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| Johari Window The pathway to honesty about self. |
On yesterday, Friday I honored my husband with honesty in a different kind of way, with heightened self awareness. My husband has this thing he does whenever he has something on his mind. He will end his sentences with um. Normally when he speaks he does not use filler words, so I can always tell when he has more to say because out comes the um at the end of what he says. This is something that he was totally unaware of so when I would ask him "What else do you want to say?" he would either share or say how do you know I have something else to say. I would just say, I can just tell. Well today I honored him with honesty by telling him how I know.
There is a theory called Johari Window. This theory is used to help individuals and groups to be more aware of their actions and behavior. The concept is that there are four parts to our levels of self awareness:
1. Open - These are things that we know about ourselves and openly share with others.
2. Hidden - These are things we know about ourselves but we hide from others.
3. Blind - These are things that others know about us but we do not know about ourselves.
4. Unknown - These are things we do not know and others do not know about us.
I honored my husband today with honesty by making him aware of this behavior he has that has been visibly clear to me for years but blind to him. The best part about the theory is that it provides us an avenue to learn more about ourselves. Whenever someone shares something with you about yourself and you find yourself saying "I don't do that" chances are you probably do, but you just are not aware of it. The way you find out how they know something, is to ask the question, "What behavior are you seeing that I don't see?" You will probably be surprised and learn something new about yourself.
Bryan and I have had this exchange in the reverse. He also always knew when I wanted to talk about something because I would play with my hands when I had something serious on my mind. I used to ask him, how do you know and like me, he would say I just can tell. Finally I asked the right question, "What do you see?" and he gave me the gift of self awareness.
Wives of the world in what ways can you honor your husband with honesty? Is there something about his behavior that he always does and he does not know how you know what is going on with him at that time? If so how can you honor him with honesty and give him the gift of self awareness today? Self-awareness is one of the key indicators of leadership capability. When someone gives you the gift of self awareness they are helping you to be a better leader, parent, wife, Christian or just a better person. When we are more aware of our behavior we can respond to situations in a more authentic and intentional manner instead of an automatic response. How can you give your husband the gift of honesty today? Please share your stories with us; we would love to hear from you.
Blessings,
Rochelle
"Honesty does not always bring a response of love, but it is absolutely essential to it." Ray Blanton
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