Day 225 Honoring My Husband's Mood

My husband deals with the public every day.  Sometimes he comes home and I can tell he has been beat down by the pressures of his work. Today was one of those days.  I really wanted to share some of the trials I experienced in my day but as I looked at him I could tell he really needed his man cave.  His eyes said I can't think another moment.

Today I honored my husband's mood.  Although I was ready to engage him in much conversation, I recognized it was not what he needed most.  I thought about the concept of CHAIRS from day 207; one of them was his need for shoulder to shoulder friendship and I believe today was one of those days for just that so that is what I am providing.

Wives of the world how can or do you honor your husband's mood?  Do you take it personal if he is not mentally or emotionally able to meet you where you are at the end of the day?  How do you honor his mood when it is different than yours?  How can you honor his mood this week?  I have to say the ability to honor my husband's mood is definitely a learned behavior.  There was a time when I did not understand his need for cave time and that presented some challenges in our early years.  I am so grateful for marital growth and discovery, for it is the salvation of any good marriage.  Please share your stories about how you can honor your husband's mood.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"The warmth of one's touch is just enough to soothe the soul of another." RAS

Day 224 Honoring My Husband's Discernment

Discernment, the gift that keeps on giving.

My husband and I are both gifted with the spirit of discernment.  The best part about it is that our gift  shows up in two different ways.  We are able to support each other because God shows us different things.  Bryan is phenomenal at recognizing the character of people almost immediately.  He has often amazed me at his ability to read a person at an initial meeting only later to be proven correct.  He can see right through to some one's character.  Because of his keen sense of discernment there are times when we may disagree.  I give everyone the benefit of the doubt however if he sees something negative that aligns to his initial assessment or if he sees something negative that contradicts his initial positive assessment, it is a closed case for him.  I on the other hand try to reason the good in every situation.

A while ago he shared with me that he did not think someone had my best interest at heart.  He believed the friendship was based on what the other person got out of the relationship.  He felt I was always on the giving end while the other person was on the receiving end.  Of course I continued to give this person the benefit of the doubt.  I recently had an experience that raised my awareness and validated what Bryan already knew.   This revelation saddened me but I sat in appreciation of this new awareness.  Now the question becomes, so now what.  I do not know what lies ahead and will allow God to lead me according to his will.  In the meantime, I am honoring my husband's spirit of discernment.

What is so amazing to me is that although he believes with conviction what he sees when it comes to our relationship with others, however he does not always seem to trust this same gift when it comes to business.  I guess that is why God put us together so we can watch out for each other in both arenas.  I feel blessed to know Bryan always has my back and best interest at heart.  It is like receiving a gift that each time you unwrap the first box there is another one wrapped inside awaiting to be exposed.  It is the gift that keeps on giving.  Even though I continued to give the person the benefit of the doubt, I always had in the back of my mind what Bryan believed so I know God used him to reveal my blind spot. 

Wives of the world in what ways do you or can you honor your husband's spirit of discernment?  Maybe his discernment does not come in the form of knowing the character of others, but maybe it comes in the form of the children, the household, your family, or the finances?  I believe that the Lord gives all of us the gift of discernment to some degree in some area, and it is up to us to recognize and appropriately use that gift.  How can you honor your husband's gift of discernment today?  What has he been trying to tell you that you do not see and because you do not see it, it is not real for you?  How can you honor, respect and unwrap his gift today?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"I thank God for the spirit of discernment, it is like intuition on steroids." RAS

"And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge

and all discernment." Phillipians 1:9 KJV

Day 223 Honoring My Husband With A Lesson On Leadership

Sometimes God will make us our own teachers without us being aware of what is happening.  Today I had a pretty big eye opener in regards to this.  I am responsible for developing leaders in my church and today was the first day of Leadership School.  Today's lesson was about being balanced and leading with influence.  One of our church ministers taught the session on balance and I taught the session on influence but we had collaborated on our work.

As I sat listening to the lesson on balance I realized that it truly was a lesson I needed to have and apply for myself.  The topic was specifically about how as a church member or leader in the church we may feel guilty when we are not able to be at church, or will schedule our vacation, family activities or even self care around church.  The lesson went on to speak about how being out of balance is not what God intended for our lives. 

I recently had a conversation with Bryan about how much time I spend at the church.  We live 60 miles away and he was concerned about what the travel time is costing me in gas.  I shared with him how guilty I felt that since I left my corporate job I have not been able to contribute financially to the church like I used to so I now give more of my time to compensate.  He understood but so did I.  The lesson this evening had me take another look at how I can better balance the time I give to the church with everything else going on.  I had the epiphany that God does not want us to to be guilted into serving beyond our realistic capacity.  I felt like a huge load had been lifted off my shoulders.

Today I am honoring my husband with a lesson on leadership.  The lesson is that Jesus wants us to be great leaders that live a life of balance.  He knows my heart and wants me to better balance my time at home with my time at church.  Honoring my husband with this leadership lesson is like having a new leash on being a servant leader for Christ.  It is so awesome when the Lord releases us in a new way.

Wives of the world how can you honor your husband with this lesson on leadership?  Is there something that you are overly committed to, church, work, extended family or friends that may be impacting your time with your husband?  How can you honor your husband with this lesson on leadership today?

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other." JFK

Day 222 Honoring My Husband With Dedication

Today seemed to have flown by and before I knew it the day had come and gone.  Today I am honoring my husband with dedication because all though I fell behind I'm still committed to the cause.  I guess there is such a thing as work taking over the mind. 

Wives of the world how can you honor your husband with dedication?  Have you fallen off the wagon with anything and need to re-dedicate yourself to it?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday."  Author Unknown

Day 221 Honoring My Husband's Truth

Today I am honoring my husband's truth about how he feels about my appearance.  On day 155 I shared     the seven revelations from Shaunti Feldhahn's book "For women only".  Revelation number seven is:

 "Men care about appearance" - You don't need to be a size 3, but your man does need to see you making the effort to take of yourself-and he will take on significant cost or inconvenience in order to support you.

I have been exercising pretty much all my life, however it seems since I crossed over the hump from early 40's to late 40's my normal exercise plan has about as much impact as it does to pour water into the ocean.  The effort is much greater than the impact.  That being said I have put on a few pounds and I'm really not happy about it.  Over the past three to four years my weight has been up and down and up and down.  Today with my schedule and school work it is more up than down.  Bryan has never mentioned anything about my weight except that he likes me a little more heavier than I care to be; so I was a little surprised when he recently commented about my weight gain.

This gave me pause to want to know more about this revelation.  Today I am honoring my husband's truth.  According to the author, our appearance is a big deal to our husbands.  They believe when we do not take care of ourselves we do not care about them or our relationship.  Her findings indicate it actually has an emotional impact on them.  The men she interviewed called it our blind spot.  He stated,
"I don't think women know how important it is to take care of themselves and not to look like a slouch around their husbands."  The men went on to say that it is not about the weight, but it is more about appearance.  Some of the interesting quotes included:

• "When you take care of yourself, I feel loved."
• "When you don't take care of yourself, I feel unvalued and unhappy."
• "I want and need to be proud of you."
• "When you take care of yourself, your expectation that 'I only have eyes for you' feels fairer and easier to accomplish."
• "If she puts some effort into her appearance and is comfortable in her own skin, you don't notice the extra pounds."

The author concluded that if we, as wives are not realistically happy with our overall appearance and fitness level, assume he is not either.  WOW!  Now this was a revelation.  I know my husband cares about my appearance but I did not know it actually impacts him emotionally if he feels I am not.  I must say I am pretty proud of the fact that I do take care of myself and although I have gained some weight, I know I carry it well.  This revelation has helped me to realize that if I am not happy at my current weight, my husband may very well take issue with it as well.  Just the mere fact that he mentioned it gives me room for pause considering he never has before. 

Today I am honoring my husband's truth about my appearance.  I'm glad we have the kind of relationship that he can share this truth with me although the author noted most men will not.  My question became so now what, how do I step up my game to get myself back in the shape where "I" am comfortable.  Today I am honoring my husband by being intentional in strategizing how to get back into my size 12 clothes.  I know it will be a challenge but I am up for it.  We are planning a vacation for November and my intent is to look really good in my bathing suit.  Good thing I love working out.

Wives of the world how can you honor your husband's truth about your appearance?  What, if anything do you need to do to help him keep his eyes focused on only you?  Do you walk around the house in sweats, flannel PJ's and over sized clothes or do you ensure your husband gets a good dose of excitement each time he sees you regardless of your weight?  The one thing that struck me about her research is that our husband's are not so much concerned about our weight as they are concerned about us taking care of ourselves and our appearance.  How can you honor your husband's truth about your appearance today?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Beauty may only be skin deep yet your appearance is the first thing they see; how do you want to be remembered in his dreams." RAS

Day 220 Honoring My Husband With Mercy

Okay so yesterday I honored my husband for the shift I have noticed in his behavior.  Over the past few weeks it has been hard to miss.  However today I am honoring him with mercy.  He had committed to making dinner today and conveniently forgot. Today I am honoring my husband with mercy. 

I was not happy about him falling back on this commitment; however I know I serve a God that offers me mercy every single day.  I had no energy to try and change the situation so I decided to let it be with a simple reminder.  I was also reminded that it is Sunday and it is football season.  I truly believe he had forgotten that detail himself when he made the offer.   I guess progress for a few days is better than no progress at all.  It seems there is a lot of truth in the notion that when we take two steps forward we take one step backwards.  Today I am honoring my husband with mercy for the steps backwards and acknowledgement for the steps forward because there is also truth to the notion that we have to take two steps backward to propel forward.  I'm looking forward to the accelarated progress.

Wives of the world in what ways can you or do you honor your husband's with mercy?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"And the LORD said, “I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion." Exodus 33:19

Day 219 Honoring My Husband's Shift

Today was one of those days where I simply spent time reminiscing on the past few months of this  journey and wondering so what new insight will today bring.  At the end of the day I realized there was no new major insight or epiphany however I did notice a shift in my husband's behavior.  There was a time when I used to take on all the responsibility of the household in terms of cooking, cleaning etc.  I began this journey to be the change I wanted to see.  Although I often wanted more balance in our marriage in terms of taking care of the home, I had just about given up on that conversation.  Today I am honoring my husband's shift as it relates to this topic.

On yesterday as we pondered on what we would have for dinner Bryan stated, don't you have a paper due and I said yes, he then proceeded to say he would take care of dinner so I could work on my paper.  I thought I would fall out of my chair.  It was a little late in the evening so we ended up going out to dinner but then he offered to cook the next day to allow me the necessary time to complete the paper.  It is not that he has not offered to cook dinner before because he has, however it has not typically been in the context of recognizing my workload. Today I am honoring my husband's shift.  It is an acknowledgement that when you change the world around you also changes.  How cool is that!

He has mentioned several times over the past couple of month's that he has noticed a welcomed change in me so I am pretty sure it has had an impact on him as well.  I have noticed that I have not had to remind him about taking out the trash, changing the outside light bulbs when they go out,  or fixing some recent minor household repairs and that has been very nice.  Last week I acknowledged and thanked him for taking care of those things without me having to request it.  I could see his chest sticking out just a little bit further after that conversation.  I thought, now that was a nice deposit in his emotional bank.

Wives of the world in what way can you honor your husband for a shift he has made as a result of any change you have made?  What change have you noticed in him and how can you honor him for it?  Acknowledgement of changed behavior is always a deposit in their emotional bank.  What deposit can you make today?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"By being the change you want to see you create the environment you desire to have." RAS

Day 218 Honoring My Husband With Overflow



 I'm singing in the rain,
just singing in the rain;
What a wonderful feeling,
 I'm happy again

 When it rained on my birthday when I was very young my grandmother told me it was raining because   the angels were crying with joy because I was a year older.  That has stuck with me my entire life and it has rained on my birthday every since that day no matter where I have been in the world.  Well today the angels must have been crazy excited.  The rain was truly in abundance.  At first I was a little unnerved by the rain and as I proceeded to my car, after waiting for two hours for it to stop, I was near the Baltimore Harbor and as I walked along the marina pier I could see zillions of raindrops falling into this body of water.  It was as if the rain and the body of water were creating music together.  It was fascinating to watch.

As I walked I began speaking to the Lord and asked, what does this mean Lord. I have shared before that the Lord has been speaking to me through nature through this journey and I knew my being intrigued was more than a mere coincidence.  It has rained several times over the past month but this was the first time I was curious about a greater meaning.  The Lord answered my question by letting me know that the raindrops represented the frequency of his blessings in my life. 

As I continued to walk I noticed several puddles. They were everywhere I stepped.  My shoes, pants and bag got soaked before getting to my car. I again asked the Lord what did all this water mean. The Lord then let me know that I was experiencing the water as overflow because that is how much he loves us.  I was stopped in my tracks.  I was no longer bothered by the puddles but began to actually enjoy walking in the rain and through my blessings.  I then thought okay Lord, I know you love me and I know you love me unconditionally, what are you telling me?  It was then that the Lord revealed just as I was experiencing the water as overflow of his love for me, he wanted Bryan to experience my love as overflow in the same manner.  All I could say was Wow!  The water took on a new life for me and I became a kid in a playground full of puddles.  I wondered how many people actually thought I was a little off as I actually played and danced in a few of the puddles along the way.  My shoes getting wet no longer mattered.

Today I am honoring my husband with overflow.  I wondered so what can I do today to begin to represent my overflow of love for him and there before me was my answer.  I walked passed the French bakery that I know he loves and purchased his favorite dessert.  It was a small gesture but one that will mean a lot to him.  He loves, loves, loves their eclairs.  Having the Lord speak to me so clearly about his intentions was awesome and I truly believe that his intentions are being realized with this journey.  I know that my husband knows that I love him, however I do not know if he experiences my love to the degree I experience the love of Christ.  Today I became even more clearer about how important respect, submission, unconditional love and being of service to my mate really means.

Wives of the world in what ways can you honor your husband's with overflow?  How can you help him experience your love like you experience the unconditional, overflowing love of Christ?  I sit in amazement at how the Lord continues to teach me more and more about how to truly honor my husband.   I know buying my husband a surprise dessert is only the tip of the iceberg and I also know it's the little things that often make the greatest difference.  How can you honor your husband with overflow today? Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"This is what I want you to do: Ask the Father for whatever is in keeping with the things I've revealed to you. Ask in my name, according to my will, and he'll most certainly give it to you. Your joy will be a river overflowing its banks! John 16:23

"A rose must remain with the sun and the rain or its lovely promise won't come true. "

Ray Evans 

Day 217 Honoring My Husband With A Make-Up

Yesterday I had to apologize to my husband because of  my poor planning and gross under estimation of  time, however today I have the pleasure of being able to make up for that faux pas.  Things went much smoother than anticipated and all of what we had planned for yesterday we are well positioned for this evening. 

Praise God for the 1 Minute Hug,
it is like making up every day.

Today I am honoring my husband with a make-up, a make-up cuddle, kiss and session. I'm sure you ladies are aware of how wonderful make up sessions (if you do not know what a session is, check out the post on day 150 to learn more)  can be.  I believe research has proven that we bring all the emotions with us during that time which deepens the sensation of the experience.  I'm quite excited to let him know just how sorry I was for having to change our plans.

Wives of the world in what ways can you or do you need to honor your husband with a make-up?  What have you promised that has fallen through the cracks.  Making up is another one of those things that I just love because they are such awesome win wins.  You win, he wins, and the kids win (if you have any) because you get the serotonin going, smiles are brighter, laughs are deeper and there is typically lots of joy in the morning.  If you do not have anything to make up for,  do it for the sake of doing it in advance of having to apologize for something because of all the benefits attached.  Think about how full your emotional back will be when you need to make a withdrawal.  Enjoy your make up sessions today.

Blessings,

Rochelle

                   "Making up is easy to do when you lead with your heart."  RAS

Day 216 Honoring My Husband With Regret

Today was one of those days where nothing went as planned.  My intentions were to start my day early,  run my errands, pack for my conference tomorrow and spend the evening with Bryan. Well as the saying goes, the best laid plans do not always come to fruition.  I had failed to account for a coaching session I had today, so that set me back a bit and I grossly underestimated how much time it would take to get my hair done.  All that being said, at the end of the day I was not positioned to spend a quiet evening with Bryan as planned. 

Today I am honoring my husband with a great sense of regret.  I really wish I had done a much better job of estimating my time and had not forgotten about the session that was on my calendar.  I got home pretty late and instead of spending the evening together, I spent the evening preparing for the event tomorrow which as everything else went today, that took much longer than anticipated.  Our printer kept going on the brinks, my computer was acting up, and we ran out of ink.  Just about everything that could go wrong did and I am sitting with sadness even as I type today's post.  I truly wanted to have everything all ready for tomorrow, relax in Bryan's arms this evening and be ready physically, mentally and emotionally for tomorrow.  Today I am honoring my husband with regret for not doing a better job of planning my time and my day.  I know he was just as disappointed as I am.  I am so glad joy cometh in the morning.

Wives of the world in what ways have you honored your husband with regretful feelings? When have your intentions been filled with possibility only to be shot down by your own unintentional doing?  With all that transpired today the one thing I wanted to make very clear, is to let Bryan know of my huge regret for the evening not working out as planned.  Although a sorry can never take the place of our presence, acknowledgement of the error of our ways can help heal a wounded spirit.  How do you need to honor your husband with regret today?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Today's regrets can be tomorrow's rainbows." RAS

Day 215 Honoring My Husband With Reservations

Reservations are blissful!

Today I am honoring my husband with reservations.  We have been anticipating the opportunity to go on  an extended vacation but have been awaiting my completion of school.  Today I am honoring my husband with reservations by placing on hold two possible locations for our vacation in November.  The closing ceremony for my program is November 20th and I have been saying for several months that I want to be on a plane heading somewhere south on the 21st.  Bryan has been saying he has been waiting two years to have a vacation where I am not occupied with doing school work.

I guess this is one of those win/win situations.  I am honoring him by making reservations and I will truly benefit from the outcome.  He has been saying for a couple of weeks that if we are going to go somewhere we need to make reservations now and I could not have been more excited.  It is truly my pleasure to honor him with reservations.

Wives of the world in what ways can you or do you honor your husband with reservations?  Are you both in need of some time away to unwind, rest and just enjoy each other's company?  How can you honor your husband today with reservations, even if it is to your favorite restaurant on date night, a night away from the kids, or an afternoon rendezvous?  Sometimes a simple change of scenery creates a change in attitude which changes bad feelings to good and impacts a relationship in a positive manner.  How can you positively impact your relationship today by honoring your husband with reservations?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Today I learned a new definition for reservations, sheer bliss." RAS

Day 214 Honoring My Husband With Pride

I sometimes listen to a radio personality named Michael Baisden.  He has a syndicated show and talks about several different topics.  Today's topic was marriage so of course I was intrigued.  As I listened I was quite disappointed in some of the messages being delivered.  At one point he mentioned that it is time women stopped submitting to their husband's and asked why do women need to submit.  He mentioned something about this being new day and submission a thing of the past.  I was really curious about his position and wondered from what place was he speaking.

It then dawned on me that this is a man that is over 40, not married, not a Christian and clearly not in a position to speak about marriage from a biblical perspective.  It saddened me that the message he was sending was being heard by millions, several I'm sure that are married and possibly struggling with the aspect of submission.  I was on my way to a meeting and not in a position to hear the entire segment, but I did get to hear a guess he had who spoke about the importance of demonstrating respect to one's husband in language.  This message left me with a sense of pride about the idea of submitting to my husband. 

Today I am honoring my husband with pride, not in a boastful manner which can get in the way but the kind of pride that is subtle and exuberates from the heart with joy.  The kind of pride a parent has when their child accomplishes a great goal, or the kind of  pride that comes with buying your first home.  I am honoring him with pride because the Lord says as wives we are to submit to our husband's and I am very proud to be a wife that follows God's word.  The Lord says we are to submit to our husbands.  The journey of honoring my husband has helped me to gain more clarity on what that means.

Wives of the world how can  you honor your husbands with pride?  Are you proud to be the kind of wife that follows God's word instead of the word of the world? How can you honor your husband with ?
pride on today

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 213 Honoring My Husband With Exhilaration

YEH! The last day of class.
The joy of joint accomplishment.

Today is an exciting day for me; it is the last day of class in my program.  I cannot believe that two years  has come and gone and I am so excited for the blessing of completion.  It was a joyous day and it was a sad day.  I have spent the past two years building relationships with the other 18 members of my cohort so it was sad for it to end yet joyous that we have completed the program.

Today I am honoring my husband with exhilaration.  As I end the program it affords me the opportunity to spend more time at  home and hence more time with Bryan.  Although I have three final papers and the comp exam to complete, I am basking in this moment of joy.  I was quite exhausted on yesterday and still tired today but I feel so much lighter knowing most of the work is behind me.  Honoring my husband with exhilaration means I am allowing myself to properly thank him for his patience, support, love and encouragement over the course of the program.  There were times when I did not know if I could do the work or finish a project and he was always very encouraging.  Today I honor him with exhilaration because we made it through two years of school together.  He has made a huge sacrifice to allow me to quit my job, go to school full time and start my business.  I have a wonderful husband and today I a honoring him with exhilaration because of it.

Wives of the world how can you honor your husbands with exhilaration? What has he done that has filled your heart with joy or has allowed you to accomplish something you always wanted to, yet it required a sacrifice not only on your part but his as well?  How can you honor him with exhilaration on today?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory." George S. Patton

Day 212 Honoring My Husband Through My Fatigue

Tomorrow is the last day of class for my master's program and I truly believe they tried to get several months of work into a few weeks. Tonight I am honoring my husband through my fatigue.  As I prepare for a preliminary comprehensive on tomorrow he is on my mind and in my heart.  We did not get the opportunity to speak too much today, so I am missing his presence and his voice as I turn down for the evening and thank God for the day, my journey, my husband and life.

Wives of the world in what ways can you or do you honor your husband through your fatigue?  Please share  your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Great is the power of habit.  It teaches us to bear fatigue."

Day 211 Honoring My Husband With Joy

First I'd like to share the PRAISE report.  While Bryan was in North Carolina he located the only person that could help clear up this land situation with the state.  She had all the certified and notarized documents that proved her right to sell the property and therefore his right to purchase.  God is good all the time and all the time God is good.

This weekend is my last weekend at school.  I am filled with all types of emotions as a result.  I am excited because I will have more time to spend at home, I am sad because the journey is coming to a close, I am joyful about the future possibilities, I am concerned about completing the practicum report and comprehensive exam all at the same time.  However I am mostly filled with joy.  Today I am honoring my husband with joy.  He has been very supportive while I forged through the completion of this program and I am filled with joy as I think about all the great things we will be able to do together once the program is totally complete.

Wives of the world how can you honor your husbands with joy? 

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 210 Honoring My Husband With the Armor of God

Today Bryan had to take a trip to North Carolina for business.  It was a last minute trip to protect his business interest.  Apparently the state of North Carolina is trying to take possession of land he purchased several years ago claiming the person that sold it to him did not have authorization.  All I could say is thank the Lord my husband is a Christian man and has learned to manage his anger.

Today I honored my husband with the armor of God by ensuring that we were all prayed up before, and during his trip.  I know my husband can sometimes have a temper but I also know he is a brilliant business man and will not allow his anger to impact any business dealings.  My prayer was about asking God to shield him with his armor of protection in his travels, in his mind and in his being. I prayed for wisdom in this situation and clarity of actions to be taken; and for God to help him locate the right people, the right representation and for him to receive the information that will be critical for this process. 

Wives of the world in what way do your husband need to be honored with the armor of God?  In what area of his life could he use the support of your direct line to Jesus to help him through to victory?  How can you honor your husband today with the armor of God?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Is not this the God who armed me well, then aimed me in the right direction?  God's name is a place of protection— good people can run there and be safe. You protect me with salvation-armor; you touch me and I feel ten feet tall. You cleared the ground under me so my footing was firm." Samuel 22:31

Day 209 Honoring My Husband With Compassion

Wednesday was the day for Bryan to go to court to face the tenant that caused major problems and frustrations to everyone who encountered her.  Although Bryan went in with several witnesses, documentation and a clean record as a landlord; the judge ruled in favor of this insane tenant on a technicality.  What was interesting to me was the fact the judge chose to ignore the facts that the only reason why the technicality existed was because of her sabotage. 

Of course Bryan was not happy about it.  Mainly because he went in with hopes in the justice system.  It was a sad reminder that it does not matter how much proof you have, when going before the court system the judge can rule however they choose which is a travesty.  Today I honored my husband with compassion.  He was quite disappointed at the outcome and the state of our justice system.  I could not help but think about how many people in our prison systems that are innocent and got convicted because of a judges impartiality or how many have gotten off on a technicality. 

I am so grateful that my final judge is Jesus.  He is a judge that provides grace and mercy, takes into account all the evidence and determines our fate based on facts.  I'm so glad we serve such an awesome forgiving and grace providing Lord.  Today I honored my husband with compassion and I could do that only because of the compassion the Lord shows me everyday. 

Wives of the world in what way can you or do you honor your husband with compassion? Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"God, your God, is above all a compassionate God. In the end he will not abandon you, he won't bring you to ruin, he won't forget the covenant with your ancestors which he swore to them." Deut. 4:29

Day 208 Honoring My Husband With Grooming

Tomorrow is a big day for Bryan in court.  The story I shared on Day 98 continues on tomorrow when he goes to court to share the truth and hopefully have the case dismissed.  Yesterday I could tell he was a little concerned about the case because his prior tenant is a lose cannon.  This evening as we discussed the case I noticed that Bryan's dreads were not in the condition I thought they needed to be when going before the court.  Today I honored my husband with good grooming.

He had mentioned that he needed his hair tightened however I did not bring any of the normal products with me to the city, so improvise we did.  In the midst of improvising I realized that the substitute product was actually doing a better job than the one we typically use.   Today I honored my husband with good grooming by taking care of his dreads to prepare him to stand before the judge on tomorrow.  When it comes to court, fortunately or unfortunately the judge has all power, my hope is that on tomorrow they see the stories for what they really honor and my husband with a dismissal and issues a judgement from the damage caused by the tenant.

Wives of the world in what ways do you honor your husband with good grooming?  How do you help him look his best when necessary?  How can you honor your husband with good grooming today?  Please share your story with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 207 Honoring My Husband With CHAIRS

 Yesterday I pulled out another book I purchased in the not so far past.  The book is entitled Love & Respect,  The Love She Most Desires, and The Respect He Desperately Needs by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.  I heard from a very good source (thank you Orsolya) that it is one of the best books on the market for those serious about following God's design for marriage.  The author speaks about the concept of providing more energy for your marriage through a process called CHAIRS.  It is an acronym that stands for six major values that our husbands hold:

• Conquest - His desire to work hard
• Hierarchy - His desire to protect and provide
• Authority - His desire to serve and to lead
• Insight - His desire to analyze and counsel
• Relationship - His desire for shoulder to shoulder friendship
• Sexuality - His desire for sexual intimacy

The concept of CHAIRS is intended to teach us wives how to spell respect (there goes that word again) to our husbands.  Today I am honoring my husband with the concept of CHAIRS.  My intention is to review each of the concepts and share my learning's with you.  Yes I know I probably have a few more learning's left to share about the 7 Secrets to a Happier Marriage and the 7 Revelations and now I am adding CHAIRS.  Don't worry I have not forgotten and will continue with each of them in the near future.  Stay tuned as I continue to dissect how we can be the change we want to see by honoring our husbands according to God with CHAIRS.

Wives of the world how can you honor your husband with the concept of CHAIRS (no it does not include using one to knock him over the head)?  Please feel free to join me as I learn more about respecting and honoring my husband using these concepts.  I can't wait to see what I learn.  I am truly beginning to see a pattern in all of the marriage material so I am really interested to see if there are some simple yet impactful lessons.  So far the best lesson has been the 1 minute hug.  They were truly dead on with that one and if you have not incorporated it into the welcoming of your mate, you are truly missing a treat.  Please share your stories with us; as you follow along the journey of using CHAIRS.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Deeply respect God, your God. Serve and worship him exclusively. Back up your promises with his name only." Deut. 6:13 The Message

Day 206 Honoring My Husband With Remembrance

Today I am honoring my husband in remembrance of the September 11th events.  As I watched the many  stories and recollections of the day our country was changed forever it left me with a great sense of pride and sadness all at once.  I am not a big fan of tennis but today I had the opportunity to hear Queen Latifah sing our country's anthem as the opening of the Tennis Masters.  At first I was quite surprised at the melody at which it played and then I was intrigued.  The melody had somewhat of a Caribbean, Latin, and Jazz rhythm that was quite soothing.  As she sang with the choir in the background men from the U.S. Marines unfolded the American Flag to the melody.  It was such a beautiful sight that it brought tears to my eyes.  I remember saying to myself, I love this country.

Today I am honoring my husband in remembrance because I know it is only by the grace of God that I have the opportunity to share my love for him when so many lost their husbands 10 years ago today.  I listened to several personal stories last night and today my Pastor wanted to be sure our church acknowledge the significance of 9/11 as a congregation.  There was something about watching the events of that day all over again while in the presence of the Lord. It was a clear reminder that God is always in control.  No matter who or what tries to tear you down, God will always put you back together. 

Today in remembrance of 9/11 and to all the children, wives, husband, mothers and fathers that lost loved ones I send my heartfelt prayers to you that God has kept you, given you peace in your heart and has provided for all your needs.  May you continue to rest in his arms of comfort and find joy throughout the remainder of your years.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"May God's grace, blessing, peace, love and joy fill the hearts of us all that we may honor the memory of those lost on that day and find the LOVE we all shared and needed across the nation." RAS

Day 205 Honoring My Husband With Insight

I am so excited to be coming to the end of my Masters program, however it is really taking a toll on my time.  I have three more months and it feels like they are trying to jam six months of work into three.  In any case Bryan has been wondering why I have been spending so much time behind the computer, in the books, using flip chart paper, on conference calls, and video conference much more than I have the entire two years.  So I had to shed some light on the workload. 

Today I honored my husband with insight by giving him a perspective on the work that needs to be accomplished.  I have been up since 5:00 AM this morning and I am off to hopefully get a good night sleep so we can enjoy church tomorrow.

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 204 Honoring My Husband With Optimism

Today I came across a book in my library that I did not remember was there.  The book is called "The Good Marriage - How and Why Love Lasts" by Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee.  I was looking for something else and there it was.  My immediate thought was I clearly have had a curiosity about marriage for quite some time.  I recently gave a few books to a fellow classmate that recently got married.  One was entitled "Before You Say I Do" and the other was called "The DNA of Relationships" by Gary Smalley. 

When I came across the book I began reflecting on just how long or how many books about marriage I have purchased over the years and the books I purchased before Bryan and I got married.  There have been quite a few.  As I read the first chapter in the book called "The Good Marriage" I realized why.
The authors shared a story about being in the room with over 100 women, married, divorced, widowed and single.  They were embarking on the journey to research the secrets to a good marriage and they asked the group to tell them what it is like to be in one.  They were surprised at the cynical laughter they received.  Many of the women made remarks like, good luck or surely you are not referring to my marriage and other remarks of similar nature.

As I read the content it reminded me of some of the comments I received when I shared with folks that I was starting a blog to honor my husband.  I received similar cynical remarks.  I was very saddened by some of the comments I heard and felt the same today as I read the book that was written almost 12 years ago.  It was a national bestseller and I wondered if it was a bestseller because folks were seeking to understand how to have a good marriage or because they believed one did not exist.  In any event I began really thanking the Lord for my marriage and the commitment Bryan and I have made to each other.  I still wonder how different many marriages would be if both the husband and wife made a conscious choice to honor and serve each other.

Bryan and I by no means have a perfect marriage but are both the product of divorced parents. We vowed our commitment to work things out at the onset and because of that, today I am honoring my husband with optimism.  I know there are a lot of marriages that are struggling; we have had our share of challenges over the years.  By no means do I suggest anyone that is in an abusive marriage should take the abuse.  Yet I know there are many marriages that are good where both parties are happy.  I am honoring my husband with optimism because I believe that is something that has pulled us through with God leading the way.  I believe in the sanctity of marriage and I believe God can truly work out anything when he has put two people together.

Wives of the world in what way can you or do you honor your husband with optimism?  How can you look to the good, forgive the bad and stay focused on the goal of commitment?  Where is your optimism barometer when it comes to your marriage on a scale of 1 to 10?  How can you get it to be off the scale?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other.."

1st Corin. 7:2 The Message

Day 203 Honoring My Husband With Protection

Praise the Lord, I am so grateful for the wisdom of others.  After my intervention on yesterday Bryan decided he wanted to do things a little different with this potential partner.  Instead of a corporate partnership he will simply lease the property to this person which keeps the liability in the hands of the person operating the establishment.  I was so excited when Bryan shared this news and his change of heart.

Today I am honoring my husband with protection.  It is now my task to ensure the lease agreement encompasses all the necessary nuances to protect Bryan's interest.  It is so interesting to me that legal skills I gained close to twenty years ago are now of critical value to my husband.  I am honored at the opportunity to ensure the lease agreement is intact and financially protects both parties.  I am surprised at how excited I am to offer this service to my husband.  I am so used to him protecting me in so many ways that I feel privileged to return the duty.

Wives of the world how do you honor your husband with protection?  In what way do you or can you ensure his interests are protected in exchange situations?  Is this something you enjoy doing or prefer to leave it to the professionals?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"God's name is a place of protection - good people can run there and be safe." Proverbs 18:9-11

Day 202 Honoring My Husband With An Intervention

This past week my husband surprised me with a venture he has entered into.  Several years ago he purchased a property that houses a restaurant.  He never intended to run the restaurant but when the person leasing the property decided not to continue he was faced with the decision to keep it going to maintain the liquor license. 

Over the past few years it has been opened and closed a few times for several reasons.  However most recently he has partnered with a very well known chef to operate the business.  He had decided to go into a legal corporate partnership with this person.  Although I had not met the person, bells began going off in my head about the potential financial liabilities.  To make a long story short, today I honored my husband with an intervention by talking to my cousin an accountant about the best way for Bryan to be protected in this situation.

His main concern was that he did not want the property sitting and not brining in any income and my concern was that I do not want him to be legally and financial tied to someone he does not know.  Fortunately my cousin helped us come to agreement on how to handle the situation.  Turns out we were both accurate in aspects of our positions we just needed to combine the two thoughts to ensure  the relationship with this partner is salvaged and Bryan is protected financially.  He was happy I intervened and feels a lot more comfortable with the path forward.  I just praised the Lord for having someone I could call upon to get some good objective counseling.

Wives of the world in what ways do you, can you or have you honored your husband with an intervention?  How have you intervened to help  him make sense out of a situation?  Most times I stay out of Bryan's business, however I know enough to know that when I am uncomfortable with something he is about to do, I cannot ignore those feelings; as they may cost him and me in the end.  Sometimes it is as simple as him deciding on which tenant to choose for an apartment and other times it is something major like today.  I just feel blessed that the Lord has gifted me with the spirit of discernment to know when I need to step in.  Please share your stories with us; we would love t hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Pay attention to the voice inside, it is the God within us providing direction for the necessary intervention." RAS

Day 201 Honoring My Husband In Thought

Today was just one of those days where I was busy from sun up to sun down.  The only thing I could do  was honor my husband in thought.  I had a major presentation to prepare for so my head was in the books and on the computer.  I stopped twice in the midst just to give Bryan a call to say hello, hear his voice and to know that he was having a good day.  When he arrived home I got my one minute hug and was right back at it.  It was just what I needed to forge forward and what he needed to begin whining down his day.  Praise the Lord!

Wives of the world how do you honor your husband in thought?  How do you let him know he is on your mind when your day is full beyond capacity?  Have you been too busy to lift your head up to give him a call to say hello or simply I'm thinking about you?  I realized a long time ago that often times when I am thinking about Bryan he will be thinking about me as well.  How can you honor your husband in thought today?  Pleas share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"With our thoughts we make the world." Buddha

Day 200 Honoring My Husband With Exhilaration

It has been quite the busy couple of days.  Praise the Lord for the ability to post via blackberry.  Today I honored my husband with exhilaration because I cannot believe it has been 200 days since beginning this journey.  I was just over joyed with excitement, my ability to keep it going, the amazing insights the Lord has been providing.  It has been challenging at times and it has been rewarding.  Today I am honoring my husband with just pure joy! 

A few weeks ago I shared I would provide an update on how the 7 secrets to a happier marriage is going.  Well I have to admit the 60 second hug has been phenomenal.  I do believe it does make for a happier marriage.  I believe it has raised the notch a bit for me and Bryan.  There is just something about resting in the arms of your loved one with nothing between you but your heartbeat.  It feels awesome and I find myself anticipating it each day. 

We also began the best friend questions which have made for some interesting, funny and engaging conversation.  If you have not tried it, please do so.  I would bet there is at least one thing new you learn about each other.  Today I honored my husband with exhilaration in celebration of 200 days of honoring my husband. 

Wives of the world in what way can you honor your husband with exhilaration?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory." George S. Patton

Day 199 Honoring My Husband With Authority

I am so grateful for my best friend (my computer) and technology.  Today as I am in New Jersey with family I was able to be blessed by the word of my Pastor via the internet and what a wonderful message he delivered.  The word came out of the book of Colassians and was about having a special assignment from God.  It was such a confirmation for me in many areas of my life.  One being this blog and the other my ministry, http://www.strategiestoglory.com/.  I truly believe the Lord has called me to do the work required in both of these areas.

One of the things my pastor spoke about was the concept of authority.  He related it to marriage and the husband having authority over the wife.  He stated that so many marriages fail because of a lack of understanding about what it means to submit.  He noted that many women are challenged to allow their husband's to have authority over them because they are not comfortable with the relationship.  He stated when we have accepted being in the relationship that we are in, we respect our partners.  When we lack acceptance, we lack respect. When we lack respect we cannot allow them to have authority.  He went on to say "You can have a PhD and allow someone you respect to have authority over you." 

Today I am honoring my husband with authority.  I must admit that before taking on the assignment of honoring my husband I probably was challenged in this area in some cases.  Mainly because I had no idea of the depth at which respect lies with a man and sometimes the mere aspect of questioning a situation can feel disrespectful to them. And also because I realized that deep inside sometimes I was not sure of his ability to do something.  Questions like, Can you do that? or Do you know what you are doing? or Why did you do that? or statements like, Let me do it. or Let's call so and so, he can do it. Each of these questions and questions can be and typically are received by our husbands as if we do not believe in them or hence respect their abilities. 

Today I can say this past several months has taught me a lot about what it  means to honor and respect my husband which positions me to allow him authority over me without question.  I am proud to say my husband has authority over me and I am fortunate enough to know that he will not abuse this authority.  It is my honor and privilege that God would afford me such a blessing.

Wives of the world in what ways can you honor your husband with authority?  Do you allow your husband authority over you? In what area is this a challenge for you or in what way does your husband feel challenged in this capacity? How often do you question his abilities or his way of wanting to handle a situation. Begin bridging the gap by entertaining the conversation.  We only get better by doing better.  I love Maya Angelou's famous quote, "When you know better, you do better."  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

I, Paul, have been sent on special assignment by Christ as part of God's master plan. Together with my friend Timothy, I greet the Christians and stalwart followers of Christ who live in Colosse. May everything good from God our Father be yours!  Colossians 1:1-2

"When you make peace with authority you become authority."  Jim Morrison

Day 198 Honoring My Husband With Resistance

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Today we had such a great time at the family cookout.  It is always so wonderful to see how the younger generation has grown, to see how the babies are no longer babies, and to watch as folks who passed each other every day but did not know they were related find out that they are.  We have a very large family and I am always amazed that this still happens at least once a year. It actually happened to me at a cookout for my paternal family a while back.  It was the first time that side of my family had gotten together and there stood a former high school classmate.  I thought he was married to a cousin and turns out he was the cousin.  We had spent four years in the same homeroom during high school and never knew we were related.   Amazing!

In any event today I honored my husband with resistance.  I love, absolutely love motorcycles. Yet my husband does not.  Today one of my cousin's arrived at the cookout with about 10 of his motorcycle buddies.  I truly wanted to ask one of them to give me a ride but knew that riding on the back of a stranger's motorcycle is probably not very honorable of my husband.  So, I resisted the temptation to get a 15 minutes thrill ride.  It reminded me of the story I shared about Holly Robinson-Peete honoring her husband by changing doctors.  Bryan never said a word to me about it.  He saw how excited I was about the possibility yet I knew in my heart he would not have been happy about the idea.

Today I honored my husband by resisting the temptation to do something I love.  It would have been great to have my cousin give me a ride but he had just gotten his license and did not feel ready to have a passenger.  Unfortunately for me, he would have been the only one where it would have been acceptable.  Obviously it was not meant to be.

Wives of the world in what ways can you or do you honor your husband's with resistance?  What choice have you, would you or do you make when it comes to choosing to do something you love or honoring your husband?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from  you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Every moment of resistance to temptation is a victory." Frederick William Faber

Day 197 Honoring My Husband With Transportation

Tomorrow is our family's annual cook out in New Jersey.  It is such a great time where all our family gets  together and simply enjoy the presence of all the love.  Bryan had several things to take care of today which required him staying over until tomorrow.  He has been working from 8AM till 11PM for the past several days.  My task was to bring the bread.  So I have about 12 bags of hot dog rolls and 12 bags of hamburger rolls to get to New Jersey in time for folks to enjoy their meals.

Since Bryan had to stay over, my original plan was to take the train or bus up myself but then I had a revelation.  It is easier for Bryan to take the train or bus on tomorrow and that will give him time to rest before he arrives.  It kills two birds with one stone.  I get to arrive on time so the kids are not eating their meat without bread and Bryan gets to rest while he is in route. I just love it when thing work out that way. 

Today I honored my husband with transportation which will allow him to arrive well rested and not stressed by avoiding the holiday traffic. 

Wives of the world in what ways can you or do you honor your husband with transportation?  How can you take a load off of him so he is refreshed for whatever activity you have in mind?  Please share your stories with us: we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

Day 196 Honoring My Husband With Technology

The computer, the new man's or
woman's best friend.

Ladies it is that time of year again, football season.  If your husband is anything like mine this is the time to block off the times of the home games on the calendar as the "No Talking" time.  Or the time of year where I can get other things done because he will be occupied in front of the TV.  Although I am a big sports fan relatively speaking, I think on a scale of 1 - 10 I am about a 7 with professional football and a 5 with professional basketball, yet I know I do not come close to my husband's 10 squared in both arenas.  I have even considered joining the Baltimore Ravens wives' club but I feel a little guilty given my original favorite team is the New York Giants.

One of my favorite movies is Any Given Sunday, it was the film that changed how I felt about football. I loved the action, drama, intensity and the character's portrayal.   I was able to get a glimpse of the behavior before, after and during the game which kept me engaged.  Since that time, I was hooked. 

Today I am honoring my husband with technology.  I was working at my second office today, Panera Bread, when Bryan called and asked if I could tape the Baltimore Ravens game.  I explained to him that I was not home, however I could use my best friend (he calls my computer my best friend) to activate the DVR to tape it.  He was ecstatic.  It felt really good to hear his sigh of relief to know that he would get to see the full game. 

Wives of the world how do you or can you honor your husband with technology?  Do you tape his favorite shows or sports when he will be home late?  This is how Bryan actually got the idea.  Last year when the season started and I knew he was rushing home I taped the game and he was beside himself with excitement.  What  is so interesting is that I purchased the DVR several years ago so that I could tape the Oprah show while I was traveling.  Now that Oprah has said goodbye to daytime TV, I was thinking the DVR was not serving us much purpose and then comes along football season.  Ladies how can you honor your husband using technology?  Whether it is your snazzy iPhone, droid, DVR, or HDTV skills, in what way can you make his life a little more pleasurable with technology?  Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"It may not always be profitable at first for business to be online, but it is certainly going to be unprofitable not to be online." Esther Dyson

"Technology is not the wave of the future, it is the voice of today.  Get on board or find another planet."