much joy to see us smile.  Especially when they know we may have a lot going on, they like to  know we are still feeling happy and joyful on the inside.  How can you honor your husband with a smile today to let him know of your joy?

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing."  ~Mother Teresa

"A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're at home."             Author Unknown

Day91 Honoring My Husband With Consistency

I had a crazy busy day today and the rest of my week does not offer much relief until Friday which I intentionally left open for my birthday.  I knew there would come a time when it would be more challenging than not to keep my commitment to the Lord in honoring my husband everyday and sharing my story about it.  Well I guess the 90's are that time.  It seems all kinds of mishaps have been trying to deter me from sharing my story about honoring my husband each day. 

The good news is no matter how challenging technology becomes or how tired I may feel I do believe there comes a time where you cross over from trying to just doing and being automatic about it.  I truly believe that although each day I get a new nugget, honoring my husband has become a part of my existence and I no longer have to think as hard about it. I am so grateful to the Lord for such a great experience.  I had no idea I had so many things to change to be the example I want to see.

Today I am honoring my husband with consistency.  In the midst of all the mishaps, when I could not share my story, in the presence of 100's of things to do I insist upon being consistent with my commitment.  Today I am honoring him with consistency in what I do, how I show up and the continued focus of allowing the Lord to work in, on and through me to be a better me each and every day no matter the challenge before me.

Wives of the world in what ways do you or can you honor your husband's by being consistent?  One of the best gifts we can offer is the gift of expectancy.  My husband has said on many occasions that he is so pleased I am not a drama queen.  He knows what to expect and need not worry about if I will be different tomorrow than I am today.  No one likes to worry about what they will get when they walk in the door each day.  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

“With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do."

Day 90 Honoring My Husband With Presence

This must be the period where I am to experience challenges with keeping my commitment to God in this process.  Last week Blogger was shut down and yesterday our home internet went on the blinks.  All the more reason I need to have a backup plan. 

Nonetheless the challenges have not prevented me from keeping my spirit intact with honoring my husband.  Today I am honoring him with presence.  We have a concept in organization development called staying in the present moment.  Basically it means to be totally present when working with a client so you can use yourself as an instrument of change.  Well after an intellectually fulfilling but mentally draining school weekend, presence is about all I could muster.  So I stayed present for as long as I could to have a brief conversation until my body shutdown and led my eyes to closure as I drifted off to the land of sleep.

Wives of the world in what ways do you remain present for your husband's so he knows you are there not only in body but in spirit as well even if your body wants to drift away to sleep land? 

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 89 Honoring My Husband With Promotion

Today was the day for my fellowship dinner and Bryan was to attend the reception prior to the dinner.  I was so excited about the possibility of my classmates meeting my husband.  I have been in the program with them for almost two years and have talked about him on several occassions and thus far only one other classmate had the pleasure of meeting him. 

In my excitement about the evening and the possibility of the class meeting him, I could not help but share so at the end of the day I stated to the class I am so happy you all will get an opportunity to meet my handsome hunk of a man.  They all got so much of a kick out of it and it heightened their interest in meeting him.  Unfortunately he got caught in some traffic and arrived late, but I found it quite interesting how many folks stayed to meet him before we headed to the dinner. 

Their excitement got me to thinking about how we as wives set the expectation about our mates in the eyes of others.  I am clear that I socially constructed their expectations of my husband with the intention of it being a good one and him having a good experience with them.  I wondered if they would have been just as anxious to meet him had I spoken about him negatively.  I also wondered if other wives thought it to boastful of me to brag about my husband's good looks or if they thought my intention was to imply their husband's were not in the same caliper when in actuality my intent was simply to publicly honor my husband by promoting how I feel and think about him.  When we arrived at dinner a fellow classmate shared with him what I had shared with the class and I could see him blushing as he listened to her rendition of my boasting about him. 

Wives of the world, in what ways do you honor your husband's with promotion?  How do you talk about him to your family, friends and coworkers in his absence?  If you were to run into your coworkers while hanging with your husband on the weekend, would you be concerned about what they might think or say since they can  now put a face to the name you have been using?  It is our role as wives to promote our husbands in a positively light in the presence of others.  If we do not do it, then who will.  Honoring our husband's through public promotion in his presence or absence is one of the greatest compliments we can give.  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"The joy one gets while promoting one's mate is incomparable."

Day 88 Honoring My Husband With Congratulations

Today was a celebratory day for Bryan.  He felt a great sense of accomplishment in having a recent property purchase over 90% complete.  He was pretty excited about it and I am looking forward to seeing the finished product.  He was not only excited about having it just about complete but also at the prospect of having tenants pretty much lined up to move in before all the apartments are at 100% complete.  I am very proud of his accomplishment and at his tenacity to get it complete and his pursuit of ensuring to have it done before the end of this month.

Today I am honoring my husband with a huge congratulations.  Although this is the work he does on a regular basis, I am most proud of how he does a great job of keeping cost at a minimum and still getting quality work done.  I know of another person who does the same work as him and quoted having a job done for almost three times the cost of what I know Bryan would pay.  I was astonished and felt a sense of pride knowing my husband has major connections and will not pay more than what he knows he can get it done for.

Wives of the world in what ways do you honor your husband's with congratulations?  Even when he does a great job at the work he normally would do, do you let him know you are proud of  him for doing it?  Our husbands likes to know we notice their efforts. Sometimes we are their only source of acknowledgement and appreciation. In what ways can you honor your husband with a congratulations?  Did he do a great job taking care of the yard or the kids recently?  Let him know how proud you are of his work.  It goes a long way.

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 87 Honored My Husband With Personal Care

Hello everyone, we are back in business. This has been an interesting past 48 hours, not being able to access my blog to make a posting.  Something that I  never thought would be an issue.  Fortunately, I continued to capture my posts in word so I could transfer them whenever the system was reactivated, so here is Day 87.

On day 87 I honored my husband with personal care.  I was granted a fellowship award for school and will be receiving it on tomorrow at an awards dinner.  Bryan wanted to make sure he looked his personal best for this dinner and I usually take care of his dreads.  It had been a long day for me and him yesterday but his hair needed to be done so I honored him on yesterday by providing personal care of his hair. 

I remember once having a conversation with someone about taking care of my husband's dreads and she stated, "I would never take on that responsibility."  My thoughts are touch is one of the most important aspects of intimacy.  Being afforded the opportunity to wash and freshen up my husband dreads is another way of demonstrating my love for him.  If you have ever heard of the book The Five Love Languages, one of them is action.  Bryan receives love through action and my doing his hair is a way he receives and experiences love from me so why would I give up that opportunity to express it.  I would encourage you all if you have not ever read the book, The Five Love Languages, it is a great read and provides awesome insight into how you and  your mate experience love at different levels. 

Wives of the world in what ways do you or can you express personal care for your husband's?  It is one of the great ways we can demonstrate love in action with our mates.  My sister shared with me she used to give her husband a manicure which he loved, another friend shared she used to give her husband a pedicure because he would never go and get one and another shared she shapes her husband's beard.  All of these are awesome displays of  honoring our husband with personal care.  Please share your stories with us on how you honor your husband with personal care; we would love to hear your stories.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Intimacy through touch goes beyond the four walls of the bedroom with one's mate."

Day 86 Honoring My Husband With A Confession

Today was a pretty busy and hectic day for me.  I have school this weekend and I truly felt like I have more work than hours before Friday.  I typically plan out my time but it so often seems and feels like no matter how much I plan things usually take longer than I anticipate which means something falls off the to do list. 

I was pretty frustrated today that I did not accomplish as much as I would have liked.  I usually pray for a productive day and I remembered I did not say that prayer this morning and man did I feel it.  So with my to do list longer than I would like, the time less than I need and the add ons that just came up, I was feeling a tad bit frustrated today.  So when Bryan came home although I was attentive I was a little snippy, which is so not me.  I do not even know if he recognized it, but I could feel it in my spirit.

So of course I had to share with  him my frustrations and confess my feelings of being snippy.  This is why today I am honoring my husband with a confession.  He may not have known what I was feeling but God knew and I knew and I also knew I was not my kind and loving self.  I did what I needed to do but not with the heart I usually have and should have had. 

Wives of the world how do you or can you honor your husband with a confession?  How do you let him know when your spirit is just not where it should be or where you want it to be to let him and God know you have some work to do?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Confession is good for the soul."

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." James 5:16

Day 85 Honoring My Husband By Sharing

This week the Lord surprised Bryan and I with a financial blessing.  When we were considering purchasing our home, the Lord spoke to me and said everything we need is on our land.  I later learned that the natural resources on our property are actually worth quite a bit.  We have nine acres of land, six of which are still wooded and filled with all different types of trees including Black Walnut which are worth from a couple of thousand up to several depending upon the size.  We also have huge boulder rocks which are also worth thousands.  Over the past year we have had the government purchase a portion of our land for a road expansion and a request from the developer who purchased the property adjacent to ours to allow usage of our land to build his development.  Each of these request have resulted in a financial gain on our part. 

This most recent surprise, we knew was in the works but had no idea about the timing.  The request was made about 3 years ago, so it was a nice surprise to hear about it on yesterday.  I was excited because I wanted to replace our deck and get the backyard patio tiled.  When I shared with Bryan that the attorney had the check for us he had a different idea about how to use some of the funds.  He is a boater and last year winter storm destroyed his bimini top, so of course he saw this as an opportunity to get it replaced.  My first response was it is going to cost how much to get a new bimini top?  Hence the dilemma, so I did what I always do and took it to God.  His response, the first thing you need to do is pay your tithes,  the second thing was the question; "In what way can you honor your husband in this situation?" 

So today I am honoring my husband by sharing.  It is not that I am not a sharing person, because I am.  I probably share too much.  I just thought the cost was a little steep, but then I had to realize it is his one major enjoyment and hobby in life, being on the boat.  The funds are well over enough to get both our request fulfilled.  He will be able to get his new bimini top and I will be able to get my new deck and both just in time for summer.  We will both have the enjoyment of the other's request.  God is so good!  Neither of us wanted to use existing funds to cover the expenses of these requests, so they were put on hold.  I can't wait to enjoy the beauty of my back yard as well as sailing on the seas this summer.

Wives of the world, in what ways do you or can you honor your husband's by sharing?  How do you find the win/win when it comes to getting both and possibly opposing desires fulfilled financially without breaking the bank?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." Norman McEwan

Day 84 Honoring My Husband With Affection

Today I am honoring my husband with affection.  We have been apart for the past couple of days and I missed him dearly.

Wow! I wonder what happed to the rest of my paragraph.  I noticed when I logged on today that only one sentence from this post was reflected.  I guess it was all I really needed to share and the rest was not as important.  That being said, this may go done on record as my shortest post ever. 

Wives of the world, how do you honor your husband's with affection after being absent for a short time?  Bryan is not the overly affectionate one in our marriage, I am.  Sometimes I wish he was more so but it is what it is.  This year is about me being the change I want to see, so if I want more affection than I have to give more affection.  Which is what I did?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder yet too much distance can make the heart go yonder."  Affection is yet another way to demonstrate love in action.

Day 83 Honoring My Husband By Honoring Our Mothers

Happy Mother's Day! To all my private and public readers, I hope your day was filled with an overflow of joy and blessings.

Today I honored my husband by affording both of us the opportunity to honor our mother's on their day. Bryan spent the day with his Mom in Baltimore and I journeyed to New Jersey with my siblings to honor my Mom. The Lord tells us in his word to honor thy mother and thy father. As I reflected on this commandment it dawned on me that honor starts first in the home when we are of young age. I then realized that if we are not able to honor our parents or those who served that role for us, we may not know how to honor our mates.

Today I honored my husband by honoring our mother's because without them neither of us would know how to honor, love and respect each other. It is very true that this starts at home. I can remember being very young and getting angry with my father and if in my anger I said something that was not honoring him, my Mom would put a stop to it immediately and explain to me why I could not speak ill of my dad even in my anger. I believe this was the early stages of me learning how to honor my husband and I thank our mom's for giving of themselves that we might be able to give of each other.

Wives of the world, in what way do you or can you honor your husband by honoring your mother or father? 

Blessings,

Rochelle

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12

Day 82 Honoring My Husband With A Helping Hand

My husband and I have different perspectives about clean and the time it may take to really clean something.  He needed to have the restaurant clean for inspection so he could keep his license.  With all the things he had on his plate, he asked if I could take care of preparing it for inspection.  When I asked him how long it would take he said it should take about an hour. 

Well of course an hour in theory was three hours in reality.  Nonetheless I honored my husband with a helping hand by ensuring the restaurant is prepared to pass the inspection on Monday morning.

Wives of the world, how do you honor your husband with a helping hand?  In what ways do you help make his load just a little lighter than anticipated?

Blessings,

Rochelle

"In about the same degree as you are helpful, you will be happy." Karl Reiland

Day 81 Honoring My Husband With Committed Love

When I started this journey I really wanted to have some great insights from all the research I was going to do.  Well life, school, church and of course my marriage took precedence over the research.  However of late I have become more and more intrigued about what is out there about this phenomenal union called marriage. 

I spoke with a friend recently who shared with me that the great writer Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love has a new book called Committed.  If you are a fan of Gilbert's than you know all her work is research based.  I thought how cool is this, I wanted to do research, time would not allow so God had someone do the work for me and it will cost me less than $10 to get it.  I know I serve an awesome God!  When I embarked on the journey to understand more about this book I came across an interesting write up and somewhat of an excerpt.  It stated the following:

For all the variability in the meaning of marriage, one fairly consistent element over time and place was that it had nothing to do with love. “For most of history it was inconceivable that people would choose their mates on the basis of something as fragile and irrational as love and then focus all their sexual, intimate, and altruistic desires on the resulting marriage,” Coontz writes. In fact, loving one’s spouse too much was considered a threat to social and religious order, and was discouraged in societies as disparate as ancient Greece, medieval Islam, and contemporary Cameroon. The modern Western ideal of marriage as both romantic and companionate is an anomaly and a gamble. As soon as people in any culture start selecting spouses based on emotion, the rates of broken marriages shoot up. “By unnerving definition,” Gilbert writes, “anything that the heart has chosen for its own, mysterious reasons it can always unchoose.”

I do not know how you feel about that but I was shocked and felt a sense of sadness.  Today I am honoring my husband with committed love because I would not have it any other way.  The God I serve is all about love and there is a full chapter in the Bible called Song of Solomon that speaks of a great committed love and romance.  I am honoring my husband today with committed love because I chose him and he chose me.  Not out of convenience or happenstance but because of love.  I believe Gilbert is correct, "anything that the heart has chosen for its own mysterious reasons it can always unchoose."  And I also believe anything that the heart has chosen; the heart can continue to choose that same person every day.  It's called commitment which is of course the title of her book.  I can't wait to dig into her research.

Wives of the world, in what ways do you honor your husband with committed love?  How do you ensure him every day that you are in it for the long haul?  When I say committed love, I am not just speaking about staying in a marriage.  There are plenty of people that stay in an unhappy marriage for their children, financial reasons, status etc.  I am speaking about the making the commitment to allow yourself to be loved and to give love at all times.  Now that is a challenge.  I believe it is what Jesus calls unconditional love.  Please share your stories with us about how you honor your husband's with truly committed love.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Acceptance of the power of God in one's life lays the groundwork for personal commitment to self and to others." 

Day 80 Honoring My Husband By Slowing Down

The week is just about over and I am feeling like it has already been a full seven days.  I have been extremely busy this past week to the point of neglecting my husband on yesterday and today was not too much different.  Today I am honoring my husband by slowing down my pace.  I have four projects for my business, two projects for church, two for the collaborative coaching program I am engaged in and too many to count for school.  This week it has caught up with me.  I am quite exhausted and feel like if I lay my head down anywhere I will be out.

Today I am honoring my husband by slowing down the pace by establishing some boundaries for myself about what I can get done in a realistic timeframe.  I guess this really could be why my cooking has not been the greatest lately. My mind is in a million places except the kitchen.  I am honoring my husband by slowing down to ensure we have the necessary time we need to connect on a regular basis as we normally do throughout the day and with my mind, body and spirit in the present moment. 

Wives of the world, in what ways do you honor your husband's by slowing down the pace?  How do you let him know he has your undivided attention when needed?  How do you stay in the present moment when the to do list is greater than the hours available to get them all done?  Please share any great secrets you have with us; we would love to learn from your experiences.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop." Ovid

Day 79 Honoring My Husband Through Conviction

Today I am honoring my husband through conviction because it has been an incredibly busy day for me.  I had a client meeting from 9AM - 3:00PM and then I had a two hour phone conference about the ministry I am leading at my church.  After that I came home made dinner and worked on my school and ministry project until after 11PM.  I usually stop what I am doing when he comes home but this evening I knew if I did not complete what I needed to complete it will back up my day tomorrow.  So no need to say, I gave my husband very little of my time today and the Lord is surely convicting me as a result.

It is kind of difficult to honor your husband if you do not give him the necessary attentiveness.  Fortunately he was very understanding of my workload for the day but that does not excuse my behavior.  He calls my computer my best friend and today it certainly was that because I have been in front of it all day long.

Today I am honoring my husband with conviction because of my obvious neglect of him this evening and throughout the day.  We talked only very briefly today when typically we talk several times a day.  So I say to him, my apologies Bryan for being somewhat absent today. 

Wives of the world in what ways have you or do you need to honor your husband through conviction because of your behavior?  What systems have you put in place to ensure you are giving him the necessary attentiveness on a daily basis?  Please share with us.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"The Lord will let you know when you have stepped out of his intended path through the devine intervention of conviction." Rochelle Arnold-Simmons

Day 78 Honoring My Husband With Representation

When Bryan and I first got married, I was out shopping one day and a woman gave me a compliment. She told me she thought I looked very nice and well put together.  She noticed I was wearing a ring and said something like "I know your husband is very happy or proud to have you."  I responded well I hope he is but why do you think so.  She said a wife is an extension of her husband and every time she walks out her door she is representing him.  I found her wisdom quite intriguing but do not believe I took it too seriously at the time. 

Today when I reflect back on that brief interaction I do believe I took to heart her comments more than I cared to admit to myself.  However I would like to think my representation of my husband is more importantly linked to the woman I am on the inside than the outside.  Anyone can make themselves look good, but just because you look good does not mean your heart is in the right place.

Today I am honoring my husband with representation as it relates to matters of the heart according to the Lord.  I am honoring him with representation because I truly hope each time I am in the presence of others they see the love of Jesus exuding from my heart through their experience of me and uses that to inquire about my husband being proud.  I belong to a book club and we just completed the book No Greater Love by Mother Teresa.  It was filled with awesome biblical insights and there was this wonderful prayer that her Missionaries of Charities organization read on a daily basis.  I share this prayer with you, as it is now one of my favorites as well.

Dear Lord:

Help me to spread your fragrance wherever I go.

Flood my soul with your spirit and life.

Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly that all my

life may only be a radiance of yours.

Shine through me, and be so in me that every soul

I come into contact with may feel your presence in my soul.

Let them look up and see me no longer me, but only you, O Lord!

Stay with me, then I shall begin to shine as you do;

so to shine as to be a light to others.

The light, O Lord, will be all from you; none of it will be mine;

it will be shining on others through me.

Let me thus praise you in the way you love best, by shining on those around me.

Let me preach you without preaching, not by words but by my example,

by the catching force, the sympathetic influence of what I do, the evident fullness

of the love my heart bears to you.

Amen

by John Henry Newman

Wives of the world, in what ways do you honor  your husband's with representation?  When others are in your presence do they admire or are saddened for your husband because of their experience with you?  How can you honor your husbands today with representation?   Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear and learn from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Listen now to me and I will give you some advice, and may God be with you. You must be the people’s representative before God and bring their disputes to him." Exodus 18:19

Day 77 Honoring My Husband With Sensitivity

Today I am honoring my husband with sensitivity.  Sometimes our mates will experience things where the only thing we can do is pray.  However I believe in order to be in a place to know that we need to pray is to be sensitive to and understanding of their needs which goes back to being humble.

Being sensitive sometimes simply means providing a listening ear, a welcoming heart and an understanding spirit.  Leadership guru Stephen Covey says to seek first to understand rather than to be understood is the key to building a healthy relationship whether it is with a spouse, a friend or child.  Today was a time to simply be sensitivity and allow my presence to say more than words ever could.

Wives of the world in what ways do you honor your husband with sensitivity?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"To be always in a state of curiosity is a kind of sensitivity that can be an extraordinary blessing."  R.A.S.

Day 76 Honoring My Husband With Humbleness

Some of my friends find it interesting, funny and a little old fashion that I serve my husband.  Serve him meaning if he wants a sandwich I will fix it and bring it to him or fix his dinner and bring it to the table before him.  This is something I have done since we have been together and I know my husband finds much joy in it.  Early in our marriage he used to brag about it in a loving way to his friends.  I know it is something that boosts his spirits and helps him to feel king of our castle and I feel good about being able to do it.

Today I heard a very touching story about a mother teaching her child about being humble.  The lesson she wanted him to learn was "Humble before Honor" and I thought Wow! I wonder if this may be the barrier to what the Lord calls submission or even honoring Jesus.  In order to honor the Lord we have to first have a humble heart and as the Lord says, when we honor him we are honoring our husbands.  So this would mean we need to be humble before our husbands in order to honor them.  What an awesome discovery.

Fortunately, I believe humbleness is what has given me the ability to serve my husband in the capacity that I do.  I do not do it because I see myself lower than him or giving up something, but I do it because I see myself as his equal yet his wife.  The Lord says in the book of Mark 10-:45, For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and give his life as a ransom for many. 

Today I am honoring my husband with humbleness because I want to ensure that I continue to have a  servant heart so that I can continue to honor him long past the ending of my 365 days.  If you find that it is hard for you to serve your husband, then I would encourage you to check your heart to see what's holding you back.  Do you think it is beneath you?  One thing I know for sure, when I treat my husband like he is a King, he treats me like a Queen.  So in essence it is reciprocal and something that raises the love bar in one's relationship.  Those of you that join me in this practice, I say keep it up. Even if your husband has never said he appreciates it, he does and will.  It is one of those things that give them a lift and reason to poke their chest out.  Those of you that find this challenging, I would encourage you to think about my reasons for starting this blog.  It was to be the change we want to see by starting with ourselves. 

Wives of the world, in what ways do you honor your husband's with humbleness?  How do you demonstrate God's word of serving instead of wanting to be served? Let us know if you decide to take on the five day challenge and how it goes, we would love to hear your stories.  One of the greatest experiences I had was when I began to serve in the Lord's kingdom.  He is the greatest boss I know, the rewards are well beyond any incentive plan I have ever had in the work environment.  I say that to say I get almost the same enjoyment out of seeing my husband smile when I serve him.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"I served the Lord with great humility.." Acts 20:19

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 2 Chron. 7:14