Day 45 - Honoring My Husband With Readiness

Today I am honoring my husband with readiness.  I am honoring him with readiness because I am ready and prepared for our upcoming weekend and I know he is as well.  Two more days to go for our anniversary and we will be celebrating through Sunday.  God is so good. 

Get ready by making sure the mail is held, no dishes in the sink and the kitchen is clean, all garbage cans are emptied and then there is the packing.  Wash clothes for travel, wash my hair, do my nails (maybe).  Whew! There is a lot to do, I have to go and finish getting ready. Thank goodness I have a travel checklist.  It makes life so much easier.

Wives of the world, in what ways do you honor your husband with readiness?  Do you have a checklist that makes it easy to remember the big and small things that needs to be done?  Please share your story with us; we would love to learn from you.

Rochelle

"Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility."  

Day 44 - Honoring My Husband With Preparation

Yesterday I shared how excited I am about our upcoming trip to the Berks Jazz Festival and today, I am just as excited.  However, in all of my excitement, I had forgotten I have a major paper due for school on tomorrow, which if I do not complete it will preoccupy my mind the entire weekend.  So today, I am honoring my husband with preparation.

I am honoring him with preparation to ensure that our weekend is not impacted by whatever is left at home.  I am honoring him with preparation to ensure that my mind, body and spirit are totally focused on him, us and our time together. When we went to see Tyler Perry's movie Why Did I Get Married, Bryan said Tyler's wife reminded him of me because I used to take my laptop and phone on vacation.  Well this time, the laptop will be on rest.  So I will do whatever it may require to get this paper done so we both can have the time we expect and deserve.  That being said, I am signing off to complete my work so I am prepared to leave on tomorrow.

Wives of the world, in what ways do you honor your husband's through preparation?  When you have something special planned with him, how do you ensure you are giving him your all and all for the entire time by properly preparing yourself in advance?  Please share your story; we would love to hear from you.

Rochelle

"Consecrate yourselves in preparation for tomorrow; for this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says.." Joshua 7:13

Day 43 - Honoring My Husband With Excitement

The countdown is on, four days till the celebration of our life together.  I am so excited and because I am so excited, today I honor my husband with excitement.  We have planned a weekend away to attend a jazz festival with some of my favorite artist.  I am so looking forward to the weekend.  I will be spending time with my favorite guy while listening to some of my favorite artists and celebrating our life together.  It does not get much better than that.

We spent last night being diligent and purposeful about the events we plan to attend at the Berkshire Jazz Festival.  I was a little concerned about spending the  money to attend as many of the shows I wanted to, but of course, my husband the awesome man that he is said, "it's our anniversary so let's go for it".  The best part about this is he is not the big jazz fan; I am.  So once again, he is ensuring that I have a great anniversary as he always has.  This is why I love him so much and why I am honoring him with excitement, because he deserves every bit of my excitement.

Wives of the world, in what ways do you honor your husband with excitement?  How do you let him know, through your excitement, how much you appreciate the big and little things that he does?  My husband once said to me that he pays attention to my reaction and based on how I react determines if he repeats whatever it is he did to make me happy; so I always try to show my appreciation through my excitement.  Wives of the world, know that your husband is also watching and paying attention to your reaction.  The question is, are you showing him that his good deeds are worth repeating?

Blessings,

Rochelle

"The word "romance," according to the dictionary, means excitement, adventure, and something extremely real. Romance should last a lifetime." Billy Graham

Day 42 - Honoring My Husband With Perserverance

In  five days Bryan and I will be celebrating our 12th wedding anniversary.  To some that seems like a piece of cake and to others it may seem like a lifetime, to us it is a wonderful testament to the power of the Lord.  Today I am honoring my husband with perseverance because our marriage is a true testimony of the power of what the Lord can do when you put him in the middle and surround yourself with perseverance about what you can become.

The Lord knows we did not get to where we are today without our share of ups and downs, rollercoaster's and railroads, but through it all I always knew Bryan would be there.  He has been my rock when I felt like a pebble, he has been my encourager when I was overwhelmed by challenges, and he supported my career when it took me all over the world even when he did not like it.  I am grateful and thankful to him and the Lord and because of that I honor him with the same perseverance he provided.  I give it back for another 12 years plus.  I think the song below says it best.

Wives of the world, how do you honor your husband through perserverance?  How do you demonstrate to him that you are holding on to whatever you need to to keep your love alive?  In what ways can you honor your husband with perserversance today?

Rochelle

Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always. 1st Chron 16:11

Day 41 - Honoring My Husband With TLC

Today I am honoring my husband with some good ole TLC.  He's had quite the weekend having to travel from Baltimore to New Jersey and back and then had to install a large piece of equipment that took longer than expected.  Then he had to drive home which is over an hour from Baltimore.  So I know he is exhausted and in need of some true TLC.

Today I am honoring my husband with some good ole Tender Loving Care by ensuring that he is well fed, is given a nice foot and body rub and whatever he chooses or needs to go along with it to get him to a place of full comfort and relaxation to remove the mental, emotional and physical drains of the day.

Philipians 4:8-9 states the following,  "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."  This scripture so speaks to the aspect of providing TLC to your loved one.  Doing what is noble, right, lovely and admirable with pure heart for your mate, and doing what the Lord has directed or seen (Jesus washed the feet of his disciples) what can be better than that.  And then the Lord promises to be with us and provide peace.  How awesome is that!  I am excited about the opportunity. 

Wives of the world, in what ways do you honor your husband with good ole TLC?  When was the last time you gave him a foot or body rub, just because he needed it and without him asking for it?  If it's been a while, make a commitment to surprise him with a night of TLC and please share your story with us, we would love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion,  then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Phil.2:1-3

Day 40 - Honoring My Husband Through Sifting



Sifting life's impurities for a refined soul.

 The Lord is good and the Lord is mighty and surely he is worthy to be praised.  I cannot believe it has already been 40 days of honoring my husband and sharing my posts with the world.  Thus far it has been quite the enlightening journey.  It was not until preparing to write my post today that it dawned on me that the correlation between 40 days of fasting and a year of honoring my husband is quite similar. 

Prior to taking my trip to Amsterdam I fasted for 40 days.  I wanted to prepare myself for a mighty move of God and I wanted to be open to his presence, the environment and experience their culture in all its wonder.  While I was there, I realized that my senses where heightened to a degree I do not consciously recall ever experiencing.  My sense of taste, touch, sight, smell and hearing allowed me to experience that city at another level of awareness. 

This past Sunday, we had a guest preacher at our church and he talked about God's sifting process.  He used the analogy of a flour sifter and explained it is the same process the Lord uses when he is refining us to be more like Jesus.  When I think about the process of fasting and how it is a sifting process, cleansing us of life's impurities and bringing us closer to God and then I think about this process the Lord has assigned to me; I realized, it too is a sifting process.  The Lord is sifting me of all the impurities that need to be cleansed to be more like him, more of the wife he would have me to be and more of the relational life he wants Bryan and I to have.  The concept of this is almost overwhelming to me.  I feel honored that the Lord chose me for such a time as this and for such an assignment as this. I feel truly blessed because of it.

Today I am honoring my husband through sifting.  I am honoring my husband through sifting in celebration of what the Lord is doing to me and through me, for us.  Because the Lord gave me a glimpse of his sifting process last night, I am honoring Bryan through sifting by acknowledging to him what the Lord has already done and what I hope he will continue to do through this journey.  I am honoring him through sifting because I know it will continually leave me with my senses heightened to new levels that will allow me to experience our love at a different level. 

A friend of mine recently asked me if this movement is intended to be a way of life, my response, absolutely.  I know it is already becoming a way of life for me and I hope for those who come along for the ride, it will be for you as well. As the Pastor explained, when the Lord takes us through the sifting process he is shaking away those things that are not of him and what emerges is the new us.  This transformation is intended to be for life.  My hope is that I become unconsciously competent about honoring my husband every day in every way the Lord intends.  So I say to the Lord, sift away, as I know a more refined and better me will emerge.

Wives of the world, in what way is the Lord sifting you to honor your husband?  What impurities are you hoping the Lord will sift away as you spend the year honoring him by honoring your husband? Please share your story with us, we would love to learn from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"There's still a lot of rubble to sift through The Lord is not done with me yet."

Day 39 - Honoring My Husband With A Choice

Today was a very good, productive and relational day. My plan was to spend the day preparing to write a huge paper that is due for school, so I spent several hours at my office away from home (Panera Bread) reading, writing and contemplating my topic.  In the morning, on my way to Panera Bread I remembered that we had tickets for couple's night this evening at my home church. 

I had forgotten we had tickets to attend the event and contemplated not going.  I originally thought about it as a conflict, on one end I wanted to go and on the other I wanted to continue working on my paper. I then realized it was not a conflict, but a choice.  So today I honored my husband with a choice.  I had stated a few weeks ago that I wanted us to have a regular date night.  We go out to dinner, the movies and other activities on a frequent basis, but we do not necessarily classify those times as date night.  To me there is something special about the intentionality of having a date night.  Because I had stated this is what I wanted to do, I then realized my dilemma was not a conflict but a choice.  So today I honored my husband with a choice by choosing us and having a date night.

I was very glad I made the choice because we saw a very good, thought provoking Christian movie.  To me it was a great reminder that nothing is coincidental, everything is orchestrated by the Lord.  It was also a great reminder that we can make all the plans we like, ultimately the plan that happens is the one created by God.  Today I honored my husband with a choice because I wanted to continue something I had asked for by having a date night, I honored my husband with a choice because I wanted to choose us over school and because he was willing to give up his night watching the NCAA tournament to attend to my request.

Wives of the world, in what way can you honor your husband by turning a conflict into a choice?  Please share your story with us; we would love to hear from you.

Rochelle

This is what the LORD says: ‘Take your choice" 1st Chron. 21:11

Day 38 - Honoring My Husband Through Disclosure

Today was quite a busy day.  It was a day Bryan and I had set aside to complete the arduous task of getting our taxes ready for the accountant.  The plan was for us to begin in the morning and work until the task was complete. Bryan had to take a trip into the city that was supposed to be a quick turnover however, it turned into an all day event.  Needless to say the tax task still had to be done.  So I went about the day to complete what I could, I was still working on them when he returned in the evening.

I typically do not mind spending the day alone and working on what I need to do, it is how I work most of the time.  However today I was quite disappointed.  What I thought would be a nice day of working together and conversation turned into a day of me working alone on something I'm not all that crazy about doing.  Needless to say I did not feel like my typical happy go lucky self when he came home.  I was not only disappointed that what we had planned the week prior had fallen threw, but I was also disappointed that I was not aware his trip was going to be an all day thing until the day was almost over. 

I had to ask myself, so how are you going to handle this one.  My head was telling me to stay focused on honoring my husband, my heart was telling me to put it on pause for a minute and do an emotional dump.  But then God reminded me of my own words when I responded to a comment on day 2 about how I honor my husband when I am frustrated.  I shared then that by honoring myself first and releasing my emotions, then I can honor my husband.   So today I am honoring my husband through disclosure.  I had to disclose to him that although I understood his dilemma, I was still quite disappointed about the day and I had to do it in a way that was honorable.

I honored him through disclosure by honoring where I was emotionally and then sharing how the turn of events impacted me.  I guess just like the Lord never said being saved would mean life would be easy, that can be translated into just because I have made the decision to honor my husband, does not mean it will always be easy.  Yet, every day I learn something new about me, him and us.  All in all, I am hallelujah happy God gave this assignment to me.

Wives of the world, in what ways do you honor your husband through disclosure?  Are you able to disclose how you feel in a way that is honorable to you, your husband and your marriage?  I think we can all use some help in this area, please share your story with us.

Blessings,

Rochelle

A fully disclosed heart equals a fully free spirit. Rochelle Arnold-Simmons

Day 37 - Honoring My Husband Through Determination

There is no question in my mind that the Lord has placed this assignment upon me.  Each day he gives me incredible insight and just when I begin to question, okay Lord what do you have for me today, the wisdom of life just opens up.  Today I am honoring my husband with determination.  Last year I left my corporate job to begin my ministry consulting business full time.  Many of you know my work is to help churches be more effective. 

My dear husband, in his most supportive way, has let me know that although he believes in me and the work I have to offer, he does not believe in the integrity of Pastors and their willingness to pay for services provided.  We have gone back and forth about the viability of my business and he tries as hard as he can to be supportive.  In his business he has been burned on more than a few occasions by churches or Pastor's not keeping their word, he has not been paid for his services and in his past he was a Trustee and had a bad experience that caused him to move to another church.  So needless to say his struggle is not just because, but because he has history to support his beliefs. 

I am honoring him today with determination because I know through my business he will begin to change his heart as I experience success.  I am honoring him through determination because I am determined to show him a different side of the church and that there are churches and Pastors that are of the highest integrity.   I am honoring him through determination because I know the power of the Lord and I am convinced more and more that  as he continues to change me through this process, he will also be changing those around me, mainly my husband.

Wives of the world, in what ways do you honor your husband through determination?  How do you increase your level of determination to show him something of the Lord or to change his heart in an area of challenge?  Please share your story with use.

Rochelle

Determination gives you the resolve to keep going in spite of the roadblocks that lay before you.

The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination.
Tommy Lasorda

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Day 36 - Honoring My Husband With Meaningful Conversation

I would describe myself as somewhat of a talker depending upon the situation, how I feel about the subject at hand and the environment.  However my husband is blessed with the gift of gab.  He can carry on a conversation about anything and he loves the aspect of dialogue.  I on the other hand like dialogue in doses which means sometimes I may politely shorten a conversation.  As the Lord is working on me through the honoring my husband process, he is also providing great insight.  My insight today was how I can engage my husband in conversation that is meaningful to him to afford him the opportunity to dialogue as long as he would like.

So today I honored my husband with meaningful conversation by engaging him in conversation about his youth.  We have been together for over 17 years and it is amazing to me how there is always more to learn.  We engaged in an awesome conversation about how things that transpired in our youth show up for us today in both a positive and constructive manner.  We were able to link current behavior with past incidents, which was awesome for me given my field of study. I am so intrigued by the aspect of human behavior and why we do what we do.  It was a great time as we both had new insights and was able to enjoy each other's company as we learned more about each other.

Today I honored my husband with meaningful conversation because I know how much he enjoys the aspect of dialogue; I love to watch how he lights up as he shares any great story.  He is a phenomenal story teller and when he's in the zone, he's in the zone. 

Wives of the world, in what ways can you or do you honor your husband with meaningful conversation?  The key word is meaningful, which I define as gaining some new insight.  What would happen if you changed your conversation with your husband so that he is more engaged if he is not one for a lot of dialogue.  Try engaging him in a discussion about his youth and see where it takes him and you and please share your story with us.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"Let your conversation be always full of grace.." Col 4:6

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Day 35 - Honoring My Husband With Sex Appeal

Ladies, as we all know, men are visual beings.  They are most turned on by what they see.  During the winter months it is so hard to maintain a good balance of keeping warm and remaining sexy in my night clothes.  There were several evenings where I had to forego sexy for warmth so I am so glad the weather is changing and I can be more consistent in how I show up for bed.  My husband tells me that I am the sexiest woman he knows and I would like to keep it that way.  So today I am honoring my husband with sex appeal. 

I am honoring my husband with sex appeal because I know how it excites him to see me in lingerie instead of pajamas.  I know he feels I am doing it for him, and he's correct.  I know when I care what I look like when I go to bed, he cares and it brings lingering thoughts for the next day.  At one time, for a very short period of time, last winter I remember wearing pajamas to bed on several occasions.  One evening I got up to go to the bathroom and happen to get a glimpse of myself in our very large bathroom mirror. My first thought was what in the world are you doing; there is absolutely nothing sexy about your bedtime attire.  It was at that moment that I decided I was going to find a way to be sexy in the winter time.  It was challenging and there were moments where I had to choose warmth over comfort, but all in all, sexy won.  I want to be sure when my husband thinks about someone sexy, it is not who or what he sees on TV, but it is me from the night before. 

Wives of the world, in what ways do you honor your husband with sex appeal?  Are you giving him something to linger about the next day every evening or have you forgotten how important visual sex appeal is to your husband?  How can you honor your husband with sex appeal today?  Please share your stories; we would really love to hear how you have conquered this challenge.

Blessings,

Rochelle

Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.  Sophia Loren

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Day 34 - Honoring My Husband Through Self Care

I am the type of person that stays busy. I really do not like to waste time.  Even if I am sitting on the couch I like to be reading, working on a crocheting project, or doing something constructive.  Like most women, multi-tasking is my middle name.  Over the past few weeks, I have been struggling sleeping, which has been catching up with me.  I typically like to cook a nice dinner on Sunday's after church, but today I had about as much energy as a turtle.  After we returned home from church I found myself curled up on our lounge chair taking a nap.  I realized I could not provide the love, care, company and companionship I typically do when I am fully rested.  So today, I honored my husband by first taking care of myself. 

I know for many women this may sound selfish or more about me than him, however I know for sure that I can't give my best until I am at my best.  So today I wanted to be at my best and honored my husband through self care.  In order to give all we have to someone else, we have to give to ourselves first.  Otherwise we can only give less than half ourselves to those that are most important to us and that is not what God intended for our relationships.  Once I was well rested, I was able to provide the love and care my husband so enjoys.  By honoring him through self care I was able to provide a good dinner, hold a good conversation and we were able to enjoy the remainder of the evening.

Wives of the world, in what ways do you honor your husband through self care?  Are you one to run yourself until the Lord stops you or are you able to balance taking care of yourself so you can better take care of your husband?  Please share your stories with us, we would love to learn from you.

Blessings,

Rochelle

"When we truly care for ourselves, it becomes possible to care far more profoundly about other people. The more alert and sensitive we are to our own needs, the more loving and generous we can be toward others." -Eda LeShan

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Day 33 - Honoring My Husband Through Engagement

It never cease to amaze me how the Lord facilitates the resource of time to help us meet the intended need.  Today I am honoring my husband through  engagement.  My husband loves the idea of celebrating with his closest family members and his family loves to celebrate birthdays.  Today we took part in the celebration of his cousin who turned 72.  When he originally told me about the celebration it was to start at 6:00 pm, however today, the day of the event he called at 3:15 PM to let me know the start time was actually at 4:30 PM.

I really wanted to and had planned on attending, however, we live over an hour away and I was not yet prepared to go and I was quite tired.  My plans were to take a nap before heading out for the celebration.  When I realized I had no time to take a nap, my body was saying you need to stay home.  I knew how important this was to Bryan, as it was one of his favorite cousin's.  Although he let me off the hook by saying he understood I was not ready and would probably not make it, with the help of the Lord I pulled off a miracle.  I called upon the Lord and asked what to do.  I took a 20 minute power nap, got dressed and made it to meet him by 5:10 PM.  As the Lord would have it, the dinner got pushed back to the original start time of 6:00 PM so we were able to be there for the full event.

I am still amazed at how the Lord orchestrated everything and responded to my call for help.  I could not believe the energy I felt after such a short nap and that I was able to take a nap, get dressed and be out of the house within 50 minutes.  Those who know me well, know a miracle was truly performed.  I know Bryan was quite elated and shocked when I told him I was on my way. 

Today I honored my husband with engagement because I knew how important it was for him to be there for his cousin's celebration. I honored him with engagement by showing up to support the event.  I honored him because I knew how much he really wanted me to be there even though he gave me an out.  I am so happy I called upon the Lord to help make it happen and I was able to be there.  We had a great time and it was nice to see Bryan enjoying himself amongst family.

Wives of the world, how do you honor your husband through engagement?  In what ways do you engage yourself in activities for him even when it may be a stretch to make it happen?  Please share your story with us so we can learn from you. 

Blessings,

Rochelle

Be ever engaged, so that whenever the devil calls he may find you occupied. St. Jerome

Day 32 - Honoring My Husband Through Appreciation

Today I am honoring my husband through appreciation.  After working all day and dealing with all the challenges of his work environment he ended his day by spending the evening with hundreds of men celebrating Christ.  He did this because he wanted to ensure that he got the full value of the tickets I purchased for the New Psalmist Men's Conference.  I know he was probably tired and wanted to get refreshed before going to the event, but he chose to go directly so he would not be too late and he picked up my nephew on the way.  Some would say that he had no choice but to go because I purchased the tickets, however I know everyone always has a choice and he could have chosen not to go.

I am honoring my husband through appreciation because I know he could have easily decided to head home and get the rest he needed.  I am honoring him through appreciation because he cared enough to ensure my gift would not be taken for granted and because he pushed himself to make it happen.  I was so glad to hear that he enjoyed it and was looking forward to the next day's events.  I was sure to say thank you and share my appreciation.

Wives of the world, how do you honor your husband through appreciation when he chooses to do something in spite of his exhaustion and he could have chosen otherwise?  How do you or can you express appreciation for your husband for the small big things that he does?  Please share your story so we can all learn more great ways to honor our husbands through appreciation.

Blessings,

Rochelle

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ~ Voltaire

Day 31 - Honoring My Husband With Prayer

As a woman of God, praying for my husband is something that comes quite naturally.  As an entrepreneur his commute is over 120 miles roundtrip so, it is a daily prayer of mine to ask the Lord to protect his comings and goings and to part the highways and byways like the Red Sea keeping him out of harm's way.  I also pray for covering over his business, his mind and his spirit.

I am a frequent listener of Family Life Ministries.  I love the stories, guidance and words of wisdom they provide.  I recently stumbled upon a document of theirs that was a little more prescriptive about lifting one's husband through prayer.  I was quite intrigued and elated by the topics and the supporting scripture.  Below are several of the areas listed.  My hope is that you will use similar prayers to seek covering for your husband and to honor him with prayer.

Lord, thank you for my husband.  I ask your will for him in these things, according to your Word.

Fill my husband with love for you, that he would love you "with all [his] heart and with all [his] mind." 
Matthew 22:37

Place his "delight...in the law of the Lord" (Psalm 1:21) and "open [his] eyes that [he] may behold wondrous things out of your law" (Psalm 119:18) Give him understanding (Psalm 119:73).

Compel him to pray continually (1st Thessalonians 5:17) so that he'll live and walk by your Spirit (Galatians 5:25).

Empower him to "run with endurance the race that is set before [him]" and to focus on pleasing you (Hebrews 12: 1-2).

Equip my husband with strength and wisdom to  lead, that he would be "strong and very courageous," and that he may be successful wherever he goes (Joshua 1:7).

Guide him in using wisely all the resources you've given us, keeping an eternal perspective about possessions (Matthew 6:19-21, Luke 16:10-12).

Flood him with peace and faith (Isaiah 26:3).

Today I honor my husband with prayer.  As the Lord says, and this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. 1st John 5:14.  I honor my husband with prayer because I know the Lord is mighty

Wives of the world, in what ways do you or can you honor your husband with prayer? My hope is that you will incorporate these prayers as part of what you do to provide covering over your husband and my single lady friends I encourage you to use it to pray over the husband the Lord is preparing for you.

 Rochelle

I will spread out my hands in prayer to the LORD (Exodus 9:29).  He answered their prayers, because they trusted in him. 1st Chronicle 5:20

Day 30 - Honoring My Husband Through Sacrifice

Today I am honoring my husband  through sacrifice.  Last night was a tough night for me.  Bryan is typically the one up late into the evening with work heavy on his mind but this time I could not find my way to the great place called sleep.  Between my husband's lovely snoring and my head filled with the many projects that lay before me, instead of waking him up to subdue the snoring, I chose to sacrifice my comfort and take refuge in another room.

I honored my husband through sacrificing my comfort so that he would be sure to get a good night's sleep.  As his day typically begins before mine and ends well into the evening.  My sacrifice is not about playing a martyr or victim, but simply an attempt to honor my husband for being the provider for our household as my work could allow for me to catch up during the day through a nap. Unfortunately for me, today was not one of those days.  My hope is my sacrifice tonight will be of a different nature.

Wives of the world, in what ways do you sacrifice your comfort for your husband?  If you had to make the choice of his sleep or yours, which would it be?  Please share your story about how you have, can or would honor your husband through sacrifice.

Blessings,

Rochelle

Sacrificing your happiness for the happiness of the one you love, is by far, the truest type of love. 

Author unknown.
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Day 29 - Honoring My Husband With Understanding

Today I had quite the realization.  I am the ultimate optimist and because of this I often lose sight that what may seem easy or attainable to me; in actuality may not be.  I am honoring my husband today with understanding.  Early in the day as he talked about the challenges before him, I proceeded to say that he was making things too hard.  He proceeded to tell me that I really did not have perspective.  As he spoke, I realized, he was right.  I do not have perspective on the challenges he may have to face in the situation we were discussing.  So what's the best thing to do when you really do not know, be quiet.  So that is exactly what I did.  I stepped out of my you can do anything self and just allowed him to share in a way that I hoped he would feel understood. 

Later in the evening, as he shared how the day unfolded, I again realized I really did not have perspective and sometimes things are or will be just as difficult as someone believes they will be. My reconciliation of the moment was to provide the help and support needed to lighten the load the best way I knew how.  It was a real wake up call for me in that sometimes the beauty of the situation is just as it is and the best way to help is to simply be understanding.

Wives of the world, how do you honor your husband with understanding?  When you think you are helping and realize you are not, how do you turn it into a moment of learning?  When was the last time your husband really felt understood by you?

Blessings,

Rochelle

But it is the spirit in a person, the breath of the Almighty, that gives them understanding. Job 32:8

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Day 28 - Honoring My Husband Through Friendship

Today I am honoring my husband through friendship.  There is nothing like having someone to share your innermost secrets, joys and accomplishments.  Today I had the pleasure of two great accomplishments; I secured a new client, received a fellowship grant award for school and just about secured another client.  I was so excited and could not wait to share the news with Bryan because that's what friends do.

I tried calling Bryan, but he was hanging out on a roof and could not get my call.  When we finally connected, it was so nice to hear the excitement in his voice as he joined me as any friend would in my excitement.  Today, I honor my husband through friendship because he was there for me as only a friend could be.  As our conversation continued, we shared a few other experiences of the day and had a great conversation filled with intellect, great laughter and healthy debate.  I hung up the phone with the warm and fuzzy in anticipation of seeing him this evening.

Wives of the world, how do you honor your husband through friendship?  In what ways do you share friendship like qualities to stay connected in a way that only friends can?  How can you honor your husband through friendship today?

Blessings,

Rochelle

“Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, ‘The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’” 1st Samuel 20:42  - I love this scripture for it so speaks to the friendship and the three fold cord of marriage, you, him and God in the middle and the uniting of two families.  Awesome!

Day 27- Honoring My Husband Through Celebration

Today I am honoring my husband through celebration.  Although it is two weeks till our 12th year wedding   anniversary as the Lord would have it, he has placed upon my spirit that the celebration needs to begin now.  I honor my husband through celebration for how we continue to grow together.  I honor him because after 12 years I am still happy to see him at the end of the day and I know he is just as happy to see me.  I honor him because we have so much to celebrate.

I honor my husband in celebration because he celebrated my return home from school by taking me out to dinner tonight.  I am truly ready to celebrate our love in a way that lets the Lord know how grateful we are for how he has blessed us individually, our lives together, our family and our love.

Wives of the world, in what ways do you or can you honor your husband through celebration?  How do you celebrate the blessings the Lord has placed upon your lives outside the day's society say we should celebrate our love and life together?  In what ways can you honor your husband in celebration today?

Blessings,

Rochelle

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. Oprah Winfrey

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Day 26 - Honoring My Husband With A Poem

Heart To Heart

Sometimes in this lifetime,
we meet a special soul,
who fills our very essence,
to almost overflow,
we drink the cup of friendship,
it tastes like ruby wine,
and you know within your heart,
this meeting was Divine.

This soul that lives within your heart,
no distance can prevail,
an inner spark, within the heart,
becomes a Holy Grail,
the starting of a journey,
in which you both shall be,
a reflection of each other,
for all eternity.

 Author: Lilaneyah

Today as the sun goes down and the night befalls us I am honoring my husband with a poem.  A poem because sometimes our words are just not strong enough, sometimes our voice is louder when spoken through rhythmic tones, and sometimes less can be a whole lot more.

Wives of the world, in what ways have you honored your husband with a poem?  What words of yours  would you like to come to life to express your love to your spouse?

Rochelle

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Day 25 - Honoring My Husband With Comfort

 Today I honored my husband with comfort.  I am away at school in D.C. and he began his day believing it was going to be an easy and smooth day for him.  Turns out a few hours into the day he realized he was notified that several of his properties had floods in the basement and as a result the furnaces were inoperable.  As he arrived at one property and entered the basement he was faced with several feet of water and once that was cleared and he went to the next property he was again faced with several feet of water.  This happened yet again at one other property because of the heavy rains on yesterday.  He later received more news about another property and an issue with a tenant.   

Needless to say, by time we talked he was quite down and worn out.  So the best thing I could do, given we are again in two different locations, was to provide a comforting ear, moral support and words of encouragement by looking for the good in the situation.  I asked him, "What was good about the day?" I could tell as he answered this question his spirits began to rise and we began to discuss that with all the horrible events of the day, he was able to recoup the furnaces which was truly a blessing.  As we continued the conversation, his focus was no longer on the mishaps of the day, but was on what went well and how he was intending to spend the remainder of the day.  So today, I am blessed to have been able to honor my husband by providing a comfort and helping him get to a better place after a quite challenging day.

Wives of the world, how do you honor your husband with comfort when he has had a rough day?  Do you provide the comfort he needs to help him get to a better place or do you add salt to an open wound?  Please share your examples of honoring your husband with comfort.

Blessings,

Rochelle

But my mouth would encourage you; comfort from my lips would bring you relief. Job 16:5

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Day 24 - Honoring My Husband With Patience

Praise be to God for his mercy and grace is everlasting.  Today the Lord is teaching me to honor my husband with a greater degree of patience.  Many who know me know that I am a very patient person in most situations.  It takes a lot for my patience to be rattled.  Today the Lord is exposing me to where my patience needs to be fine tuned and further developed. 

As I proceeded to go about my daily duties my husband reminded me of some other work that needed to be attended to, getting our taxes prepared for the accountant.  As he talked, I listened and thought about the other things that I felt needed to be done.  My initial thought was to tell him all the reasons why I could not change my schedule, but then God stepped in and reminded me that this journey is not about honoring him on the assigned topic for the day, but it is accumulative.  So the Lord reminded me that when I said I was honoring my husband through Silence, Action I & II, Calmness, Blessing, Respect, Listening, Excitement and ultimately Love today was an opportunity to display them all with an icing of Patience. 

Because we have several businesses, it is a source of stress for him to not have everything prepared for the assigned date for our accountant.  By changing my priorities for the day and attending to his request with silence and calmness, he felt heard, blessed, respected, excited and loved all because I was able to demonstrate an added degree of patience.

Wives of the world, how are you challenged when it comes to demonstrating patience to your husband?  Have you had to change the course of your day to shift to what was more important to your husband?  If so, were you or are able to do it in a way that is honorable to him?  Please share your story, we would love to learn from you.

Rochelle

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Col. 3:12

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Day 23 - Honoring My Husband Through Silence

Today was a long and busy day and all I wanted to do was just be next to Bryan.  He also had a very busy day traveling up and down the highway to complete his work.  Sometimes less is more so today I honor my husband through silence as we enjoy each other's company.  Silence because sometimes no words need to be spoken and presence says all that needs to be said.  I honor him through silence because in the silence I can hear the beat of his love and feel the words that are not being said.

Wives of the world how do or can you honor your husband through silence?  Please share  your story about honoring your husband through what's not said?

Rochelle

"Let us be silent that we may hear the whispers of God." R. Emerson

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Day 22 - Honoring My Husband Through Action Part II

Now that I am home and my body has finally acclimated to EST I am able to honor my husband in action per the original list, but this time in person.  So today, I honor my husband in action, part two.  I received feedback from several of you about the list from the first rendition of honoring my husband in action.  Well this is part 2 of that series.  You may recall, I said it was a pretty expansive list, these are items 11 - 20. 

1.   Avoid sudden major changes without discussion giving him time to adjust.
2.  When you go out on a date together don't bring up problems - reserve it for just fun.
3.  Focus on what he is doing right instead of what's negative.  You get more honey with bees.
4.  Show interest for what he feels is important in life.
5.  Correct him gently and in private.
6. The first few minutes after a spouse returns home, often determines how the remaining of   the evening will go.   Try to make the first few minutes of seeing each other more positive.  If necessary ease in  to anything negative.
7. Make special time for him apart from the children or other household members.
8. Do not allow any family members to treat him disrespectfully, privately or publicly. You should be the one to defend any family member that dishonors his place as your husband.
9. Compliment him of often.
10. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in action.

The first two items on this list I can really relate to.  Last year we had an exchange student who will be visiting us again this year.  When I heard from her I wanted to just say yes of course you can visit for a month, but then I realized I needed to check it out with Bryan before committing my time and his.  As for number two, well I totally blew that one to shreds on this past weekend.  We went to the movies and from the time we sat down I fell asleep and slept through the entire movie.  This was a first for me. 

Fortunately, I have an understanding husband who did not get upset, but I was angry with myself because I lost the opportunity for us to have a shared experience.  We could not have our usual intellectual critique of the movie because I had no context.  So if I were to add on to number two I would say make sure you are well rested to enjoy the date.  Today I honor my husband through action and look forward to making up the time I lost this weekend. 

Wives of the world, in what ways do you relate to the action list part two?  What ways can you honor your husband through action in person?  Are any of the action items a challenge for you? If so why? Please share your stories with us.

Rochelle

Action speaks louder and clearer than any words you could ever speak; and remember love is an action.

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Day 21- Honoring My Husband With Calmness

I am often struck by how the Lord shows me my focus for the day.  Bryan and I live near the Susquehanna River and have to cross a bridge to travel just about anywhere.  Yesterday when I crossed the bridge, I was struck by how it was very windy outside yet the water was unnaturally calm.  I thought wow, the water looks beautiful and peaceful today.  However, today as I crossed, I noticed the calmness was gone and it was as if the water was having a fight with nature.  It appeared more dirty than normal and it was whipping all over the place.  As I neared the end of the bridge, I noticed the enormous amount of debris that had surfaced as a result. 

The contrast between these two forces calmness and chaos had me thinking about what happens when we lose our calmness.  The debris to me represented the ugliness of what can surface when our attitudes are not in check.  I think I recognized this because Bryan and I are different when it comes to orderliness.  As he left some things out of place I wanted to address him in a not so honorable manner.  But as the Lord would have it, I was reminded of my journey and had to address the situation in a manner that was honoring of my husband and the Lord.  The water reminded me of how beautiful we must appear to our spouse and others when we deal with things in a calm manner and also the ugliness of how we may appear when we allow ourselves to be out of sorts and fighting with the human nature of peace.  I thank the Lord for this metaphor, as I know it was only him that had me see things from this perspective.  It was quite the visual.  I have crossed that bridge countless times over the past eight years and never had such a revelation. 

Today, I honored my husband through calmness.  Calmness in the midst of what could have been a storm, calmness to keep all the unnecessary debris at bay, calmness to increase the level of intimacy instead of divisivenss and calmness to experience the glory of God's peace.

Wives of the world, in what ways do you honor your husband with calmness?  How do you keep the debris of your attitude in check to keep the level of intimacy and peace high?  Please share your story with us.

Rochelle

...calmness can lay great offenses to rest. Eccle. 10:4

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Day 20 - Honoring My Husband With A Blessing

Today my Pastor asked the women of the church to bless the men in their lives with a ticket to the upcoming Men's Conference at our church, New Psalmist Baptist Church in Baltimore, MD.  The event is later this month.  I had been intending to surprise Bryan with tickets but did not get the opportunity before my trip. My Pastor stated if you have a good man bless him and if you have one that's not so good bless him too. Fortunately, for me I have a good man and I am honored to bless him with the surprise of tickets to the event.  He will also be delighted that I not only purchased the tickets for him but for him to be accompanied by family, my brother and two nephews. 

Today I honor my husband with the blessing of the New Psalmist Men's Conference because I know he will be truly inspired at the gathering of hundreds of men praising the Lord.  I honor him with this blessing so that  if on that day he feels broken in any area or stressed by the woes of the day,  he walks away blessed and if the worries of the day cause him to be depressed he leaves delivered.  I honor him with this blessing and truly anticipate sharing in the experience vicariously through him.

Wives of the world, in what ways do you surprise your husband with a blessing just for him?  When have you blessed your husband with something he may have wanted but would not purchase for himself and it was not Christmas, his birthday or Valentine's day but simply just because you wanted to make him happy?  Please share your stories of honoring your husband with blessings with us.

Rochelle

Surely you have granted him unending blessings and made him glad with the joy of your presence.
Psalm 21:6    

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Day 19 - Honoring My Husband Through Companionship

Today I am honoring my husband through companionship.  The work that we do is so different.  My work requires me to be in front of the computer and his work requires him to be out and about.  He typically works on Saturday's and I am usually doing school work or working on my business after taking care of house work. Today Bryan needed to pick up some supplies for one of our properties.  Earlier in the week, he had been hinting around at me accompanying him on the trip.  Initially I thought about all the things I could get done while he takes this journey, but in the spirit of honoring my husband I decided to go along for the ride.  It was a beautiful ride through the countryside of Pennsylvania and gave us an opportunity to talk and just be.  Yet again the Lord knows exactly what he is doing with this journey of mine.

So today, I honor my husband through companionship and put his unsolicited and indirect request for my presence before my desire to go about today's business as usual.  I honored him with companionship and was blessed by his sense of enjoyment to have me along for the ride and the beautiful sense of warmness that ran through me as I felt him watching me with a smile.  I honored him with companionship believing I was satisfying a desire of his and yet I was the one blessed.  I think this is an example of the dreaded word "submission". Our God is so good!

Wives of the world, in what ways do you honor your husband with companionship outside of the norm?  How do you share in his interest through companionship? Please share your stories with us.

Rochelle

"The bravest thing that men do is love a woman." Mort Saul

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Day 18 - Honoring My Husband Through Respect

Wives of the world, take heed, according to research this one is HUGE.  Did I say HUGE? Well yes, it is HUGE! Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, author of the book Love and Respect says that after polling 7,000 people with the question, When you are in conflict with your spouse or significant other, do you feel unloved or disrespected?  83% of the men said they felt disrespected and 72% of the women said unloved.  Another poll with the statement, In the middle of a conflict with my wife/significant other, I am more likely to be feeling.....81% of the men completed it with, That my wife/significant other doesn't respect me right now. 

I know many of you are probably saying you already respect your husband, because that is how I felt. I would never intentionally disrespect my husband.  Well the key word is intentionally.  Dr. Eggerich's goes on to say that a man deeply needs the woman in his life to respect his knowledge, opinions, and decisions, hence his judgement almost all the time.

As I read this it reminded me of a time early in our relationship when Bryan would get very upset with me when I would question him about directions.  We would be driving along and the curious me would ask or say something like "Why are we going this way?" or "Is this the right way?" to him, I was asking Do you know where you are going? or saying, I don't trust you know where we are. To me, because I am directionally challenged and because I often speak my thoughts, I just wanted to have perspective on where we were for future reference.   This was a long standing source of conflict in the early days until one day I asked the question, when you hear me say where are we going, how does that make you feel and he said, disrespected.  Imagine my surprise and enlightenment.  Dr. Eggerich's says, if you want to know whether or not your husband feels disrespected, check the anger barometer.  If it has escalated, chances are he feels disrespected.

Today, I honor my husband with respect because I am reminded about how important it is for him to feel I trust his judgement, and that he needs me to defer to him sometimes, and that I trust his opinion, and that I trust in his abilities and ultimately, that I believe in him.

Wives of world, in what ways can you increase the respect barometer of your husband?  When have you been surprised by your husband's anger and later realized he felt disrespected when that was not your intent?  Please share your story.

Rochelle

"If a man's wife believes in him, he can conquer the world--or at least his little corner of it."

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Day 17 - Honoring My Husband With A Note To God

I feel so blessed to have been chosen by the Lord for such a journey as this.   I feel his presence more than ever every minute of the day as he speaks to my heart about the direction he would have me to go and as he leads me to the place of need in my spiritual growth, my marriage and my husband.  It has been absolutely awesome! 

Today I honored my husband with a note to God.  Prior to Bryan and me meeting, I had a dear friend tell me I needed to write a letter to God about the kind of man I wanted to marry.  At the time, I was very focused on my career and not really concerned about getting married.  She kept prodding me so finally I did it.  I wrote the letter, filed it away and forgot about it.  Well, as the Lord would have it, three months later I met Bryan and three months after that the Lord reminded me of what I had written.  To my surprise, everything I had written described Bryan to a tea and to make a long story short, I will just say, and the rest is history.

Today, in honoring my husband with a note to God, I am calling on the Lord with intentionality about my request.  Yesterday my husband shared with me a very good friend of his had gotten a divorce because his wife no longer wanted to be married.  He was shocked, disappointed and saddened by this news.   As he put it, "I don't know of a nicer guy."  He began to share how he has received such news of late about several friends and associates and I could see in his eyes how it impacted him.  Since starting this blog, I too have been surprised and saddened by the number of times I have heard I can't do that, I don't even like my husband.  Fortunately, I have received just as many or even more emails and calls from women excited about the opportunity to honor their husbands.

Today, I honor my husband with a note to God on his behalf.  A note to God asking that he would bless those marriages that are struggling today, asking that he would heal those hearts that are heavy, asking that if anyone that reads this post and feels they are on the path to divorce, that they have a change of heart or at least reconsider the possibilities, or if anyone is experiencing a distance in their relationship that the Lord will bring back the intimacy, life and love to their relationship.  Today, I honor my husband with a note to God on his behalf because I know how sad and burdened he was by the news on yesterday, because I know he was thinking the only thing to do is to call on the name of the Lord, because he wishes nothing but happiness for those close to him that are experiencing sadness in their marriage and because the Lord says when two are gathered, agree and call upon the name of the Lord, it shall be done.

I love the song below by Chanice, called Note to God.  When placed in the context of marriage, I think it is very fitting of what so many may want but just may not know how to ask.  Wives of the world, how can you honor your husband with a note to God? What would your request be?  What would you say on behalf of your husband to honor him and his spirit? 

Rochelle

"The one good thing about not seeing you is that I can write you letters".  ~Svetlana Alliluyeva

                                     
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Day 16 - Honoring My Husband Through Accountability

It has been quite interesting for me to get back into the groove of my normal life.  One of the benefits of traveling is you get to have someone else take care of some key essentials.  Although I missed home, I truly enjoyed having someone else cook, clean, make up the bed and clean the bathroom.  Getting back to normal not only meant following up with my clients, taking care of my business, and taking care of my husband but it also means reactivating the wife or home duty hormones.  Fortunately for me, I am somewhat of a neat freak but I can easily get absorbed into my work because I love it so much.  Today, I honor my husband through accountability.

I honor him through accountability because I truly had to hold myself accountable for my commitment to honor him every day and to my wifely duties, outside the bedroom.  Inside the bedroom comes pretty easy when you are gone for more than a week.  Because I was so engrossed in catching up on my business I almost forgot to take care of dinner.  And with this journey I am on, it is important to me to not just have food available, but to honor my husband by preparing something that he will truly enjoy after eating fast food, frozen dinners and take out in my absence.  So, today I honor my husband through accountability by taking care of the small things that are important to him, like a great meal, clean underwear and clean socks.  Even if it means I have to put my work on hold for a little while so he knows that he is the priority above all else. 

Wives of the world, how do you hold yourself accountable to taking care of the things that are important to your husband?  Is he aware of the priority you have for him by the accountability you exhibit or is it a question mark to him?  Please share in what ways you do or can honor your husband through accountability.

Rochelle

"Accountability is not just a principle it is a practice." Bishop W.S. Thomas

“Accountability breeds response-ability.”

Day 15 - Honoring My Husband Through Listening

When I started this blog, one of my goals was to be the change I wanted to see. I had no idea what God was going to do and how he was going to use me or change me as I go through this journey of honoring my husband.  However, I must say, it has greatly heightened my sensitivity of my interactions with my husband.  Bryan and I are very different in that he is more of a talker than I am.  He is typically the one talking and I am typically the one listening.  Although what I have recently come to learn is that my listening is not always listening. 

I can tell my husband missed me as much as I missed him while I was gone.  We usually talk on the phone several times throughout the day and was only able to talk once a day while I was abroad.  Today as I acclimate myself back into the groove of home life, I found myself only partially listening to my husband and missed some of what he was trying to say.  The Lord quickly convicted me and asked "Why are you multi-tasking?" I immediately stopped what I was doing and listened with intent.

I once participated in a workshop that spoke about listening for the "GOLD" in a conversation.  I assigned an acronym to this calling it, God's Opportunity Leading to Destiny.  Whether the destiny is mine or the other persons, when we listen with intent and for the gold of the message, we learn more by hearing the story behind the story.  Today I honor my husband through listening by listening for the GOLD in all he has to say.  I honor him by listening for the message behind the message, by listening for another level of understanding, listening for how I can provide what's needed and listening for the love that's being delivered. 

Wives of the world how do you or can you honor your husband through listening?  Do you listen to him intently every time he speaks or are you multi-tasking and missing God's opportunity to lead to destiny?  Please share in what ways you can honor your husband through listening.

Rochelle

"To answer before listening that is folly and shame"  Prov .18:13

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Day 14 - Honoring My Husband Through Intimacy

Praise God for blessing me with traveling mercies to return home without the drama of major traffic delays at the airport.  Traveling is wonderful but there is nothing like home.  As you can imagine I was very excited to see my husband and feel his smile as he walked towards me in the airport.  I am thankful to the Lord for guiding me through this journey while I was abroad and look forward to continuing it in person.  Bryan and I have been apart for 14 days so today I honor him through intimacy. 

In my excitement I proceeded to share all the wonder and beauty of my trip because I wanted him to experience it vicariously through my words.  I wanted him to "in to me see" how much I missed him over that time.  I wanted him to see and feel the joy that I've been storing up since staring this blog at the onset of my trip.  I wanted to "in to him see" the peace and joy for my returning home safely.  Today I honor my husband through emotional, mental and physical intimacy to celebrate our reunion.

Wives of the world, how do you honor your husband through emotional, mental and physical intimacy after a short or long time apart?  In what ways do you allow your husband to "in to you see" to celebrate your reunion after a long day's work or several days apart?  Please share your story with us.

Rochelle

"And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." Author unknown

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