Day 18 - Honoring My Husband Through Respect

Wives of the world, take heed, according to research this one is HUGE.  Did I say HUGE? Well yes, it is HUGE! Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, author of the book Love and Respect says that after polling 7,000 people with the question, When you are in conflict with your spouse or significant other, do you feel unloved or disrespected?  83% of the men said they felt disrespected and 72% of the women said unloved.  Another poll with the statement, In the middle of a conflict with my wife/significant other, I am more likely to be feeling.....81% of the men completed it with, That my wife/significant other doesn't respect me right now. 

I know many of you are probably saying you already respect your husband, because that is how I felt. I would never intentionally disrespect my husband.  Well the key word is intentionally.  Dr. Eggerich's goes on to say that a man deeply needs the woman in his life to respect his knowledge, opinions, and decisions, hence his judgement almost all the time.

As I read this it reminded me of a time early in our relationship when Bryan would get very upset with me when I would question him about directions.  We would be driving along and the curious me would ask or say something like "Why are we going this way?" or "Is this the right way?" to him, I was asking Do you know where you are going? or saying, I don't trust you know where we are. To me, because I am directionally challenged and because I often speak my thoughts, I just wanted to have perspective on where we were for future reference.   This was a long standing source of conflict in the early days until one day I asked the question, when you hear me say where are we going, how does that make you feel and he said, disrespected.  Imagine my surprise and enlightenment.  Dr. Eggerich's says, if you want to know whether or not your husband feels disrespected, check the anger barometer.  If it has escalated, chances are he feels disrespected.

Today, I honor my husband with respect because I am reminded about how important it is for him to feel I trust his judgement, and that he needs me to defer to him sometimes, and that I trust his opinion, and that I trust in his abilities and ultimately, that I believe in him.

Wives of world, in what ways can you increase the respect barometer of your husband?  When have you been surprised by your husband's anger and later realized he felt disrespected when that was not your intent?  Please share your story.

Rochelle

"If a man's wife believes in him, he can conquer the world--or at least his little corner of it."

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