"Men care about appearance" - You don't need to be a size 3, but your man does need to see you making the effort to take of yourself-and he will take on significant cost or inconvenience in order to support you.
I have been exercising pretty much all my life, however it seems since I crossed over the hump from early 40's to late 40's my normal exercise plan has about as much impact as it does to pour water into the ocean. The effort is much greater than the impact. That being said I have put on a few pounds and I'm really not happy about it. Over the past three to four years my weight has been up and down and up and down. Today with my schedule and school work it is more up than down. Bryan has never mentioned anything about my weight except that he likes me a little more heavier than I care to be; so I was a little surprised when he recently commented about my weight gain.
This gave me pause to want to know more about this revelation. Today I am honoring my husband's truth. According to the author, our appearance is a big deal to our husbands. They believe when we do not take care of ourselves we do not care about them or our relationship. Her findings indicate it actually has an emotional impact on them. The men she interviewed called it our blind spot. He stated,
"I don't think women know how important it is to take care of themselves and not to look like a slouch around their husbands." The men went on to say that it is not about the weight, but it is more about appearance. Some of the interesting quotes included:
- "When you take care of yourself, I feel loved."
- "When you don't take care of yourself, I feel unvalued and unhappy."
- "I want and need to be proud of you."
- "When you take care of yourself, your expectation that 'I only have eyes for you' feels fairer and easier to accomplish."
- "If she puts some effort into her appearance and is comfortable in her own skin, you don't notice the extra pounds."
Today I am honoring my husband's truth about my appearance. I'm glad we have the kind of relationship that he can share this truth with me although the author noted most men will not. My question became so now what, how do I step up my game to get myself back in the shape where "I" am comfortable. Today I am honoring my husband by being intentional in strategizing how to get back into my size 12 clothes. I know it will be a challenge but I am up for it. We are planning a vacation for November and my intent is to look really good in my bathing suit. Good thing I love working out.
Wives of the world how can you honor your husband's truth about your appearance? What, if anything do you need to do to help him keep his eyes focused on only you? Do you walk around the house in sweats, flannel PJ's and over sized clothes or do you ensure your husband gets a good dose of excitement each time he sees you regardless of your weight? The one thing that struck me about her research is that our husband's are not so much concerned about our weight as they are concerned about us taking care of ourselves and our appearance. How can you honor your husband's truth about your appearance today? Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.
Blessings,
Rochelle
"Beauty may only be skin deep yet your appearance is the first thing they see; how do you want to be remembered in his dreams." RAS
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