Day 124 Honoring My Husband by Keeping It Simple

Today I came across a great website about marriage.  It was called Simple Marriage.  One of the posting was about 6 ways to soothe yourself to a better marriage.  Below are the suggestions that were listed.  I love the idea of keeping it simple in marriage.  It is so easy to make a mountain out of a molehill so the concept of keeping it simple had me thinking about the impact this could have not only on our marriage but also on our spirit.  The suggestions were:

1. Don’t take your partner’s behavior personally. Even if your partner doesn’t make all the changes you’ve made, don’t take it personally. If you and your partner are having a conflict, try some inwardly focused relaxation techniques. Focus on your breathing. Stop talking and try to slow your heart rate. Lower the volume of your speech and work on relaxing your body. In other words, you take care of you.
2. Keep the current conflict in perspective. Think about past instances of the same type of conflict. What resources did you use in the past for dealing with the conflict? Think about how discomfort will surface again in the future – and if you learn now how to deal with it, you will be better off in these future instances.
3. Control your behavior, even if you can’t regulate your emotions. While you may have difficulty in controlling your emotions, especially in the face of a conflict, you can have control over your behavior. Prevent yourself from saying and doing things that you will regret later. Tell yourself: “I don’t have to take action on my feelings.”
4. Stop the negative thinking. Thoughts drive your feelings and behavior. When you find yourself engaged in negative thinking, make the change to more positive thoughts. Accept what is happening – then calm down.
5. You may have to break contact temporarily with your partner until things cool down. When you are engaged in a conflict, you may need some time to get in touch with your self again. Look on this as a time-out, not a separation. Tell your partner that you need some time alone to calm down and that you can discuss the issue better later, after both of you have had some space from each other.
6. Self-soothing does not involve substance abuse, the abuse of food, or emotional regression. You need time to confront yourself and understand what your part in the conflict may be. This does not mean hiding out, sleeping, binge-eating, or the use of drugs or alcohol, which are all ways to avoid self-confrontation.

Today I am honoring my husband by keeping it simple because just as Forrest Gump put it, life if like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get.  If we chose to have our spirit disrupted each time we tasted something that was not fitting to our taste we could live a life with a frustrated spirit.

Wives of the world in what ways can you or do you honor your husband by keeping it simple?  What do you need to keep simple today?  Please share your stories with us we would love to hear and learn from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle